I believe that man's only purpose on Earth is the same as any other species' purpose... to propagate and to ensure the continuation of its own species existence. So what happens when you don't want to propagate because you believe that there is already too many people in the world??? What if you don't think it's appropriate to bring people into a world that you don't even have much desire to be in yourself? What if you don't think that you would be a good role model, would be a horrible father, and would raise terrible kids???

So that means that I have to find an artificial reason to living. What's left??? Many people cling to religion. I'm not an idiot and I can accept reality. I'm not one for believing in Santa Claus although everything points against his existence and he cannot be proved. Religion is just a crutch used by society to fill the void of not having a point of existence.

What else is left??? Blur my reality & mind with drugs, alcohol and sex??? Don't want to do that either. I'm still straight edge as always. I want to be in control of my reality. I would rather die than have to escape reality on a normal basis. When the time comes that I feel that I have to leave reality in order to accept reality, to have a good time or whatever, that's the point where my life has become worth nothing.

I don't know what I'm living for.

I just beat F.E.A.R. Extraction Point and I can honestly say that although it is an amazing game that did make me jump more than once, it wasn't as fulfilling as the original F.E.A.R. Maybe I was playing this game more frequently, but it definitely didn't seem to last anywhere near as long as the first one, and the ending was nowhere near as good, although it was pretty similar.

I would still have to recommend buying it and playing it however, as it is still one of my favorite games. I'm definitely going to be getting Perseus Mandate soon. Although I may take a break from the F.E.A.R. series and try either Bioshock... or... I may give in and try Call of Duty 4 as I've been hearing some really good stuff about it from coworkers and even my boss. I'm not too into multiplayer though so I'm not sure how good the single player is, but hopefully it'll be worth the investment... if I do even get it.

I've decided to wait until June to get a PS3 when they're re-releasing the 80 gig version, and it'll also contain Metal Gear Solid 4, which I'm totally stoked about!!!