As I sit her all teary eyed, I know that there are so many things bigger and more important then what we wrap ours selves up in daily..

Non of us are guaranteed anything in this life.. or even life at all.

I believe our beautiful Elsie has passed away at 22 years of age.
I have for awhile loved this girl from afar, I never took the time to tell her just how much of a crush I had on her.
I never told her that while listening to her play and sing that I always envisioned buying her CD in stores one day.
She managed the rare feat of being beautiful on the inside and the outside.

So take a moment and listen to this



And remember her. She is and will be missed.
Life really is to short to be caught up on to many of the small things.

This blog is dedicated to Elsie.
I'll update you all on myself in the next blog. Thanks for Reading.

EDIT: Keely explains what has happened in her last few blogs.

Ok after a hectic few days I have managed to get everything ready..

For those of you who wanted to see or those who didn't read my last blog, Here is what my car looks like as of right now.



and the Window from when the hood slammed into it..



Anyways the repairs exceed the value of the car so I have to get a new cheap car and though I had saved some money I still don't have enough to buy something that runs.. Soooo I've done two things..

First I added a folder here in my pics section called : Prints?
Along with any of the pics in the set up and the MR set they are what I can make prints of right now if anyone is interested. I'd be happy to sign them any way you like 8x10 are $20 and that includes the shipping.

And secondly I have made an album at photobucket with pics of the stuff I have for sale..
I have alot more to sell aswell but I just haven't been able to gather and photograph it yet.

Things for sale
If you would like details on any of the items please just let me know also all of them are just make an offer.
So please feel free to make an offer. I would like payments thru paypal but would consider other forms of payment just message me and we can talk about it.

The other items I have I will try to list as soon as I can.

Please know, I have no transportation till I get a new car. So I will not be able to ship any of the items until I'm able to get the car. For that I am sorry.

And for those of you that have been amazing and lended me a helping hand so far I want to say Thank You so much..

Thanks for reading and looking guys..Comment and pm if you need/want anything...

I will sell you guys everything I own..

I am now without a car it's trashed/totaled and I have to get a new one asap or my already unstable life will just enjoy the ride down the shitter..

Problem is even though I was saving for a newer one I had not saved enough.. sooo that means I need help.

So I will sell you guys just about anything I have.. I'm going to spend the next few days looking what I have and taking pics so I can list it here.. If you are looking for something let me know I just might have it...

Also if anyone knows where to look for cheep cars please let me know...

Thanks guys.. Pics of car and stuff for sale up as soon as I can and again if you have something you want/ have been looking to get yell it out I just might have it

I made a new video that I'm proud of:
If you have a moment, It's not long.



Thank You

♥♥♥

I feel like I'm evolving but i'm not sure into what.
I'm changing so much in some ways and not at all in others.Stuck in old (bad) habits.
Lately life has been very surreal for me. I feel content for the first time in so many things but there are still some unsettling aspects of my life that are digging at me. I even started a new semi secret blog on blogger/blogspot to vent some honest thoughts that very likely won't make much sense..

I know I haven't been around as much as of late but..
I just want to say thank you to each and everyone of you who have commented and who have read these blogs.
To all of you who I've talked to on here and become friends with I care about you all very much and I just thought you should know

Yeah yeah super sappy I know but everyone could stand to practice a lil more gratitude.

So talk to me, What's up?





<3

Yes it's about damn time I make a new blog..Only problem is I don't have a whole bunch to update with...

So here lookie 2 new pics till I have something else to post




On a good note, I'm feeling a good deal better...
And........
Beau and Dorsal have a super hot multi set in MR .. wow wow woo wee

Ok well next update will be much quicker, promise ♥

I thought it was about that time again..So I have a few things to cover..

First.. I want to see Repo the Genetic Opera sooooooo bad.
This will be the fist time I WANTED to see a movie with Paris Hilton in it.
But check it out:




Also super randomly These are really really tasty as a Lower Fat Potato Chip alternative.


Yummy! eating some now as I type

My fave Twitter friend: themtyThor who is also a youtube big wig sent me a super cool Thor hat, I love it.. It's really high quality.. so i thought I'd pimp the hat out..




Ok on to the semi serious stuff..

So since I've gone over a year sick as shit and taking meds that make me nuts.. I've had alot of Depression, Anxiety and Bitterness as of late. So rather then just sit and stew in it I chose to go to the local Mental Health.
So yesterday was a big official sit down with lots and lots of questions 2 and a half hours worth of them.
So my case manager says well seeing what you are dealing with we need to get you on meds but I can't imagine what you would be able to take with your current sickness..So she said wait here and I'll go talk with the doctor and we'll figure something out for you..

30 mins later she comes back (after I heard her arguing with the doc in the hall) and she says:
"The doc doesn't think you can take any meds like you need with that stomach issue you have sooo he says you need to come back when you have that taken care of but until then we can't help you"

OMG WTF! I talked with her for 2 and a half hours to the point she knows damn well that IF my stomach issues were healed I wouldn't fucking need to get help from them in the first place.. That's what's MAKING me depressed..

So I talked to her a little more and she said oh well maybe some other agency can give you counseling, but we just don't offer that without medicating.. We used to but now we don't. State funding sets that we only deal with severe cases. again WTF?

So yeah this getting help thing not working out so well..I wish I could say otherwise but this is indeed the story of my life.

So who wants to see Repo? Do ya dig my hat? and Do ya think I'm wrong to be upset with how the visit with Mental Health went?

Guess What??







Yep.. Pictures of me...Who ever would have guessed...


I'm feeling oddly creative and don't really have a way to express it right now..Hmmm what should I do.. Sing, Dance, Make more pics?? oh before you go there.. no I can't draw worth hell..

More later

Bored??? Wanna watch me sing dance and act like a retard???
Well if you said yes to all those..I'll be on cam at blogtv in 20 mins.. so come on over and chat with us..

http://www.blogtv.com/People/Ilectra

I'll be taking song requests and playing show and tell as well as some would you rather and answering personal questions.. No Question off limits..

I'll be on at 9pm till 10pm or so unless you guys convince me to stay on longer


I will also be recording this show so if you miss it don't you worry..lol
Love to see you there..

-Ilectra

_____________________________
Edit:
_____________________________

On man guys that was a blast thanks so much for coming and rocking it .
You guys from SG filled the place..
Thanks again to you all..
You miss it??? Well there is video of the whole thing here....

See what you missed?? or just relive the moment..lol

Oh and this one too, I get with the booty shaking.

♥ you all

For a year and 3 months I have been sick.. Some days good, Some days bad but so far neverending....
I'm now taking a bag full of meds and am I any better??? NO. I get some new meds from the doc yesterday and took them today.. What did they do.. Make me 95% worse then I already was.. I went to another doc today and he gave me more new meds so who knows what tomorrow will bring..

For as strong as everyone says I am and seems to think I am.. I am not handling this well. One thing I feel for sure is that a person can go only so long like this without some sort of relief or pain management or something..

I'm trying everything I know how to get myself better but I can't afford all the doctors and medicines, This sickness has made me unable to work for the most part so I can't afford to continue to be sick so much..

Side effects ever notice that alot of meds have side effects just as bad as what you are taking it for..What the hell is that all about..it's like a pick and choose what problem you are willing to live with..

So anyways things seem to keep getting worse rather then better.. I never imagined in a million years all this would have landed on me like it has..So you guys just have to understand that life has managed to get in the way of me being around as much and posting the updates that I promise..

Reading back through this blog I feel like i'm just complaining and should save you guys the reading and scrap it.. But I won't cause I want to be honest bout whats up with me..even if thats not always positive..

Thanks for being the coolest people I know.
-I