IPOD
RADIO
I know how tiresome my enduring negative attitude can be. Pessimism isn't very interesting, after all, nor is a tendency to complain that persist heedless of whether or not just cause is present.
There's always the possibility that my outlook is valid, of course. There could be no God, and human emotion could be nothing more than chemical reactions with no greater significance than what happens when you mix baking soda and vinegar. It could be that nothing matters after all, even happiness and laughter and depression and complaints.
But that's no way to live, now is it? Nobody ever said truth had to take precedent over personal fulfillment, and there's nothing wrong with entertaining the chemicals in your head. After all, if nothing matters, then neither does the truth, nor reason and logic, nor any obligation to dismiss fancy.
So I guess I have two options, the first being to somehow forget what I suspect and the second to somehow find happiness in my admittely juvenile, half-baked nihlism. I don't know if I can do it, but knowing that I won't have anything worth doing until I feel that things are worth doing, I can at least say my schedule's free for me to try.
There's always the possibility that my outlook is valid, of course. There could be no God, and human emotion could be nothing more than chemical reactions with no greater significance than what happens when you mix baking soda and vinegar. It could be that nothing matters after all, even happiness and laughter and depression and complaints.
But that's no way to live, now is it? Nobody ever said truth had to take precedent over personal fulfillment, and there's nothing wrong with entertaining the chemicals in your head. After all, if nothing matters, then neither does the truth, nor reason and logic, nor any obligation to dismiss fancy.
So I guess I have two options, the first being to somehow forget what I suspect and the second to somehow find happiness in my admittely juvenile, half-baked nihlism. I don't know if I can do it, but knowing that I won't have anything worth doing until I feel that things are worth doing, I can at least say my schedule's free for me to try.
It's not that bad, having part of your mouth dismantled. In fact, who doesn't like to have a single overwhelming problem to temporarily blot out every other challenge, at least for a moment?
Sorry, I can't worry about the future. I hot bleeding holes in my mouth in the present.
Sorry, I can't worry about the future. I hot bleeding holes in my mouth in the present.
I'm afraid of having my teeth pulled. I'm afraid of having to swallow my own blood, and having my face swell until I resemble Joseph Merrick*. Not even Joseph Merrick should look like Joseph Merrick. I'm afraid of being ugly, for a few days or forever.
*I call him that because that was his name, even if it muddles my pop culture references.
Everything I say is a cliche, at least to me. Until I grow a new brain, all I'll have are old thoughts.
I'm worth my weight in meat.
I'm a sandwich waiting to happen.
I'm food eating food eating food.
I'm a sandwich waiting to happen.
I'm food eating food eating food.
Taken verbatim from my letter to a penpal, because I don't see the point of rephrasing for a new audience.
I think all the techniques we have for judging each other are silly, like the idea that a firm handshake indicates strength of character. Actually, it's more likely that a man with a firm grip knows he's about to be judged and is eager to impress. Everyone knows the technique, and since a strong clasp is within everyone's grasp it stands to reason that those who worry the most about how they're perceived are among those with the strongest handshakes.
Conversely, a weak handshake is probably isn't indicative of a deficiency of character. Rather, it means the guy isn't worried about impressing you, or is perhaps left-handed. If it's the latter, then kudos! You're not shaking the hand he masturbates with.
It's not limited to just handshakes, of course. Pathological liars have no trouble making eye contact, and a plate that isn't clean just means you aren't willing to overeat out of a misguided sense of guilt, and a constant smile is more so an indicator of muscle control than good humor.
Of course, a dilemna arises when you know these things. Do you play along for the sake of making good impressions, or do you buck the ridiculous trend in the name of forcing people to forego preliminary until more useful information is at hand? Personally, I don't bother giving the death grip or get lost in other people's eyes because I just don't care, and I'm sure that's cast me in an unsightly light in the past. And the thing is, while a poor opinion of me may not be warranted for me for the reasons I sought to rebuke in this post, it may still be warranted.
Not caring isn't a virtue. Not wanting to make a good impression isn't a virtue.
So maybe the bullshit judgment techniques aren't useless after all.
Conversely, a weak handshake is probably isn't indicative of a deficiency of character. Rather, it means the guy isn't worried about impressing you, or is perhaps left-handed. If it's the latter, then kudos! You're not shaking the hand he masturbates with.
It's not limited to just handshakes, of course. Pathological liars have no trouble making eye contact, and a plate that isn't clean just means you aren't willing to overeat out of a misguided sense of guilt, and a constant smile is more so an indicator of muscle control than good humor.
Of course, a dilemna arises when you know these things. Do you play along for the sake of making good impressions, or do you buck the ridiculous trend in the name of forcing people to forego preliminary until more useful information is at hand? Personally, I don't bother giving the death grip or get lost in other people's eyes because I just don't care, and I'm sure that's cast me in an unsightly light in the past. And the thing is, while a poor opinion of me may not be warranted for me for the reasons I sought to rebuke in this post, it may still be warranted.
Not caring isn't a virtue. Not wanting to make a good impression isn't a virtue.
So maybe the bullshit judgment techniques aren't useless after all.
I was watching a Colbert Report interview with a man who hypothesizes sex with robots within our lifetime, to the detriment of conventional relationships and the family structure. It was then that my mom pointed out that this sort of thing was already happening, what with all she's heard about women who've turned their back on traditional sex and marriage in favor of dildos and vibrators. Apparently, she says, there are women with drawers full of them, and that's all they need to be satisfied.
And now I am back from my parents' house.
And now I am back from my parents' house.
DECEMBER 2007
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NOVEMBER 2007
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