I'm not even close to missing the deadlines, at present.

The applications for the two not particularly demanding schools which I'm planning on applying to are actually more than a month from now and more than two months from now, respectively, so there's really nothing to worry about. I've filled out the one online application I could fill out and I'll start the essay when I have a free moment and take care of my transcript when I'm back home and able to receive mail.

I also dreamed I'd gone to hell. Satan offered to get me out for $4, so I gave that much to him, but when I asked what kind of consumer protection was available to me as a patron of demonic services he got all huffy and sicced his damned on me. I threw $11 at them, $5 short of the entire contents of my wallet, and bolted.

I was also Speed Racer for a portion of this adventure, but without the benefit of a car, which I suppose is like that dream dudes sometimes have where they lose their penises but slightly more culturally relevant.

Sometimes I forget who I am. It's not amnesia, really, but rather an inability to grasp the concept of self. I wake up from a daze and attempt to deduce some sort of identity for myself. I cycle through the facts of who I am such as my name, my birthday, where I am now, and how I got there, but the existential math doesn't add up. I feel no connection with the facts of myself, nor the things I have done, and I feel as though I could be describing someone else to myself or dreaming further. Sometimes it extends throughout the day, and this feeling of disconnect extends to my actions even as I engage in them and my words even as I speak them.

Sometimes I think it might be depersonalization disorder, but I'm not convinced that this isn't just something I've invented for myself, so I can feel more interesting than I really am.