Sometimes I just want to move to Vancouver (or anywhere really. Portland. San Francisco. Chicago. New York. I don't know why I picked Vancouver. It's pretty there and it's where they shot The X-Files for 5 years.), form my own burlesque troup, go to cosmetology school, take up photography, finally learn to play the damn guitar, rent a little house, have a little kitty, act in funky, arty films and plays, work as an alternative model, get all the tattoos I want and not have to worry about "getting cast" and "harming my ability to work" in mainstream film and theatre, and read and cook and live life. I am fucking suffocating here. I hate the midwest. I hate everything and everyone here. I would have to take my parents and brother with me, though. They're the only people in my life that matter a great deal to me. I wish I was at home with them right now. Watching TV, my mother playing with my hair, my dad dancing like an idiot, my brother practicing his death metal growl, my cat meowing and looking all fluffy and cute. These thoughts are the only ones that keep me sane.

If my life was an ice cream flavor, it'd be pralines and dick.

in other news: I want Randi's hair.

and the man in the back said 'everyone attack!' and it turned into a ballroom blitz!

and how does one get into the modeling world along the lines of London and Randi and many of the other girls? Hm.

random update

g e n e r a l
1. Name: Siouxsie
2. Single or taken: single
3. Sex: female
4. Bday: march 22
5. Sign: aries
6. Siblings: Yes
7. Hair Color: dark brown
8. Eye Color: blue

f a s h i o n | s t u f f
1. Where is your favorite place to shop: here and there.

2. Any tattoos or piercings: yes. 4 tats. ears. defunct tongue.

sp e c i f i c s
1. Do you do drugs?: no
2. What kind of shampoo do you use?: thermasilk
3. What are you most scared of? mediocrity for the rest of my life. a boring existence. staying in Indiana.
4. What are you listening to right now?: The Cramps
5. Who is the last person that called you?: my mom
6. Where do you want to get married?: marriage doesn't appeal to me.
7. How many buddies are online right now? I'm rarely on IM.
8. What would you change about yourself? physically: my teeth, mentally/emotionally: tons of stuff. I need some work done.

f a v o r i t e s
1. Color: black and red
2. Food: tuna nigiri, raspberries, bread.
3. Boy's names: Christian/Johnathan/Luke
4. Girl's names: Jane/Katherine/Elizabeth/Stella
5. Subjects in school: acting classes/theatre history classes/mythology classes
6. Animals: kitties and mini-ponies.
7. Sports: I don't like sports.

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
1. Given anyone a bath?: no
2. Smoked?: yes
3. Bungee jumped?: no
4. Made yourself throw up?: no
5. Skinny dipped?:no
6: Ever been in love?: no
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: probably
8. Pictured your crush naked?: not really
9. Actually seen your crush naked? no
10. Cried when someone died: yes
11. Lied: yes
12. Fallen for your best friend?: no
13. Been rejected?: yes
14. Rejected someone?: yup
15. Used someone?: Probably
16. Done something you regret? Yes
17. Gone Skydiving? no

c u r r e n t
Clothes: jeans/loose black top
Make-up: concealer/powder/bronzer/blush/eyeliner/mascarra/shimmer stuff
Annoyance: my fucking apartment and the cunts that reside there
Smell: stale clothes
Favorite artist: (Music?) too many
Favorite group (music?): too many
Desktop picture: a fake poster a friend made for me
Book you're reading: King Rat, China Mellville
CD in player: The Cramps, Bad Music for Bad People
Color of toenails: clear

l a s t | p e r s o n
You touched: my mom
Hugged: my mom
You IMed: my brother
You yelled at: my roommate for being a fucking cunt
You kissed: no one

a r e | y o u
Understanding: sometimes
Open-minded: yes
Interesting: depends on your definition of interesting, but I think I'm quite neat.
Random: yes
Smart: sometimes
Organized: not really
Shy: sometime
Difficult: Sometimes
Attractive: I'm all right
Bored easily: yes, but then I find something crafty to do or a mix cd to make
Messy: unfortunately, yes. I'm working on it, though.
Responsible: for the most part
Obsessed: when I was younger...
Angry: Sometimes
Sad: Sometimes
Happy: sometimes
Hyper:not really
Trusting: no
Talkative: if you know me

w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a
Kill: Nobody
Slap: the whores in my house
Look like: myself but better
Talk to offline: I don't know...
Talk to online: I don't know...

r a n d o m
In the morning I am: somewhat sleepy, but ready to start the day
All I need is: to get away, my family, excitment, fullfillment.
Love is: overrated
Dream about: weird and varried things.

w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r
Coke or Pepsi: Coke!
Flowers or Candy: Flowers
Tall or Short: taller than me

OPPOSITE SEX
What do you notice first: hair and if they have tattoos. the way they dress.
First person you slow danced with: this crazy dude named Hans.
Worst question for them to ask: "why on earth did you get that tattoo? *I* would *never* do that!" "why do you never smile?" dude, the guys around me are dumb.
Makes you laugh the most: wacky things. anchorman. zoolander. funny animal videos. mini-ponies.
What makes you smile: cool people doing kind things. my mom. raspberries. was this supposed to be about dudes? oh well.
Who gives you a funny feeling: um, this question?
Who do you have a crush on: "that's none of your damn business, and I thank you to stay out of my personal affairs."