Wow it is indeed amazing how time flies when you're having fun Or when you're being ground into pulp by your soul-crushing job. Or too busy pretending to be somewhere else to pay much attention to RL

So Warsaw was cool - very cold but very pretty. Also some wonderful food - the Polish are into their game so I had wild boar, venison, goose, duck. Not exactly a place for veggies. But cheap as chips - a meal that would've cost £50 in London was only about £20 over there. Went into the palace and wandered about the rest of the old town, peeking into churches and checking out the monuments. Sampled some interesting vodkas and a very tasty Polish porter. Also brought back some mead which I haven't tried yet.

Then off to a small UK freeform LRP con called Consequences which was a bit of a mixed bag. Met some lovely people and played some cool board games but the LRPs themselves were largely disappointing. The highlight was getting to play a Star Trek Federation captain (and wear a Next Gen red uniform) in a game which played out very much like Carry On Star Trek. I was definitely the straight man, but that suited me fine

Back at work things are continuing to get worse. The Powers That Be have decided to try and oust our CTO (and my boss), but not only does he have six months notice but he doesn't want to go and they don't have any sort of plan to try and see us through the interim. Or apparently any plan for when he's finally gone. And since our other techie is on two months sabbatical that leaves me holding the shit-filled can for the forseeable future. Except they won't give me any authority (or resource) to actually get anything done. So after New Year I'll probably have to quit, or otherwise go completely mental .

Xmas though has been a much-needed respite. I volunteered to cook for the folks for the first time, rather than the usual vice versa. I boned up on my Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay and thankfully it was a huge success - in fact possibly the best turkey I've ever eaten, even if I do say so myself. Boxing Day and the subsequent Bank Holiday was crammed with board games and now I'm holding the fort at work (from home) waiting for next weekend to arrive.

Oh, and every spare minute I've been playing The Old Republic, which is pretty amazing. Very much the online single-player game with team-up options I was looking for. And the immersion is pretty intense with great voice over acting and constant John Williams music in the background. And I've just discovered I can run it through my plasma for cinematic effect...

Hope everyone else has had a good crimbo so far, and that your New Year will be suitably awesome. Here's hoping 2012 will be better than 2011. *fingers xssed*

So I've reverted to being something of a hermit lately. Partly this has been to distinct lack of cash to spare, and partly it's also been due to a string of recurring illnesses. Nothing that's put me a death's door or that requires a great deal of sympathy, but enough to mess with my work, my sleeping patterns and my pitiful attempts at a social life.

These recent events have led to me discovering just how rubbish my local NHS practice has become. It's impossible to get an appointment there and you get very short shrift from the receptionists. The doctors themselves are like musical chairs and you never see the same face twice. Looking up the place on NHS Direct there are endless posts from people complaining about the terrible service. Unfortunately all the other practices in my area have an equal number of complaints. It seems like it's getting to the point where if I need a doctor I either walk into an A&E or go private *sighs*

In other news things at work are heating up, mostly because our CEO has had a major chewing out by our shareholders over his hands-off (read: non-existent) approach to managing our office. Over the last few weeks I've become something of a silent partner-in-crime being possibly the only one in the office with any clue, and with any handle on what really goes on here on a daily basis. I'm hoping that I end up with a better job here, as otherwise I will end up hitting the wall and handing my notice in... *sighs again*

On a brighter front the game design is coming along nicely. I have 3 games at prototype stage now which I've showcased to various people with a lot of positive feedback. I have 3 more games in the works which should also be ready soon. It feels rather like the creative floodgates have opened and I've finding it difficult to stop. I haven't heard back about getting them published but plan B might be to go on Kickstarter, or even Dragon's Den...

Next week I'll be demoing at London MCM Expo (if you're going come and say hi) and running a horror game for some friends for Halloween. Then I'll be off to Warsaw, Poland for a week and then to darkest Devon for a freeform LRP convention called Consequences (where I get to be a cowboy, an retired rock star and a Vulcan science officer).

Hope to see everyone here soon, although at this rate it will be around Xmas...

So recently I seemed to have recovered something of my old creative mojo. Winning the award for the TRON game earlier this year has galvanised me somewhat and so I've been setting out to prove I'm more than a one trick pony games designer. In the last month or so I've completed several games for playtesting and I'm already talks with a prospective publisher. Without wishing to jinx it I hope it's the first onto brighter and better things.

This creative streak also led me to audition for a part in a stage version of Terry Pratchett's Carpe Jugulum directed by a friend of mine in east London later this year. It was a pretty nerve-wracking experience but quite fun. I wasn't lucky enough to land a major role, but I did offered a minor one. Only I've had to turn it down as they changed the performance dates and it clashes with a holiday I've already booked. Tsk.

And on the subject of holidays this last weekend I was away in France visiting one set of parents to celebrate my step-mum's birthday. Quite frankly I would much rather have been in London to celebrate TheQuestion's birthday instead but duty called. It was nice to get away from work nonetheless and the weather was awesome. The trip was however slightly marred by the fact I picked up a throat infection on the way out and had to spend the entire time not sleeping and not drinking.

On the big screen I've recently seen X-Men First Class (pretty good) and Transformers 3 (terrible). Next up will be Harry Potter 7.2, Captain America and Super 8. On the small screen the Chicago Code just finished (very good), and The Cape (pretty bad) just started. Dexter season 5 and Supernatural season 6 are pretty cool too but nothing compares to the awesomeness that was A Game of Thrones, which is now over (until next year). To make up for it I did pick up the hardback of George R R Martin's latest A Dance With Dragons, which I burned through in less than a week leaving me wanting more....

So two months have slipped by with nary a post. It would be fair to say I've been reasonably busy, but it's also fair to say that I mostly just fail at blogging, mainly because I still have this ongoing difficulty believing that many people would actually be that interested in what I have to say.

This extends even to face-to-face social time to the extent that when people ask me how I've been I struggle to think of an appropriate reply. Do I simply lie and say everything's great for their benefit? Or do I burden them with my ongoing extistential angst and ruin their day?

It's not that life is particularly bad - for most part I should be grateful for my job, my family and friends and my quality of life. In fact compared to the terrible things that have happened to people recently in other parts of the world (e.g. Japan, the American mid-West) I should be ashamed of feeling remotely blue.

I suspect that this may be a sign of some sort of impending mid-life crisis. For nearly ten years now I have been coasting along, consistently hating my job, constantly procrastinating, and filling the majority of my spare time with fun but non-constructive escapist activities.

It's starting to sink in that my career isn't going anywhere and it's not what I really wanted to do with life anyway. But I feel trapped by mortgage payments and bills etc. and feel obliged to just keep treading water. And the genetic imperative is somehow starting to matter more, but with no romantic prospects on the horizon this also feels like a dead end.

*sighs*

On a brighter note, being busy has helped me dodge thinking about all this too much. I've been to the cinema a fair bit and joined in on a few birthday celebrations. I went to see an old uni friend up in Leeds and we went to the National Mining Centre and Yorkshire Wildlife Park, which was fun. I attended a special preview screening of The Extraorindary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec at the BFI which the director Luc Besson himself attended and did a Q&A. I went to a games convention in Burton-on-Trent and caught up with ex-SGUK member fpkk. I went with my folks to see the restored art-deco wonders of Eltham Palace.

Perhaps the biggest personal news of note is that I'm also help run a web site devoted to fantasy and historical wargaming and our group volunteered to run three participation game tables at the biggest show of the year - Salute 2011at the Excel Centre. One of our guys bailed on a table at the last minute so I built a replacement game from scratch based on the light cycle races in Tron Legacy.



Not only did the game go really well, but I actually won an award from the show's organisers for 'The Most Innovative Game of the Show'



Moving on to some film reviews:

- Thor is the latest film from Marvel Studios and the next step in the roadmap which is taking audiences worldwide towards the Avengers blockbuster shceduled to be released next year. Chris Helmsworth takes on the titular role with gusto, protraying great arrogance as a god, and great humilty and humour when thrust amongst regular humanity. The rest of the casting is strong, and special mention should be made of Tom Middleton's role as Loki, Thor's brother and rival. Natalie Portman is cute, and sells her romance with hunky Thor, although she is difficult to buy as a serious and accomplished astrophysicist. The film also features several cameos from other Marvel characters, and includes the obligatory post-credit Avengers teaser scene. I was worried about the tone of the film, but director Kenneth Branagh handled things just right. The only surprise was just how much humour had been crammed into the script. Overall a great action film that does justice to the material - I'd say this might be best action film of the year but we still have Captain America and Cowboys and Aliens to come...

- Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides sees the return of Jonny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow, this time on the hunt for the fabled Fountain of Youth. He finds himself caught in the midst of rivalry between Blackbeard (played by Ian McShane), Barbossa (played by Geoffrey Rush) and the forces of the Spanish Crown. He reunites with old flame Angelica (played by Penelope Cruz) but is not sure that he can trust her. The costumes, effects and action set pieces are dramatic, impressive and in line with what audiences have come to expect from the franchise. However, in place of the young lovers Will and Elizabeth we have a young priest and a mermaid. The plot isn't particularly convoluted although there are a number of moments where you wonder why things are happening. There are some fun moments, but the film could have benefited from a larger injection of wit - the lightness of touch evident in the first film of the series continues to be absent here. Entertaining enough, but nowhere near as fun as Thor was...

As a final note and a treat to those of you who are still reading it's my birthday next week. Wallflower that I am, I'm not inclined to make a song and dance about it here, but I am gathering people for drinks at the Mayflower pub in Bermondsey next Friday 3rd June and any/all of you would be more than welcome to come and join me

I guess I'm overdue for some film reviews...

Disney's Tangled was a pleasant surprise, if something of a guilty pleasure. A novel spin on the tale of Rapunzel, the tiular girl has magic hair that is not only incredibly long, strong and prehensile, but can also heal people and make them younger. She is kept in a tower by an witch who is obssessed with retaining her youth, but hijnks ensue when a wayward, handsome young thief stumbles across Rapunzel's tower and lets her out. Full exuberant song, dance, peril, adventure and romance it's very much the kind of thing that Disney are best at, and probably the best thing they've churned out for years (if you exclude everything from Pixar).

Paul was marketed as a geek comedy, but I found it rather geek heavy and rather light on genuine laughs. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have had a lot of luck with the TV and film work they've done with Edgar Wright in the past. Here Pegg and Frost have written a script and given it to someone else - to me it felt rather like a love letter to their absent pal Wright, but with much clumsier and painful in-jokes and pop culture references. The premise is really part road-movie and part chase-movie. The two leads essentially play themselves as tourists taking in San Diego Comic Con before touring the desert. On their travels they meet an escaped alien, and end up helping him trying to avoid the authorities and make it home. I'm not saying there's not things to love about the film (Kristen Wiig's performance as a newly-freed Bible-basher a particular standout) but I didn't find it anywhere near as inventive or as funny as it could've been. So a big meh there really.

The Fighter features some worthy performances from Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams and Melissa Ward. A true story about two boxing brothers, one of whom sinks to the gutter while the other rises to success is skilfully told, and painfully rendered. Each of the actors and actresses deserve their award nominations, even if there were moments where the assembled Ward family seemed like something from a pantomime. I realised Bale had nailed it though as his potrayal as a junkie was extremely, extremely annoying, and unlike any role he's taken on before (and if you think that's an actor's affectation wait until the credits where you see the real guy who acts in *just* the same way).

Submarine is a real slice of wry British joy. Written and directed by Richard Ayoade (from the IT Crowd, Mighty Boosh and Garth Merenghi's Dark Place) the film centres on the growing up pains of a teenage boy in a quiet town somewhere in Wales. Main character Oliver Tate juggles the stress and the wonder of having his first girlfriend while watching his parent's marriage disintegrate. Full of great lines and unexpected turns, it's also a canny recreation of a bygone era of Britain which no longer exists. More touching and much funnier than Paul it's well worth a look.

Battle Los Angeles is for the most part a real waste of time. The premise is quite promising - a up-close and personal take on a conflict which suddenly breaks out when aliens invade the Earth. The effects are top notch, but sadly the producers skimped when it came to the script. We get a couple of hours of shakycam footage of marines and CG aiiens shooting at each other and blowing stuff up, but the camera never stops long enough for us to really see what's going on. Furthermore the protagonist characters are nothing more than thumbnail sketches and it's difficult to care as one by one they get bumped off. Two thirds of the way through I was just bored. The score was also a rip-off of music from Sunshine. And the explanation mooted for the alien invasion is honestly ludicrous. The producers should be ashamed of themselves.

Looking at the various other reviews out there for The Adjustment Bureau people seem intent on giving the film a hard time. I actually rather like it though. Obviously the high concept is a tough sell, but really the film is just a love story - the 'clever' plot is really just an interesting way of exploring whether or not two people are supposed to be together or not. The chemistry between Matt Damon and Emily Blunt is great, and quite frankly Blunt is fabulous for every minute of her screen time. I'd take this over a lame alien invasion any day.

Finally I had the pleasure of seeing a preview of The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec at the NFT last weekend. The latest film by French director Luc Besson, the film is based on a French comic series which whilst unheard of overseas is apparently really big at home. Besson grew up with the stories and always wanted to adapt them - apparently it took him four years to convince the writer to let him do it. The results are awesome to behold - a sort of joyous period fairytale adventure - somewhere between Tintin and Tomb Raider with plenty of humourous twists. Adele is a sort of nineteenth-century Lara Croft who is intent on bringing a mummy back to life so that she can use the ancient's medical knowledge to save her sister, who was near-fatally-injurred in a freak tennis accident. Alas though the mystic she needs to restore the mummy's life has been embroiled in a crime involving an escaped pteranadon and the French President's favourite yorkshire terrier and is headed for the guillotine! A real must-see, assuming the film gets a proper cinema release.

I'm currently re-reading a fantasy series written by the American author Melanie Rawn. The first book of the sequence is called Dragon Prince.



Although it looks and sounds a little cheesy it's something of a masterpiece within the genre and has held up pretty well to the years and to repeated reads. It's something of a fore-runner of the gritty political fantasy by George R R Martin (which is shortly to grace the small screen in adapted form) and the back cover of the first book makes comparisons to Frank Herbert's Dune.

Rawn's work is perhaps a little rose-tinted in the manner of many fantasy works written in the 1980s but it that doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken seriously. Ultimately it is a story about power - how it can be abused, and how it can be used wisely. The first series of books is focused around the rise to power of a young prince and how he comes to lead a nation. There isn't a lot of swashbuckling, but there is a lot of discussion of leadership, morals and ethics.

It's hard to recall exactly when I first read these books. My mother has always been a fan of fantasy novels, and what she's lacked for in discernment over the years she's made up for with her voracious reading speed and appetite. She handed me this particular series when I was perhaps 12 or 13, several years after my father left and broke up our family unit, but during a period in which he lived nearby and was engaged in constant conflict with my mother over visiting rights and maintenance payments.

As I re-read these books it's interesting to see just how much of an impression they made on me at the time. Not wishing to follow my father's poor example I clearly took a great deal of inspiration from the main character of the books. My general attitude in thinking and analysing before acting, my internal self-discipline and sense of honour, and my appreciation for intelligent, red-headed ladies can all be traced back to this single work of fiction. You could probably learn more about me from reading these books than from perhaps any other source.

In fact, the impact of these (and other) stories have been so great on my psyche that sometimes I feel a little dislocation. Like I was born to be a leader, in charge of something important, but somehow I fell off the path that I was supposed to be on. I'm pretty certain that if an apocalypse came to pass within my lifetime, were I to survive it I'd be much more use to the human race than I am now...

Three weeks into 2011 so far and it hasn't been so bad.

The Xmas break was nice enough, although not long enough. Spent Xmas day with my folks and my brother - it's always nice to spend time with them, even if our close proximity is usually a little trying. Ate way too much, watched Kick Ass and played a couple of board games. Caught up with a few friends and played a few more games over the bank holidays and attended a pleasant soiree in south London for New Year. After last year's adventure in Australia (and New Year in Sydney Harbour) it all seemed rather tame, but then since that experience is forever going to be difficult to top I'm not going to spend time worrying about it.

On the work front after returning from the Xmas/New Year break I teetered on breaking point. I composed quite a scathing diatribe against my boss and the company as an e-mail and then deleted it. I did however sneak a number of hints in over the following days about being unhappy, undervalued and underpaid, along with a suggestion that I might start job hunting. I was surprised (and pleased) when a couple of days after that my boss pulled me aside to say that a) I'm getting a pay rise, b) they're offering me a loan for my travelcard, c) they're going to pay for some training and d) they'll soon be making a contributions to my pension. All very welcome changes, if a little long overdue. Needless to say this has put me in a more positive headspace.

Aside from spending a lot of time ebaying crap to raise money for xmas presents, in December I also finally wrote the first chapter of my first novel. I also went to the Dragonmeet games convention where I ran games of the Seven Wonders card game all day. I also showed up at the London SGUK meet, which was ace fun up until the point where After Skool started and everyone bailed as the music was so crap. Since my last update I've also been to see the Deftones, 36 Crazyfists/DevilDriver and Emma Gillespie (as in Emma's Imagination from Sky's Must Be The Music). I also went to the cinema to see Machete (stupid gory fun), The Tourist (not that exciting), Skyline (dreadful), Monsters (great), Unstoppable (surprisingly exciting), Voyage of Dawn Treader (better than the last one) and Tron Legacy (pretty looking nonsense, could have been a lot worse).

Currently planning two tabletop RPGs - one based on the film Inception and another based on Harry Potter. Also contemplating a LRP version of Inglorious Basterds mixed with Allo Allo. And in theory I should be making time to finish stripping and painting my lounge, but since Xmas I have rediscovered Medieaval II Total War and I'm currently spending most of my time conquering Europe and fighting off Mongols.

I also need to decide what to wear to the SGUK prom/birthday extravaganza next Saturday. I thought about getting a white tux but haven't had much luck on ebay so far... *sighs*

So, another month, another update.

Some of you may already know that I work for a venture startup that focuses on VoIP telephony services for small business. Although a great idea in theory, our CEO and major sharedholder refuses to invest in enough staff to make sure that the work that needs doing gets done properly. In fact, there is an excess of work largely because the same reguses to invest in automating and improving our internal admin, provisioning and billing processes, which are hence extremely prone to manual error. Although the company has been this way for a while it's really starting to get to me now. A day at the office is a total grind, and I'm always doing other people's work - instead of my own work as there nobody else to do it. My legendary patience is finally running out and I'm worried that one day I'm just going to snap - either at a colleague or a customer - either way that's not going to be good *sighs*

Money is also becoming increasingly tight as we soldier on inevitably towards Xmas. For the last 12 months I've been ebaying like a bastard to help ends meet but I'm now starting to run out of stuff I can get rid of. I've already been curtailing my usual habits and haven't bought any comics or DVDs for months now. Going out socially now is much more of a dillemma than it used to be, simply because I can't afford it. I'm also particularly concerned about the VAT going up in January - everything is already too expensive and this is just going to make it worse *sighs*

In a brighter note the London MCM Expo was cool. Again the usual stall selling pointless collectible tat, and the usual plethora of mindboggling costumes. I've been working the Expo for a few years now and this is the biggest one I've seen to date. Literally tens of thousands of people over the weekend. Not only was the hall full up but it was wall-to-wall with people outside in the Excel concourse too. Sadly for everyone one great costume there were 5-10 terrible ones. Not that I could tell you who most kids were trying to be because I'm not much of an anime fan. 13 year olds girls in nurses gear and lingerie though is just wrong. As are extremely overweight people in body stockings and bikinis. Unfortunately once something is seen it cannot be un-seen. On the plus side I got to see the British SF author Peter F Hamilton speak and said hello to him and got three books signed by him. I did keep an eye out for McK in the artists area but didn't see him.

Also cool was the holiday I took immediately after the Expo. Went up to Derby and hired some cottages with a bunch of friends. We hung out, got smashed and played a bunch of board games and tabletop RPGs. Ran a couple of games myself, one of which was a Marvel Superheroes game which mixed the British TV shows Countdown, Blankety Blank, It's Knockout and The Crystal Maze with the horror movie Saw. I also introduced people to the board game Tobago by Rio Grande which is a reverse elimination logic game about hunting for treasure on a tropical island (telling people 'it's like minesweeper') seems to help. The highlight of the weekend was our dress-up game on the Saturday night which was set in a casino - many people simply gambled all night while some of the rest of us put on the entertainment, the finale of which can be found on Youtube:

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY59lsenYYE [/YOUTUBE]

Although I was thinking about doing NaNoWriMo this month, because I was on holiday I didn't get home until 9th Nov, which left starting it a bit late. I have sketched out the plot on my whiteboard and written a couple of thousand words but as I will struggle to devote 100% of my free time to it, I suspect it will take me well past the New Year before I get it finished. At least I've finally made a start though - I've certainly procrastinated enough about writing over the last couple of years...

Off later to see RED and Skyline - reviews to follow in due course!

Well that last entry was both miserable and rather cryptic. Sorry about that. Sorry too for taking so long to update. And sorry a third time for this uber-long blog catchup.

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Headaches

Shortly after TheQuestion's birthday do I was plagued with a bout of nasty headaches. I had them before a couple of years ago for a couple of months straight and they came and went pretty mysteriously. I never figured out what triggered them or what made them go away. My doctor at the time was pretty convinced they were 'cluster headaches' apparently common in men my age and just as mysterious to the medical world. I even had a MRI scan but to no avail. This latest bout was just as random and just as painful. I saw three different GPs, who this time decided that maybe they weren't cluster headaches even though the symptoms fitted and were the same as before, and were just as resistant to painkillers. After five weeks of hell though they once again magically stopped of their own accord. I suspect that maybe I haven't seen the last of them, but I'm glad they've gone for the time being.

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New Orleans

The best thing that's happened since my last update is my trip to New Orleans. The weather was pretty awesome for September, and the people and the food were even more awesome. Visited the Cabildo, the Cathedral, Brennan's for Breakfast, Cafe du Monde for tea and Napoleon House for dinner. Did a swamp tour and saw tons of alligators (and also ate some). Also checked out the Voodoo Museum, which was sadly a bit lame. The Aquarium was ok, but I've been to better places in Europe and Australia.

The highlight of the visit was actually to satisfy my nerdy gamer self - the Grand Masquerade event thrown by White Wolf Publishing at the Roosevelt Hotel (where I was staying). Did some Vampire LRP, some Vampire tabletop RPG and some Vampire CCG (V:TES). Was awed at the set dressing put up for the games and got some artwork signed. Was there for the company's 'big announcement' and the preview concept art they showed by the new MMO. Got utterly hammered at the two free bars set up on the Thursday and Saturday nights, danced until my feet got sore and hooked up for a while with a cool gamer girl from Florida.

A weekend made of win on all counts

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Facebook

After several years of vowing to stay away from the thing like the plague I finally caved in to collective friend pressure and joined Facebook. It does seem to be eerily addictive in a way that Twitter (and even this site) isn't. And I haven't even touched the stupid games and other apps. The number of times I've caught myself hovering to see who's updating is quite scary. If you'd like to contribute to this madness then you can find me and are welcome to add me under my real name:

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FIlm & TV

I've lost my cinematic momentum a little bit and I've missed a couple of key films over the last few weeks. I'm most gutted by The Girl Who Played With Fire which was only out for a week, bastards.

I did see The Expendables (pretty lame), The A-Team (better, but nothing special), and Salt (nicely executed if a little po-faced). Next up will likely be Buried, Devil and The Town, assuming I can catch them before they disappear, tsk.

At home I've been slowly making a dent in my 'to watch' pile but I won't bore you with the shit I've been watching. One highlight though was this last weekend when a friend brought over a copy of Panic au Village, an animated feature by the Belgian crew who have also recently been doing the Cravendale TV adverts. Brilliant and insane - I can't recommend it enough!

From Wikipedia: