OK so I think its time to re-invent myself for like the millionth time.

But on the up side of not being able to go back to work, another script is about to make its way to paper.

Milo should be turned into a short film though... Nothing like working on a bunch of shit at the same time.

So thing haven't / are not going as planned. Book got a bit fucked up, film is on hold, having problems at the VA. You'd think the whole me having a purple heart thing would kinda make it hard for them to fuck around with me. Guess not. Well the patient advocate will take it from here i suppose and if they fail me too I'm sure my congressman would love to here about it. Anyway, I'm not too fond of all the medications they have me on iI don't feel like myself anymore except when i think about, well, ............ I can't help but hope that one of these days I'll know what to do. But for now I guess I will just watch the same old stuff and listen to the same old songs. Dreaming.

Nous nous aimions bien tendrement
Comme s'aiment tous les amants
Et puis un jour tu m'as quittee
Depuis je suis desesperee
Je te vois partout dans le ciel
Je te vois partout sur la terre
Tu es ma joie et mon soleil
Ma nuit, mes jours, mes aubes claires

Tu es partout car tu es dans mon coeur
Tu es partout car tu es mon bonheur
Toutes les choses qui sont autour de moi
Meme la vie ne represente que toi
Des fois je reve que je suis dans tes bras
Et qu'a l'oreille tu me parles tout bas
Tu dis des choses qui font fermer les yeux
Et moi je trouve ca merveilleux

Peut-etre un jour tu reviendras
Je sais que mon coeur t'attendras
Tu ne pourras pas oublier
Les jours que nous avons passes
Mes yeux te cherchent sans arret
Ecoute bien mon coeur t'appelle
Nous pourrons si bien nous aimer
Tu verras la vie sera belle...

Tu es partout car tu es dans mon coeur
Tu es partout car tu es mon bonheur
Toutes les choses qui sont autour de moi
Meme la vie ne represente que toi
Des fois je reve que je suis dans tes bras
Et qu'a l'oreille tu me parles tout bas
Tu dis des choses qui font fermer les yeux
Et moi je trouve ca merveilleux...

My current chemical imbalance is doing detrimental things to my thought process and personality. I definitely wouldn't like me either. So, I understand your reasons behind the way you're looking at me. Mirrors never lie.

So...... I went and froze my ass off all night filming traffic and art hill last night and then today i froze my ass off filming the sunset for this project Drew talked me into. It sounds nice however, its so much work its gonna take forever. I dunno how i feel about it because I haven't finished the book since the whole thing got trashed somehow and I haven't finished the stop motion project yet. Fuck. I think I'm gonna just work on the stop animation 24/7 until its done. Same with the book since that's almost done for the second time. Maybe I just worry too much. I dunno. I'm just rambling now......

So on another note, the VA took my blood and the dumb lady fucked it up and went through the damn vein. Awesome right? FML. Then I got 16 X-rays taken. The first ten I got awhile back dont show anything wrong with my neck. Weird considering I'm in so much fucking pain. I tell them my knees are fucked up too and they asked which one hurt more lol. So they x-ray that one but not both. lol. Oh yea, this guy waiting to get blood drawn pissed his fucking pants right next to me. Yea I have loads of fun everyday let me tell ya.

So tomorrow I'm supposed to ride the metro-link in a complete circle to get another time lapse shot. Hopefully I don't get stabbed by a bum.

V-Day was nice. Snow is pretty but its cold. Maybe I'll take pictures tomorrow.

Good night all.

Have you ever wanted to push the person you used to think you loved off into a viper pit?

I really want to watch that happen to this person I used to date. She's the most hateful, mean, all around bad person I think I've ever encountered in my entire life. How hard is it to be polite and respectful to another human or even an animal? How hard is it to tell the person your in a relationship with the truth? I don't think I'll ever really understand any of this bullshit.

SO...... for anyone who wants to get me a V-Day gift.....

I'd like a person (female) -sorry nick- that isn't a complete monster and seems to be a generally good and loving person. Who is kind. Compassionate. Inelegant. Beautiful. Someone who loves photography and movies. Someone who makes me strive for perfection. Someone who challenges me and pushes me to be a better artist and a better person. lol just a thought...

I think i may finally send off the stuff for the photography book I've been putting together.

That is all.

Random.

Oh yea... i'll put some OEF pictures up like soon and shit so i can show off my shitty time in Afghanistan.

Going out with the boys. Gambling, clubs, drinking... should be fun. Hit me up if you wanna swing by.

314.397.9966