I can only write this here, since I have to maintain my facade to all my friends, and the one person on this site that I know in person will keep my secret...

I am not ok with the Mike-Zephyer situation.
I hate being single.
I was FINALLY getting comfortable, after a year and a half...
I started remembering all the stuff I had forgotten, like how nice it was to roll over to someone next to me...
or how it felt to know someone was thinking about me when I wasn't around...

but now all of that is gone.
Granted, I should not have had it from her in the first place. I broke the cardinal rule. If your friend has feelings for her, do not move in, even when they call it quits. (or at least I THOUGHT they had...)

I am ok when I don't think about it...
but late at night...all I want to do is cry.
Worst part is, I can't. For some reason, I am tapped out.
I've only cried once since it happened...they morning after the dumping.

I don't understand what I do to deserve this pain...
I am a good guy. I treat my women with respect. I show them love and affection.

And in general. I mean, I am a good person.
So why do I get karmically shit on ALL THE TIME.

Once again I am broken...
and all I want to do is give up...
quit...

lie down and die.

But I can't. Something won't let me.
And I did promise a friend that I wouldn't give up.

She's lucky I like her...

-KOS