Well, after sending a video of what my car is doing to a coworker who just got a job as a mechanic, it sounds like the timing belt has crapped out, meaning the car is dead.
I am not going to sink the money into it with all of it's current issues when I could probably get another car for what it would cost to fix it.

I was hoping it would last me another 3 months until I could sell some snakes, but no...

Fantastic.
Have I mentioned I already hate 2013?
This year was SUPPOSED to be better than 2012...but so far...

-Me