I went to the Renaissance Festival today and had a blast. It's been so long since i've actually gone out and done something. That made it even more fun when I got there. The first thing we did was going and do the castle tour.



Going through the tour was pretty cool, but what made it for me were all of the people working there who had smiles on their faces. It's so much better to go somewhere and see the workers having just as much fun as the customers. After the tour we took a smoke break and my friends and I started acting like fools.




Seeing all the shops and people dressed up was a blast. There was 1 group of people dressed up like characters from One Piece Since it was pirate day and they looked amazing. I wasn't able to get any pictures though because they always had people swarming around them . My favorite act of the day was the knife juggling and throwing. The comedy they mixed in was hilarious and nearly had me falling over. I was so entertained I forgot I even had a camera. The jousting was pretty badass as well

I've been pretty weird the past few days. Last night I watched hours of wedding proposals and people reacting to people telling them they are going to have a baby on youtube. I don't even know why I did, but seriously I spent around 12 hours watching that shit. There were even quite a few that made me tear up. I dwear I must be going nuts. Babies and weddings have even infiltrated and taken my dreams hostage. I can't close my eyes for a minute without thinking about those 2 things. I swear i'm turning into a woman XD. To top everything off i've been listening to cheesy love songs all week. I've been single for over 2 years now and the only things I miss are cuddling and kissing. It's weird that the lack of sex doesn't bother me at all, but the lack of kissing and cuddling just might kill me

I haven't updated my blog in a bit because I haven't had much happen lately. Still nothing much has happened but thought I should still at least share some of the music i've found awesome lately.

The Bunny The Bear




scott matthew



G-DRAGON



BIGBANG

My nephew has pretty much made my whole week. His little laughs and smiles when I play k-pop are sooo damn cute. Yesterday he wouldn't stop crying because he's getting new teeth in and my sister called me and asked for help.



The second I hit the play button he was mesmerized. He just sat there in my lap for almost 2 hours straight giggling and smiling. He has totally reconfirmed that I want to be a dad some day in the future. Especially if they are as awesome as my nephew is

This pretty much sums up how i'm feeling today.

I wrote a new poem tonight because i've been feeling a little off. I don't know if it's sadness creeping up on me or what, but I needed to get a bit off of me chest. So here it is. It's called What If I'm The Monster.


Fed lies so many times it's bent and twisted up the truth.
Swallowed up their ether like it's bringing back my youth.
Choked down the pain so I myself could live another lie.
Anytime i'm cornered I just smile and turn shy.

It's easy to be seen as both quiet and unique.
Never hearing pointed words attack upon the street.
But inside I am shaking, breaking right down to my core.
Wondering if all the people just wish to see the gore.

This thing that's left inside of me just makes me lose my mind.
It makes me run in fear of one day what I may just find.
I know there is a monster that lives inside of me,
But what if i'm the monster who has already been freed.

I'm so relieved to be home tonight. For the past few days i've been babysitting my sister's children while her husband went out of town and she worked. I Think the thing that got my the worst though was their puppy. Every hour on the hour he would bark 2 inches in front of my face until I woke up and then he'd go right back to sleep. So needless to say I haven't gotten more than 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night. I came home completely exhausted and realized that I had only eaten once the whole time I was there. Dealing with 3 kids who are 2, 4, and 7 is definitely a hand full.

I want to start writing more poetry again since I've been too busy to write here lately, but I have no idea what I want to write about. My family messes with me because almost all of my poems come out sad or any emotion that isn't happy. Every time I try to write about something happy it almost always turns out cheezy. Even though i'm a happy guy and have plenty of things to be happy about, I still find it easier to describe sadness and terrible situations. I got so used to seeing how other people became so twisted and evil when I was helping others deal with their situations that the sight of them is forever burned into my mind.

Seeing and living through the darkness that enveloped all of those around me made it even easier to draw on those raw emotions to write. Happiness can be described as light, love, caring, but it can easily be masked by others. Darkness, evil, and sadness I feel are much heavier emotions and invoke more power than the others. You can be as happy as one person can be, but a single word or action can make it all crumble and leave someone cracked and broken. Vacant inside until they either feel nothing at all or become the darkness itself. Well enough of my rambling. I hope everyone is doing well out there

I've been sick the past few days and it was hell. I'm mostly feeling better now. Everyone in my family is dealing with it now that i've gotten over it. I finally dyed my hair back to my natural color. I figured i'll give my hair a break for a while so I don't completely fry it XD



Everything else seems to be going well around here. My mom started going back to work today, but she's going to be sore as hell once she gets home. My sister is supposed to be moving back out in about a month. She finally found a house she likes and now they are just waiting for the bank to finalize everything before they leave.

I went to Artwerks studios today and got a new tattoo.



I'm happy with how it turned out, but now it makes me want to hurry and finish my chest piece

Well I probably won't be recording any more songs until I set up a studio myself. The guy that was helping me quit talking to me out of the blue so there's not much I can do there. My mom will be fully healed from her surgery in a little less than 2 weeks. She has healed really fast so far and the doctors are really happy with that. I may not have to look for a job anymore because my sister is going to pay me to babysit her baby. Things are slowly falling into place and I dont really have anything to complain about. I hope everyone else is doing great as well