This will most likely be my last blog post as my account expires next month and I cannot justify the $48/year with the community being what it is now.

After reading some of the threads in the CE boards and groups, I am really sad to see what this place has become. I now understand why so many aren't renewing their memberships.

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People you interface with (whether in-person or online) will have different views and opinions than you. When responding to their opinion, there is never an excuse to turn that response into a personal attack. You simply state your view/opinion and possibly reasons to support why you've come to that view or opinion. That's it.

Share information - not hate.

Hopefully, everyone realizes there is room for improvement with who we are. We are responsible for that regardless of our pasts.

Cool, it's starting to actually feel like spring - finally!

So update, we recently switched apartments in our building. It splits at the front door. It has one side for our living area and the other side is a studio. It was built in 1909 and has hardwood floors throughout. Before we moved furniture in, we were totally thinking "roller derby" but...yeah. We really love this building...it has so much character.

The original plan was to open a small photography studio downtown but the way things are going, it just didn't make any financial sense. Besides, this winter has been a bit of a struggle financially as most of the paid work I've been doing is family portrait work. I know...it's not cool or hip - but it's paying bills.

I did happen to shoot my first jewelry catalog for a local jeweler:

That was pretty cool but stressful.

So since I've been doing mostly family portrait work, I have to tone down my regular site and making it more "G-rated." Man, you know you live in a conservative town when people call tasteful nudes "filth." Oh well.

It's wedding season and as much as I bitch about it - it does pay some pretty good money. First wedding of the season tomorrow. What will I forget to bring? Yay...stress.

Ha...I'm in a dorky mood. And I have to finish putting this frosted window dressing on the windows so people can't peer into our place like they do.

Winterizing.

OK, so lots of changes. I moved from Liberty Lake, WA to the downtown Spokane area.

Now, from a snooty point of view, this was a "downgrade." I can see where some would consider that a downgrade. To me, it was a bit more freedom.

Freedom from the financial difficulties of spending more money to live in an area that I couldn't really justify. My neighbors were very successful financially - but were living in the 50s when it comes to social views.

I moved to a building built in 1910 or so. It has a shitload of character. Hardwood floors, a fireplace, but almost no kitchen space....ha, and I love to cook! Oh well, I am working with it.

So yeah, the winter part. I guess they weren't really up on winterizing back in the early part of last century. I need to head out to Lowe's and get materials to insulate the windows.

Oh, dating a new girl. She is pretty effin' cool, intelligent, and deep. More on that later.

I'm getting some thoughts together and as soon as I'm a bit more settled in - I'll write something a little deeper.

Stay warm,

John

After dealing with some situations arising from personal experiences this past week, I felt it necessary to write this...

Dear judgmental person,

I know you well. I have been you most of my life - no matter how much I want to deny it. I sometimes find myself slipping back into that person at times but am thankful that I either catch myself, or one of those I'm close to catches me.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I don't hate you. I can completely empathize with who you are but there comes a time where you have to take responsibility for who you have become in life and decide whether or not that is really who you WANT to be.

There is nobody "beneath" you; for any reason. Not one single person was able to choose where they were born, what color they are, what physical features they have, or who their parents are. You cannot judge them for these things ever. If you feel you still HAVE to judge.....then judge them for things they CAN change (or have control over such as personality traits or a really bad hat).

Their worst problems are no different than your worst problems. They may not be identical - but that doesn't matter...it doesn't change the fact that it is a problem for that person.

Also, just because something isn't right for you - it doesn't mean it isn't right for someone else. Accept the fact that people cannot base their lives on what others expect of them. They will never be happy. Is it fair to expect someone to waste their life (no matter how little or how much) to get either yours, their parents', or even society's approval? Fuck no. That is pure misery.

As far as someone's sexuality; why do you care what they are into? Do you think anyone chooses what they are attracted to? I'm convinced that we cannot. Why would you further insult me because I accept them? Why are you so threatened by people who are attracted to different things than you? Why can't you be secure enough with who you are and your own sexuality to just accept others for who they are?

You see, this world doesn't have to be so shitty. We actually choose to let it be this shitty. We choose to do nothing about it. We justify or overlook our own bad habits yet point fingers at everyone else.

Just try something: find two people this month who have had problems that you have encountered and resolved - whether they were resolved solely by you or with help. Just seek them out and offer your help. It doesn't matter if you help them for a few minutes, a few hours, days, weeks.....whatever. Just put a little effort into them. Make them realize that they, like all of us, have problems. Problems that we can't always fix on our own. Sometimes it's because we don't have the skills - other times it's because they either can't recognize them or are too overwhelmed to take them on by themselves. I know you can relate. Every single one of us can. We aren't better than anyone else. You have to keep realizing that.

If you can't find the energy or motivation to help two people, then just try with one. Make sure it's someone who WANTS help....otherwise, your energy will have been wasted.

Again, I hope you realize that I don't hate you....I am just frustrated with your ignorance but I still believe you are worth the energy it took to write this.

If you ever wish to discuss this further, I promise I will put forth the energy and time to discuss it with you.

John

Moving.

Well, we made the "smart" decision to overlap out places for two weeks - meaning we're in two locations at once. The idea was to give us plenty of time so we wouldn't get pressed at the end.

My biggest concern is my fish tanks. One's a reef tank and the other is a seahorse tank (which is down to just one seahorse because I haven't been doing tank maintenance nearly as frequently as I need to...I'm sick and kept the other two dead seahorse bodies and dried them out because I plan on gluing them to frames as decorations). So I just got back from the new place where I started prepping salt water (deionized) for the new location...and in my mind, that has "bought me more time."

So yeah, the plan was to move s-l-o-w-l-y but we have both found that we're just getting better and better at procrastinating this whole thing. We have until the 1st of April to have everything done but we have plans over the weekend so I finally "cracked" and invited (OK, begged) my friends to come over this afternoon so I'd just get it done.

I think the next time we move, we're just going to hire people. I seriously suck at being motivated to pack and/or move.

Holy crap I need to update more frequently. I just haven't had a tremendous amount of time to dedicate towards SG (or anything online) lately.

Some of the stuff that has made SG less attractive - is the increase in negativity towards others. It's getting pretty fuckin' brutal. Now, I'm totally down for joking at the expense of myself and others , but it's never meant to truly hurt or make someone feel bad. The shit I'm seeing lately is just downright ugly.

I'm hoping everyone was/is just bitchy from winter and will be more mellow as it warms up.

Oh, and yeah, I know I totally need to update my profile pic. It's just that every time I point the camera at myself, I instinctively duck.

I've been working my ass off.....literally. Two jobs. :|

The good news is, it looks like I will be able to open my studio on time in the fall. So yay for that!

ARGH!

Winter is a'comin'. I'm not looking forward to this at all. This will be my third winter in Eastern WA and I am pretty much over the whole "lost in the 50's" mentally of Spokane.

The racism, the lack of open-mindedness, the general stupidity of people here is taking its toll.

That's not to say we don't have some decent friends here....I'm just homesick for both/either CA and FL.

Then there's the weather. We're in for months and months of dirty, dark, gray weather and much of it keeps you from going outside unless it's absolutely necessary.

I cannot begin to tell you what that does for your mood and positive outlook. Before moving here, I had heard people talk about depressing weather but never could relate. Until I experienced it, I would think, "Oh, just turn on some bright lights and get a puppy!" or whatever. OK, not serious about the puppy thing...but I really thought of it as a mind-over-matter situation. I was wrong.

I have never lived this far from an ocean in my life and with the combination of "no beach" and "inherent stupidity," it's becoming more and more difficult to remain optimistic about living here.

Why doesn't my retarded ass just move back to CA or FL" you ask? Because my girlfriend is still going through a stupid drawn-out custody battle that has lasted two years. She is still under a temporary parenting plan. As of now, there is no "end in sight" for this whole battle. Viva la WA Family Court System!

We've talked about me moving back to FL and allowing her to continue this court bullshit here, and having her move once she's sorted it out, but I think we'd miss each other too much.

I hate being torn between "doing what's right" and "doing what I feel is best for me"....especially when the first isn't crystal clear.

We've done the long distance relationship before. She lived here in Spokane and I lived in Florida. It was tough then. I can only imagine it would be tougher three years later after feelings have become stronger.

Anyway, I just had to vent. It's extremely gray outside and I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who lives in Naples (OK, Bonita Springs...but close enough). I miss the fuck out of him and the area.

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY.

So a lot has happened since the trade show in Vegas. We used to focus on retailing clothing and costumes to dancers but found that many manufacturers don't consider two very important factors:

1) Not every girl (dancer) fits in a "One Size" costume.
2) Most of the garments aren't easy to take off and put on.

So now we are in design mode. Or more correctly: re-design mode. It's pretty common in this industry for a style to get copied by almost every manufacturer. We're just taking the looks we like and reworking them to suit the customers.

So here's the nightmare: purchasing the equipment to do this puts us in a manufacturing/production role and since there isn't enough business to make it worthwhile locally, we've decided to sell to boutiques and clubs across the country.

So why would they buy from us? Unlike just about every vendor out there, every piece we make will come in three sizes to fit most girls. Every costume will be sold in pieces so they can mix and match tops, bottoms, gloves, leggings, etc to create the costumes that will sell in their area. This way, a girl can get a costume that not only fits her - but is more flattering to her body type.

We won't have any minimums and we've decided to offer a catalog that will allow someone to custom order at their club or boutique. In this catalog, we will print the business' markup (as long as it's either 100%, 150% and 200% because we aren't doing more than three versions) for them so the price the customer/dancer sees is the price she pays the club.

This is a huge financial investment and it will either work out really well....or financially ruin us. Yay!