Member: Gonzo77

Gonzo77 You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of the year

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OCTOBER 3, 2008 @ 02:40 PM | 4 COMMENTS

After last night's debate I had a chance to sit and speak with Veep wannabe Sarah Palin and ask her questions that Dr. Joe Six Pack and Susan "Freedom Fries" Vagina would want to know. Here's the transcript of our meet.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

G77: Mrs. Sarah Palin, Wilkommen! May I call you Count Cuntula?

SP: Oh I just want to say I'm so happy to be here. It is wonderful to finally meet you Mr. Gonzen79 and I wish you a happy new year and all that jazz. Let's give a shout out to my sisters in the nucular party and my dogs (rhymes with hogs) at the 2nd annual Alaska KKK rally.

G77: Mmmm yes. Now the economy is falling apart. Money to banks, bye bye Wamu and Wacovia, joblessness claims up to their highest points in 5 years. What, and please be specific, do you and Senator "Big" John McCanes plan on doing for those average beer drinking, wife beaters out there, that just want to watch American Idol, consume a bunch of crap and vomit in peace?

SP: Oh that's a tough question but being a Maverick I'd say go down to your local hockey rink and support your little kids team, which makes you a good America. I'd also like to point out that under Barack Obama's plan, 90 percent of the population will be exterminated in gas chambers over a 10 year period. That's not change. What a crock, Barack.

G77: Ummm I see. Now the war…

SP: Oh that reminds me of a time up in Alaska when I potty trained my cat. She didn't' get it right so I shot her and fed her to my family.

G77: Yes but the problems of Pakistan and Iraq and…

SP: It's nice being a mom.

G77: Nevermind. Now gay rights. Do you give a shit?

SPshockedoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Good question Bob.

*7 Minute awkward pause*

SP: Oh did you say something?

G77: No bitch. No. So you are pro- life is this not correct? Getting rid of Roe v Wade is a good thing to you and Sen "Little" John McCane-me?

SP: One time up in a Alaska, I was looking at Russia and I was drunk and high on meth because it gets dark for 6 months. And in a low point, I was raped by Jesus. Now if I had a abortion do you think I could have my child of God?

G77: Wow you're creepy. Let's wrap it up with your closing rhetoric and mindless banter

SP: Oh thanks again for having me and thank you Exxon for giving us all the Exxon products you can shovel in your mouth. Try their newest product, Exxon Plus C. The great flavor of Exxon regular but now with Vitamin C. Exxon, it's what's for dinner.
Now…(Clears Throat) Maverick, Maverick, Hockey Mom and Gee Darn. I Maverick with John and Hockey with dang it. Come on now, golly golly with Hockey and Mavericks. Do onto others as other Maverick do towards God. Almighty burning W Bush, Maverick with Satan's Hockey Mom. Lipstick on dogs, with Maverick styled hairdos. I fully maverick moose Alaska oil Russia. Maverick John saw purple mountains terrorist on board. The only thing you have to fear is no news is good news. There you go again, I blew Reagen at the Stanley Cup Finals.
Gee whiz and God Bless America, and I pray everyday, with all of my white-bred heart, that he blesses no one else.

G77: I hope one day you are at a huge party with Bill O'Reilly and IT touches fabric.

SP- You're Super!


SEPTEMBER 28, 2008 @ 07:55 PM | 4 COMMENTS

I automactically feel better after spending a nice weekend with teh Dose, so beer, some vomiting (that was not so much) then ending it with some fun with the band. The cough is going away so hopefully it's time to get on with things. Oh no that means I have to go back to work, NO DICE!
SEPTEMBER 26, 2008 @ 01:19 PM | 7 COMMENTS

You know leave it up to a day home alone with all the time to get things done, and then just waste it getting mopey thinking about the myriad of people that run in and out of life. It all happens so quick, like being in the middle of a party and then then suddenly, where many people stood, the lights are out, things are quiet and the party is over.
It's funny when I'm around people I just want to be left alone, and when I'm alone I just want people to be around me.

frown

SEPTEMBER 25, 2008 @ 05:53 PM | 6 COMMENTS

Ugh I am super sick and have so much to say but my mind is so cluttered I can't figure out what to say first so I'll just say this...







PS- I will start writing soon, details soon!
SEPTEMBER 18, 2008 @ 06:58 PM | 5 COMMENTS

Ok children, I guess I should actually write something for a change. So I was going through my mind, thinking of all the nicknames I've given people and wacky fictional characters I've made up. I thought they were humorous so let me share. There are two kinds: Real, meaning someone i knew and I gave them a name, or fake, which is one just from the mind.

Enjoy:


    D.A.S.(Real) No folks not the German article, rather a fruit loop I used to know that had DAS as his intials. I started calling him it in high school and it stuck. And you could do so many things with it: DAShole, DAStard and even my fave DAS Defferins. Yay

    SEX (Real)- THis was a big boobed girl who we did not know her real name, and she lived upstairs from my best friend. We'd always be like, "Where's Sex?" "Is Sex's Car there?" "Is that Sex's Mom?" Yeah we were lame, but she was nice to us. I wonder if SEX turned into Fat Fugly. Who knows and who cares

    ADOLPH SPONGECAKE (Real) This is what we called the wack job of an ancient grandmother of my best friend. She boiled tv dinners, yelled at us, splayed out on the floor to "stay cool" and took shits in the dark with the door open which freaks you out to discover after running in there at midnight after drinking adn finding a skeleton woman as the lights coming on, pushing out something rank! She must be dead?

    Shit Titless (Real)- So I was high once. And I was giving out names. And my annoying friend's GF was like "Me me, what's mine." And I was high. So I blurted it out, real slowly, not meaning too. She took offense, as did my friend the BF. However the laughter out weighed the hatred, so it's all good.

    Tits (Real) I can't believe this one stuck! This was a fat annoying kid with moobs that bothered everyone. So I started calling him Tits around school. And it stuck and he liked it. I guess any attention is better than none at all.

    The Sexy Ghost (Fiction) So I was high again. And putting on a wobbling warble voice, and making prank calls, saying, "This be the SEXY GHOST and the SEXY GHOST knows about your murders plots and all your plans." He was immortalized in two paintings by the lead singer of the Grinknon band. I asked him to give him to me, but I was denied. THanks dood!

    Bleu Cheese (Real) Ever see a guy eat Bleu Cheese dressing with a fork? Yeah! As someone I know says, "Blue Cheese the food is good, Bleu cheese the person is not.

    Tunis/Tunafish (Kinda Real, kinda not)- Used to know this kid I'd walk home from school with. His grandfather would wait for him as we walked past his house, on the way to mine. He was Tunis. He would scream at me, "HE CAN'T COME OUT AND PLAY YOU SON OF A BITCH." Which you could only laugh. Somehow the Tunis turned into the Tuna Fish between me and my Kung Fu Irish mob friend from the Bronx. Wasn't high even!


    Miriam (Fiction) This was a bitch that we would sing about in our songs and have her killed everytime. They lasted 30 seconds tops, had no female voices, despite Miriam being female and the only music was a two bit sounding casio keyboard pre made little medley. I would also say Miriam, holding the MEEEEER sounding like a whinnying horse. What classics.

    and finally for now:

    The Vaginals (?) My high school noise, rock, goth, industrial crap band. We inspired one rich kid who became our biggest fan. We played our only show in his basement on Halloween. We headlined..and scared the living shit out of everyone. No one said it was bad, rather they said nothing at all. Rock on.


Well hope that was mildly fun, at least you get into my brain and going through it all I realize one thing..I'm a big fucking asshole.

K
THanks
and Bye

SEPTEMBER 8, 2008 @ 06:51 PM | 6 COMMENTS

It is a mad world ain't it? You choose!






EDIT: You Tube is down right now, please come the hell back
SEPTEMBER 7, 2008 @ 06:33 PM | NO COMMENTS

Good Evening:

AUGUST 28, 2008 @ 03:07 PM | 5 COMMENTS

So last night I was at the Brendan Byrne, I mean Continental, I mean IZOD center, and saw the NIN do a fantastic show. Great lighting, performance, sound and gave us our money's worth clocking in at I would guess 2 hours and 15 minutes? (Rough Guess). With his recent "this one's on me" album and the show's he puts on, no one can say they are cheated by Trent Reznor.

Now leaving in the morning with the Dose to see my bestest pals from the west,Katerina and despairxfaction in the "California. So far I know we are going to an Angels game, doing the beach and the Disney land. The rest...I don't care as long as I'm around my good friends and having a blast. See yall on the flippity floppity!
AUGUST 25, 2008 @ 05:07 PM | 5 COMMENTS

Ok I feel bad for making mydogfarted feel old, so this one's for you buddy. Cuz I know you like sexy fish.

AUGUST 24, 2008 @ 06:27 PM | 4 COMMENTS

Meh while I'm here I might as well give you some ear candy!

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