D.A.S.(Real) No folks not the German article, rather a fruit loop I used to know that had DAS as his intials. I started calling him it in high school and it stuck. And you could do so many things with it: DAShole, DAStard and even my fave DAS Defferins. Yay

SEX (Real)- THis was a big boobed girl who we did not know her real name, and she lived upstairs from my best friend. We'd always be like, "Where's Sex?" "Is Sex's Car there?" "Is that Sex's Mom?" Yeah we were lame, but she was nice to us. I wonder if SEX turned into Fat Fugly. Who knows and who cares

ADOLPH SPONGECAKE (Real) This is what we called the wack job of an ancient grandmother of my best friend. She boiled tv dinners, yelled at us, splayed out on the floor to "stay cool" and took shits in the dark with the door open which freaks you out to discover after running in there at midnight after drinking adn finding a skeleton woman as the lights coming on, pushing out something rank! She must be dead?

Shit Titless (Real)- So I was high once. And I was giving out names. And my annoying friend's GF was like "Me me, what's mine." And I was high. So I blurted it out, real slowly, not meaning too. She took offense, as did my friend the BF. However the laughter out weighed the hatred, so it's all good.

Tits (Real) I can't believe this one stuck! This was a fat annoying kid with moobs that bothered everyone. So I started calling him Tits around school. And it stuck and he liked it. I guess any attention is better than none at all.

The Sexy Ghost (Fiction) So I was high again. And putting on a wobbling warble voice, and making prank calls, saying, "This be the SEXY GHOST and the SEXY GHOST knows about your murders plots and all your plans." He was immortalized in two paintings by the lead singer of the Grinknon band. I asked him to give him to me, but I was denied. THanks dood!

Bleu Cheese (Real) Ever see a guy eat Bleu Cheese dressing with a fork? Yeah! As someone I know says, "Blue Cheese the food is good, Bleu cheese the person is not.

Tunis/Tunafish (Kinda Real, kinda not)- Used to know this kid I'd walk home from school with. His grandfather would wait for him as we walked past his house, on the way to mine. He was Tunis. He would scream at me, "HE CAN'T COME OUT AND PLAY YOU SON OF A BITCH." Which you could only laugh. Somehow the Tunis turned into the Tuna Fish between me and my Kung Fu Irish mob friend from the Bronx. Wasn't high even!


Miriam (Fiction) This was a bitch that we would sing about in our songs and have her killed everytime. They lasted 30 seconds tops, had no female voices, despite Miriam being female and the only music was a two bit sounding casio keyboard pre made little medley. I would also say Miriam, holding the MEEEEER sounding like a whinnying horse. What classics.

and finally for now:

The Vaginals (?) My high school noise, rock, goth, industrial crap band. We inspired one rich kid who became our biggest fan. We played our only show in his basement on Halloween. We headlined..and scared the living shit out of everyone. No one said it was bad, rather they said nothing at all. Rock on.

Well hope that was mildly fun, at least you get into my brain and going through it all I realize one thing..I'm a big fucking asshole.

K
THanks
and Bye