114 days. I am going to have a degree, be an official honours graduate of the University of Saskatchewan. Among other things. That doesn't seem like so very long anymore. 16 weeks and counting down... now THAT seems so incredible short. I'm excited yet terrified, as this all seems so "for real" all of a sudden. 16 weeks, and then my world changes again.
I forgot that I had school today until 2am this morning... ya, I was tired. First day was good tho, I made everything on time... just forgot my brain at home, back in bed. Good thing it's not really required for the first day. Tonight after work I am SO getting my sleep on. The bad part is that as of late, I wake up and I'm sad, like really sad- I don't really want to get up or go do anything. It's very desolate, very alone. I am starting to know why, or part of why, but it doesn't make anything any better. Once I'm up and moving and busy I'm fine, however. Who wants to look at pictures with me and reminisce?
Five days without any alcohol of any kind and two days of being back at the gym, and I already feel 200% better physically. Keep this up, and much random awesomeness ensues.
Everyone should listen to Blindside, if they haven't heard of them already. Fucking amazing band.
"She said what I was supposed to think. Thank God for freedom, Thank God for liberation. (She said) now we are allowed to think. Now we are allowed to feel lust without cute boring love.
But don't you ever just like me, long for purity? Don't you ever get so sick of our territories?
What are you so scared of sister? What made you so afraid to feel? To choose a stone cold liberation... The one thing I hate most about me is the one thing you want to make your trademark. To feel lust without cute boring love.
But don't you ever just like me, long for purity? Don't you ever get so sick of our territories? Don't you ever feel like glass? Fragile, hurting, let it pass. Don't you think its time to tresspass?
But when the fire is gone, who are you? What are you so scared of sister? I'm just as scared as you..."
-Blindside
I forgot that I had school today until 2am this morning... ya, I was tired. First day was good tho, I made everything on time... just forgot my brain at home, back in bed. Good thing it's not really required for the first day. Tonight after work I am SO getting my sleep on. The bad part is that as of late, I wake up and I'm sad, like really sad- I don't really want to get up or go do anything. It's very desolate, very alone. I am starting to know why, or part of why, but it doesn't make anything any better. Once I'm up and moving and busy I'm fine, however. Who wants to look at pictures with me and reminisce?
Five days without any alcohol of any kind and two days of being back at the gym, and I already feel 200% better physically. Keep this up, and much random awesomeness ensues.
Everyone should listen to Blindside, if they haven't heard of them already. Fucking amazing band.
"She said what I was supposed to think. Thank God for freedom, Thank God for liberation. (She said) now we are allowed to think. Now we are allowed to feel lust without cute boring love.
But don't you ever just like me, long for purity? Don't you ever get so sick of our territories?
What are you so scared of sister? What made you so afraid to feel? To choose a stone cold liberation... The one thing I hate most about me is the one thing you want to make your trademark. To feel lust without cute boring love.
But don't you ever just like me, long for purity? Don't you ever get so sick of our territories? Don't you ever feel like glass? Fragile, hurting, let it pass. Don't you think its time to tresspass?
But when the fire is gone, who are you? What are you so scared of sister? I'm just as scared as you..."
-Blindside
New year, new beginnings. So to speak. In actuality, everything from last year has just followed me right along without really changing... but I guess a new journal is one of those "little things" that makes me feel like "ya, its all gonna be alright". Haha... what a nerdo I am. But yes- bye bye diaryland and hello SG. A welcome change.
I think New Year's Resolutions are in order.
1) Start having the time of my life, and make the most of the time I have with people who are important. I'm not gonna be young (ish?) forever.
2) Lighten up on, and maybe even lose the alcohol altogether. It's a little out of control in my mind. I've had enough of being the loud, obnoxious, rude, embarassing, outta control, piece of shit drunk who has to hear about her antics from others the next day to know what went on. I'm tired of blacking out and hurting people I care about for no good reason- I'm better than that. That's not Gin.
3) Chill the fuck out in general. About everything, because life just has to go on and I can't endlessly get my panties in knots about things I can't change. Breathing is good.
4) Hit the gym. Hard. Make up for these christmas holidays of endless abuse to my body. Prepare for good photos... get HAWWWWTTTT again.
5) Kick some serious school ass. Graduate. Boost my average the fuck up as to get myself into nursing school and do something with my life.
6) Make all the hard decisions I've been putting off. If I hurt and cry and have to burn some bridges, so be it. I can't please everyone, but I can follow my heart.
"This time I'm not going to watch myself die."
-The Used
I think New Year's Resolutions are in order.
1) Start having the time of my life, and make the most of the time I have with people who are important. I'm not gonna be young (ish?) forever.
2) Lighten up on, and maybe even lose the alcohol altogether. It's a little out of control in my mind. I've had enough of being the loud, obnoxious, rude, embarassing, outta control, piece of shit drunk who has to hear about her antics from others the next day to know what went on. I'm tired of blacking out and hurting people I care about for no good reason- I'm better than that. That's not Gin.
3) Chill the fuck out in general. About everything, because life just has to go on and I can't endlessly get my panties in knots about things I can't change. Breathing is good.
4) Hit the gym. Hard. Make up for these christmas holidays of endless abuse to my body. Prepare for good photos... get HAWWWWTTTT again.
5) Kick some serious school ass. Graduate. Boost my average the fuck up as to get myself into nursing school and do something with my life.
6) Make all the hard decisions I've been putting off. If I hurt and cry and have to burn some bridges, so be it. I can't please everyone, but I can follow my heart.
"This time I'm not going to watch myself die."
-The Used
