The site said that Oct 31st would be my last day.

I guess it wasn't.

That's okay, it gives me the opportunity to give this place a proper goodbye, I guess.

For a long time I loved this site and many of the people in it. I still love the people. Not so much the site.
I've met some really special people on here, including my girlfriend Beth. She's fantastic.

I've burned bridges on here too, and for that I'm sorry. But that's kind of the way life goes, I guess. Drama happens. I make it, other people make it, etc. I hope everyone is enjoying life.
SG, for right now, for me, represents the last vestiges of some fucked up stuff that I've done in the past. I need to clean up that past and part of that, for me, is leaving.

So again-- I love you people, I love PSW and the new tattoos thread in the tattoo group and Mary Suicide and Suri and I loved Daniel Robert Epstein. Its so sad that he's dead.


But I'm outta here. I hope everyone's doin what makes them happy. By moving here, and as a result getting with Beth, that's what I'm attempting. to be happy.

gobama.

I won't be renewing my account because I don't really have my own computer/ net access anymore.
I love all of you, especially the hot people.

www.myspace.com/gayballs
gayballs.yelp.com
esoessatanico.blogspot.com

I have a facebook but have no idea what the URL is. I'll probably come back sometime but right now I just don't use the site enough.

Thank all of you. I have met many of you and had so, so much fun.

I don't have pictures of the new place!
Not yet anyway.
Here is the view from my window though:


Taken from my bed, with Beth at my side, this is the photograph I took to show my mom that I was doing okay.
I'm sitting at Third Place Books. The author reading finished about an hour (or two) ago and I'm sitting here drinking beer and playing on the internet. Books, beer, the internet, authors, etc. I'm in heaven here. Deb Olin Unferth is the name of the author, she read from her book Vacation. If you want to know how I felt about said book, you're more than welcome to check out my stupid myspace blog.
She was great. Small, cute, friendly. I talked to her about what her book meant to me and she signed my book.

I don't know if that was some bullshit quote she writes for every dude or if she wrote it because I told her that her book broke me. Regardless, I feel kind of nice about it.
Also, kind of like an asshole. I've been acting like anything but a Hero lately. More like a dumb ass.

Last night I saw Jamie Lidell. here's my photo from the experience:


I don't know if the picture will show-- I took it off of facebook.

Anyway, yeah. I'm alive. I moved. I live with a black dude who is a fireman and a personal trainer. He's built like God.

I worked out today. Not how I planned to work out today, but I worked out anyway. the way I planned to work out fell through in a very embarassing and gabriel-style way. I will not describe what happened-- just that I'm embarassed that it did. Then I got very lost. I drove around with my lips in an ugly about-to-cry kind of smear stretch. ridiculous.

Last night I saw the band Why? It was a different show from the Jamie Lidell show. I went to two shows last night. I need to pee from the beer.
And I want more.

I'm in love with Stones Throw records and Warp records these days.
You?

This Welbutrin doesn't have enough kick.

I'm listening to Tool. How exciting. I love this fucking band.
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
I'm in a cafe. the guy's playing it. Fucking loud.
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
So exciting.



Anyway.
I'm moving this week. I found a place.
The best part of being on the internet, besides being able to jerk off (though not in an internet cafe) is the discovery of new music. I'm on myspace right now. I'm listening. I don't know why I'm liking it as much as I am, but I am. I feel decent tonight. The cafe guy gave me a free square thing with all kinds of fruit bits and blah blah blah.

Anyway, I FOUND A PLACE. And here's the link to it. Its a black dude, my new roommate. His name is TeRoi and he seems like a pretty nice dude. Fireman, trainer at the gym, etc. totally buff. has an extra living room, too. it's fucking crazy how much I'll be saving by staying at this dude's place.



Speaking of saving, I went to the gym today and quit. I cancelled my membership. Because ALL-STAR MEMBERSHIP was billing me $65 a month. And that's crazy.
You all already know that, though, because of an earlier blog.

I went up to see Beth last weekend. she's fucked up but not too fucked up to fuck. Which is... not surprising. She's got bruises and bumps and a big cut on her knee and she limps like a (hot) old woman. She also won't sit for extended periods of time, even though I offer to help and carry and walk and lift and clean and blah blah blah. She's a tough lady. I'd hate for her not to be, judging by what she's gone through.



I'm picking her ass up tomorrow and leaving her in my house all of friday while I work. she's gonna be packing up for me all of friday. WOOOO. Knowing her, she'll put my bed on her back and walk it over to the new house (about a mile away. maybe two). rules. so much.

I haven't been reading much lately. but at least I can say I read this:

cover to cover.


I got a 29 cent raise.

Beth was in a car accident. She's hurt. Everyone go give her your love. elizagirl.
I want to be up there so badly but I'd probably lose my job. Fuck.
My beautiful girl is in pain and I can do nothing, I feel like.

the headline reads "Obama rallies Democrats at DNC"
I feel like he rallied the whole fucking country.
I watched that shit last night almost almost almost tearing up.
I'm pretty excited about the whole thing.

Hi, folks. it's been a while.
My roommate spends the evenings after work in front of the computer drinking wine and playing myspace mafia wars. That's okay, because its her computer. But I don't really have one of my own. So here I am, 7am, she'll get up any second now to play mafia wars until work.
oooops. there she is.

have a good labor day

I had to log on to post this. I was googling my gym on my phone while lying in bed right before going to sleep and I came across these photos from a flood last december:


Proper credit when its due: Hunkdujour's flicker

freaky. we had flooding in Miami but it was never CAR DEEP. There's a freakin WHITE TOP OF A CAR IN THAT PARKING LOT.
I, at least, live up the hill from there. But I wonder what I would do about work, trapped on this hill.

Also, I saw the Italian Job remake today. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, being so loyal to the original. But it's an entirely different movie. the only things it they have in common are heists, mini coopers, and the title. That's it.

Okay. Time for bed. Hiya, Bethers. thanks for helping me grocery shop tonight, over the phone.

I've become a bad internet friend.
I don't really have internet access here, so I take advantage of it when I can, I guess.

Thank God for WELBUTRIN. I mean really. I'm off the effexor, finally. No more dizzies or anything. That's over. I've moved on to a GREAT NEW DRUG for me. Welbutrin. Yes.
I've worked out three times this week. this is a new record for me since like... May or something.
So thank you, pills. Probably could have done it without you, but I wouldn't've wanted to.



I've listened to Illmatic in its entirety no less than 5 times this week. It's a beautiful thing. I also listened to 36 Chambers this week, like twice. It's BONKERS! I've never felt so SUBURBAN IN MY LIFE.



Other albums that have ruled my school this week:





Last weekend, Beth was in town. We saw the X-Files movie and it ruled in its silliness. I had a great time. The two of us, in sync, knew when to laugh at the badness. I LOVE THIS ABOUT HER. It's goddamned important. She's also up for anything. Want to go see a monkey art exhibit? WELL ALRIGHT.





Also, my drunken roommate tried to pick an argument with her. Way uncomfortable. ALSO-- Beth can DANCE. And I can't. But I can kind of fake it. She makes it look fucking HOT.

If this blog seems rushed or snarky in any way its because Its 5am and I need sleep. I feel rushed all the time now. I haven't finished a book in weeks. this bothers me (also, the book I'm reading, Portnoy's Complaint, is a mothafuckin BITCH to read right now). I have to work tomorrow, saturday, at 9am or so. I could be there at 8, though.

This week I have not bought cigarettes or fast food or anything from the snack machine. Fuckin crazy

Huh. Ugh.
Hi.
I'm at a show. I don't know anyone here so I'm WRITING A BLOG FROM MY PHONE.
Because I'm a huge winner.

Actually, that's not true. I know the drummer of one of the bands. Torche is that band, and it makes sense that I'd know at least one of them. They're from Miami, after all. The dude saw me and gave me a huge hug, but I'm not entirely sure he knows my name.
Still, I'm in this for the hug.

they're a great fucking band and they're poised to one day own the metal world. If you could call what they do 'metal.'

I can't wait for them to start. Unfortunately I have to wait through Lair of the Minotaur first.

The show starts at ten even though doors were at 8 and I've been here since about 7.
The show's lateness means that I've got time to kill. Also, it means I have to rush home right after the band I'm here to see plays. No staying for Boris, unfortunately.

I can't smoke cigarettes now because I have a wicked case of the shits. I don't wanna worsen that in a place where the nearest bathroom is the kind of place where drunk guys piss and shit all over the toilet seat.

I've been staring into my phone for a solid two hours. Everyone in Miami is asleep. Gay.

Work is hard. But maybe it'll get better?

I'll tell you what's good. Seeing elizagirl on the weekends. When I'm with her, even though we eat A LOT, its still the healthiest I eat during the week. She gives me the weekends to look forward to, and I appreciate the shit out of that.

caca-piss