i wish you would be happy again. i miss you happy.
i'm not like weepy crying, it's just tough seperating everything. you know what i mean. every once in awhile it just hits me that i'm going to be on my own. as exciting as it is, it's scary as fuck.

just remember, everything that is happening to you is for a very good reason. as corny as it sounds, there is a reason to all of it. and one day you'll know what that is. just hang in there. you did a good thing moving there, i promise.

That is sooooo awesome you are going to see Dying Fetus. I am extremely jealous!!!! I hope you have a great time...and I hope your mood changes for the better!!!

Take care cutie.

My possible new place has two bedrooms, so come for a weekend crash in there and see portland and tell powells they need to hire you.

That t-shirt about God's last name is delightful. And I had no idea Lisa Kudrow got her own tv show, last thing I heard she did was American Dad! and she was rather great there. Now, I don't conceive doughnuts and depression being used together but since you do, I hope you'll go back to being happy soon.

Being a bookseller was one of the best job choices I made. Seriously. Life was simple. Sure you had asshole customers once in awhile, but mostly, the books. The smell of the books and the cafe smells all mixed together. Shelf a few, read a few pages, shelf a few, read a few more. The low pay sucks balls, but it is fairly easy to get a management position if you have a decent store.

dude - get out of that funk - life happens the way it does - don't over analyze the past. there are a few things u ask urself to keep going down this road and when the answers change u re-evaluate how to go about making urself satisfied

are u a good person?
what is it that will make u happy?

if the answer to am i a good person is not good enough then fix it, what will make u happy has no time limit either, its what will make me happy right now? ice cream or what will make me happy in 20 years? being a book seller

and stop thinking about ur ex - u and i used to talk alot when we were both still with our ex's - neither of us were happy - try to remember that and bang some one else - come to jersey i'll get u a job as a book seller and have sex w u just to make u smile . . . lol

sorry for the rant i just want u to feel better

You left me FOURTEEN comments, dork. Not six. That 'supplies'! still kills me. And I can't believe how much Alex looks like you up there.

Baby...things are going to get better. You've been through some tremendously hard stuff in the past six months, some of the biggest, most stressful things a person can go through - the ending of a relationship, a big move, a job change. It's understandable that you're strruggling. But you've got some good stuff going on, too, and you've got people who love you, and--fuck that, you've got you. Take really good care of yourself. Eat well, sleep a lot, exercise, be good to yourself and healthy, work hard, do things you enjoy, focus on positive. Be strong. You're gonna be okay.

This may well be the hardest thing you do in your life, this move, this transition. You'll look back, smiling, and say "goddamn, what a huge thing I did. I made it through, and look at me now." Be patient. Believe. Breathe.

And er.... about the "bang someone else, lol". *eyebrow*

♥

This was an intense blog.

There are people in life that you may not always talk to, or rarely communicate with, but think about all the time. I see you around the boards. You are always on my mind. I read your blogs when things are good, or when you write, but don't write anything really. I don't always comment. I figure you know I am reading them.

There are people in life you can absolutely comfortable with, and communicate without doing so in the literal sense. I don't think very many people will understand what I am writing right now. I don't know if you understand it. But I assume you do, and know that I love you.

doughnuts always depress me. i get all excited picking them out, and then when i start eating them i get totally depressed.

no more doughnuts. sex instead ok? its not as depressing. (not usually anyway)

Get some sun maybe? Meditate? Count your blessings?
(PS I dunno if any of that will help but that's what my mom tells me to do when I'm depressed )

It's ALWAYS hard for quite awhile when you move somewhere new (I've lived in like 6 states and 2 countries dude)....but I think if you hang in there you're gonna be happy. I really do.

You should go hike it and see it for yourself!

I live too far (90 miles) from LA, so it's a pretty slim chance. I thought you were in Florida for some reason.

thank you
trying to smile through it...

Cheer up chum.
I miss you, theres this boy at work who looks like you.
You don't live in Florida anymore, weird. You and Florida just seemed to go well, but I say change is always a good thing, I love learning to roll with it!
Have a great day dude.