It seriously hurts my head that I am alive in the year 2012, that I live in the "future" and we are still as a species dealing with shit like this. We are meant to have sorted the simple stuff and be exploring outer space already.

But......to more vital matters......

I warn you, I am an expert at hand to hand combat. I spent many years learning the ways of the old masters through the technology of VHS, a now forgotten art. I am also a master with a katana and even though I made a promise to a princess to never unsheath my blade in battle again, for you, to deafeat you on a field of your choosing, I would break that promise. I would break that heart, for the glory of your life blood upon my blade.

Don't bother to announce your arrival. I will now when you are near.