There are a lot of reasons to hate the Christmas holiday season; deafening marketing, screeching consumers, obnoxious amounts of money that you’re expected to spend, and let’s not forget the pressure to find the inevitable “perfect gift for the man/woman who has everything”. While I do believe that all of this is bullshit, there is one reasonably new reason to hate the Christmas holidays more than all the others: Facebook.
You see, Facebook, and other social media sites, in conjunction with our assholes at all three main 24-hour cable news networks, have turned Christmas into either a time to declare your staunch secularism by refusing to acknowledge the religious nature of the holiday, or an opportunity to become the most belligerently flamboyant Christian since the Spanish Inquisition, depending on which side you’re on.
With little more than a month’s respite between the end of the presidential campaign (or as I call it: “FUCK YOU, YOU WANT TO DESTROY AMERICA BECAUSE YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ME!!!!! Time”) and now, I’m pretty bummed to have just over a month free of vitriolic hatred between what essentially still boils down to conservatives and liberals.
I know the history of the Christmas holiday. I know that plenty of religions throughout the world have celebrated their winter holiday on or around December 25th. I know that December 25th was chosen by the Romans as the big church celebration because it was previously known as Saturnalia, which was too popular a party for the Roman populace to let go of. I also know that the Norse celebrated Yule around that time, which from all accounts was a pretty fucking awesome party (read Bernard Cornwell’s The Last Kingdom for an awesome account of vikings partying their asses off at Yule… in fact, just read all of Bernard Cornwell’s books). All this is true, and I get it, but Christianity had to pick some time to celebrate Christ’s birth, and I figure the dead of winter is as good a time as any.
But we are now experiencing a barrage of media saying either, “America is the biggest Christian nation in the world, so why the hell can’t I say ‘Merry Christmas’?” or “Christmas is stupid because your God is a lie!”. Do we need to do this? Really? First off, let me address the idiotic right-wingers who seem to have a visceral need to feel persecuted.
Nothing, nothing at all, prevents you from saying Merry Christmas. Ever. I know, I know, you’re offended when people don’t share your fervor and commit the unmentionable sin of saying “Happy Holidays”, but let’s pause for just a moment. As America is not, nor ever was, a “Christian nation”, there are many religions here, and many of them have some sort of festival that falls ’round about the same time as Christmas. Not knowing who you’re talking to, but still wanting to be inclusive, you can either say, “Merry Christmas, happy Hanuka, merry Kwanzaa, happy Yule, happy Festivus etc…”, or you can just save time and say “happy Holidays”. Much like my beloved and blessedly time efficient use of the word “yall” to replace the confusing English second-person plural “you” or “you all” or “yous guys”, it just saves time and confusion. Going all militant and saying “Merry Christmas; and I said merry CHRISTMAS because it’s Christmas and it’s all about Jesus!!” just brands you as a confrontational ass-wipe and I will inevitably hurry in the opposite direction. So please understand that there are other religions that are doing things at about the same time and people like to include them.
Now to address the angry, frothing-at-the-mouth atheists or as I refer to them, the Grinch. The perception that these people give off with their non-stop barage of “Christmas is just a continuation of pagan religions that were just as dumb as yours and it’s just further proof that there is no god and when you die that’s the end” is one of not only belligerence that is just as unnecessary as the Christian-supremacy folks, but also one that screams that you just never got invited to the party so now you’re going to light the house on fire. Just as America was never a Christian nation, it was also not an atheist nation. America was founded to be religion-neutral. That means that everyone is free to practice their own religion, or no religion at all. But does that mean that you need to run around trying to remind people that, according to you, death is the end and that life is meaningless? Do you also like to walk around Toys-R-Us telling kids there is no Santa Claus and that one day their parents will die? Seriously, let people have their beliefs. The universe is a vast and wondrous place, and whatever lies beyond it is probably even stranger. Nobody has been able to prove the existence of a God or gods, but nobody can disprove it either. Does it necessarily have to take the shape of any religion’s textual explanation? Absolutely not. But to rule out the possibility of a greater intelligence that has a hand in shaping the universe is just as narrow-minded as to believe that dinosaur bones were put in the ground as a trick from Satan. In short, quit trying to start shit.
All this is to say that nothing quite gets my blood up like passive-aggressive comments about why everyone who doesn’t agree with you is an evil person. Especially in regard to something that should be a fun, joyous time of year. It’s kind of like Disney world; even if you don’t love Disney movies, all you have to do is enjoy the fact that so many other people are having a lot of fun and then before you know if you’re having a great time too. Conversely, if every article of clothing you own has Mickey Mouse on it, you shouldn’t feel the need to stop someone who is wearing a Bugs Bunny t-shirt and chastise them for wearing it at Disney World. Just shut up, both of you, and go ride “It’s a Small World”.
You see, Facebook, and other social media sites, in conjunction with our assholes at all three main 24-hour cable news networks, have turned Christmas into either a time to declare your staunch secularism by refusing to acknowledge the religious nature of the holiday, or an opportunity to become the most belligerently flamboyant Christian since the Spanish Inquisition, depending on which side you’re on.
With little more than a month’s respite between the end of the presidential campaign (or as I call it: “FUCK YOU, YOU WANT TO DESTROY AMERICA BECAUSE YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ME!!!!! Time”) and now, I’m pretty bummed to have just over a month free of vitriolic hatred between what essentially still boils down to conservatives and liberals.
I know the history of the Christmas holiday. I know that plenty of religions throughout the world have celebrated their winter holiday on or around December 25th. I know that December 25th was chosen by the Romans as the big church celebration because it was previously known as Saturnalia, which was too popular a party for the Roman populace to let go of. I also know that the Norse celebrated Yule around that time, which from all accounts was a pretty fucking awesome party (read Bernard Cornwell’s The Last Kingdom for an awesome account of vikings partying their asses off at Yule… in fact, just read all of Bernard Cornwell’s books). All this is true, and I get it, but Christianity had to pick some time to celebrate Christ’s birth, and I figure the dead of winter is as good a time as any.
But we are now experiencing a barrage of media saying either, “America is the biggest Christian nation in the world, so why the hell can’t I say ‘Merry Christmas’?” or “Christmas is stupid because your God is a lie!”. Do we need to do this? Really? First off, let me address the idiotic right-wingers who seem to have a visceral need to feel persecuted.
Nothing, nothing at all, prevents you from saying Merry Christmas. Ever. I know, I know, you’re offended when people don’t share your fervor and commit the unmentionable sin of saying “Happy Holidays”, but let’s pause for just a moment. As America is not, nor ever was, a “Christian nation”, there are many religions here, and many of them have some sort of festival that falls ’round about the same time as Christmas. Not knowing who you’re talking to, but still wanting to be inclusive, you can either say, “Merry Christmas, happy Hanuka, merry Kwanzaa, happy Yule, happy Festivus etc…”, or you can just save time and say “happy Holidays”. Much like my beloved and blessedly time efficient use of the word “yall” to replace the confusing English second-person plural “you” or “you all” or “yous guys”, it just saves time and confusion. Going all militant and saying “Merry Christmas; and I said merry CHRISTMAS because it’s Christmas and it’s all about Jesus!!” just brands you as a confrontational ass-wipe and I will inevitably hurry in the opposite direction. So please understand that there are other religions that are doing things at about the same time and people like to include them.
Now to address the angry, frothing-at-the-mouth atheists or as I refer to them, the Grinch. The perception that these people give off with their non-stop barage of “Christmas is just a continuation of pagan religions that were just as dumb as yours and it’s just further proof that there is no god and when you die that’s the end” is one of not only belligerence that is just as unnecessary as the Christian-supremacy folks, but also one that screams that you just never got invited to the party so now you’re going to light the house on fire. Just as America was never a Christian nation, it was also not an atheist nation. America was founded to be religion-neutral. That means that everyone is free to practice their own religion, or no religion at all. But does that mean that you need to run around trying to remind people that, according to you, death is the end and that life is meaningless? Do you also like to walk around Toys-R-Us telling kids there is no Santa Claus and that one day their parents will die? Seriously, let people have their beliefs. The universe is a vast and wondrous place, and whatever lies beyond it is probably even stranger. Nobody has been able to prove the existence of a God or gods, but nobody can disprove it either. Does it necessarily have to take the shape of any religion’s textual explanation? Absolutely not. But to rule out the possibility of a greater intelligence that has a hand in shaping the universe is just as narrow-minded as to believe that dinosaur bones were put in the ground as a trick from Satan. In short, quit trying to start shit.
All this is to say that nothing quite gets my blood up like passive-aggressive comments about why everyone who doesn’t agree with you is an evil person. Especially in regard to something that should be a fun, joyous time of year. It’s kind of like Disney world; even if you don’t love Disney movies, all you have to do is enjoy the fact that so many other people are having a lot of fun and then before you know if you’re having a great time too. Conversely, if every article of clothing you own has Mickey Mouse on it, you shouldn’t feel the need to stop someone who is wearing a Bugs Bunny t-shirt and chastise them for wearing it at Disney World. Just shut up, both of you, and go ride “It’s a Small World”.
DEC 13, 2012 07:56 AM
DEC 13, 2012 08:06 AM
