Seems like its been a while...I guess it has. Same shit different day though. Having fun playing solitare with this nail pounded through my dick. Maybe I'll come back here when I have something to say.
My car just broke down.
Leak in the radiator dripping on the starter car go boom or some such bullshit. -$850.00
Wheel bearings about to go - $300-600
So over a grand on a car with 120k miles that I beat the shit out of? I think its time for a new car. I have 200 dollars in savings and less in my bank account, and I have yet to find a reasonable place to live. On the plus side I rather enjoy coming here to bitch about it.
Don't ever believe that 'you need a hobby' bullshit either, im lifting and learning the guitar, and its fun but its no substitute for a real life.
Don't ever doubt the stupidity of friends in love either. A lesson I'm learning the full breadth of day by day. One of my friends is a reckless moron without a girl, and the other is obsessive with the one he's got. Another was about to move in with his girlfriend, thank god she broke up with him beforehand, cuz believe you me that've been ugly.
What it all adds up to is the same shit different day though. And that fact is as frustrating as anything I've listed previously.
Did I mention theres an ant crawling on my leg?
Seems like I've been here before, and if I repeat myself its because this bears repeating, but this summer is gonna get ugly. Uglier than that picture of me that im forced to stare at every time I make a journal entry.
I get kind of negative when I do this journal thing, my way of venting, gotta vent my bitterness somewhere, cuz god knows theres plenty to go around.
Wherever I go, there I am.
The Pixies(Debaser, Hey, Bone Machine, Velouria, Where is my mind) and Social Distortion(Ball and Chain, I Was Wrong, Sickboys)
Leak in the radiator dripping on the starter car go boom or some such bullshit. -$850.00
Wheel bearings about to go - $300-600
So over a grand on a car with 120k miles that I beat the shit out of? I think its time for a new car. I have 200 dollars in savings and less in my bank account, and I have yet to find a reasonable place to live. On the plus side I rather enjoy coming here to bitch about it.
Don't ever believe that 'you need a hobby' bullshit either, im lifting and learning the guitar, and its fun but its no substitute for a real life.
Don't ever doubt the stupidity of friends in love either. A lesson I'm learning the full breadth of day by day. One of my friends is a reckless moron without a girl, and the other is obsessive with the one he's got. Another was about to move in with his girlfriend, thank god she broke up with him beforehand, cuz believe you me that've been ugly.
What it all adds up to is the same shit different day though. And that fact is as frustrating as anything I've listed previously.
Did I mention theres an ant crawling on my leg?
Seems like I've been here before, and if I repeat myself its because this bears repeating, but this summer is gonna get ugly. Uglier than that picture of me that im forced to stare at every time I make a journal entry.
I get kind of negative when I do this journal thing, my way of venting, gotta vent my bitterness somewhere, cuz god knows theres plenty to go around.
Wherever I go, there I am.
The Pixies(Debaser, Hey, Bone Machine, Velouria, Where is my mind) and Social Distortion(Ball and Chain, I Was Wrong, Sickboys)
For the most part my dreams are pretty forgettable and, as near as I can tell, pointless. Occasionally however my mind decides to fuck with me and really give me something to chew on. Every once in a while I have the dreams that I never want to wake from. For a brief instant inbetween waking up and still being in the dream you have the most incredible feeling of wholeness and happiness. Then of course I'm awake and want nothing more than to be back in the dream or to be dead.
For some reason I relate to the Fight Club quotes at times like this, the little excerpt "I wanted to breathe smoke." Just keeps coming back to me, I haven't seen the movie in a while so maybe its all in my head but the way he says that hits how I feel on the head. Its not self-pity, but its the first word that comes to mind.
This summer definetly sucks ass.
For some reason I relate to the Fight Club quotes at times like this, the little excerpt "I wanted to breathe smoke." Just keeps coming back to me, I haven't seen the movie in a while so maybe its all in my head but the way he says that hits how I feel on the head. Its not self-pity, but its the first word that comes to mind.
This summer definetly sucks ass.
Son of a bitch, I just want a fucking place to live. I'm tired of getting raped for rent, my roommates are really starting to chafe and I have no where to go. I could've lived with a friend, but her boyfriend, my friend, and my roommate shot it down. Gotta go find out what the fuck his deal is.
If he wont budge on it im relegated to the dorms at Des Moines Area Community College, which is not exactly where I'd like to be. I'd be getting raped at $325 a month for a clean nice but really fucking small place. They are absolutly nazi about alcohol and drugs, and they do random room checks to make sure your room is up to fucking par. Did I mention no smoking? I don't want to be mean or anything, but DMACC is not exactly full of the nations best and brightest.
I'm all pissed off now, luckily this is a pornography site, so...yeah.
If he wont budge on it im relegated to the dorms at Des Moines Area Community College, which is not exactly where I'd like to be. I'd be getting raped at $325 a month for a clean nice but really fucking small place. They are absolutly nazi about alcohol and drugs, and they do random room checks to make sure your room is up to fucking par. Did I mention no smoking? I don't want to be mean or anything, but DMACC is not exactly full of the nations best and brightest.
I'm all pissed off now, luckily this is a pornography site, so...yeah.
Man im sick of being harped at for my issues. One of my buddies sees me as his little social reclamation project. Like he's gonna get me to go out and party and meet people and all the sudden I'll be captain fucking cool. It's gotten to the point where even though he's my friend I'd rather be wrong on my own terms than right on his. Methinks its time to get away from him for a while. Just annoys me that he's the one person I've ever told anything deeply personal and he thinks that if I just do what he says my problems will vanish. The thing that really kills me is that I can sit here and wonder whether he's being a dick or I am.
Sidenote: Don't be a dick and driveoff with gas, the cashier ends up paying for it out of her pocket or with her job.(At Casey's, where I work anyway, they do.)
I got nothing for now, I'll pull a double-header today though...go home and grab my camera, upload some pictars of me (
)
Sidenote: Don't be a dick and driveoff with gas, the cashier ends up paying for it out of her pocket or with her job.(At Casey's, where I work anyway, they do.)
I got nothing for now, I'll pull a double-header today though...go home and grab my camera, upload some pictars of me (
)
JANUARY 2010
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