Thursday the 25th of June 7.00 pm UK time (11.00 am West coast America) I am walking around Meadowhall shopping centre...http://www.meadowhall.co.uk/website/ with no real purpose and I wander into HMV.
I pick up a greatest hits CD by yes, you guessed it Michael Jackson, it's £7, it would be great in my car, boost me on my long trips to work etc, but nah, I talk myself out of it.
Two hours later 9.00 pm UK and 1.00 pm in L.A. I am back home ( I didn't mention the nearly bought CD thing) and my wife tells me that one of her colleagues has managed to get tickets to see a MJ concert in London, I say fuck it, lets us try and get tickets, put the cost on a credit card or something, the subject gets dropped and we go to sleep very soon after, oblivious.
You can guess the rest.
My brain and emotions are fragile and fucked up enough from a massive year of psychotherapy training, I now feel even more warped.
Bizzarely though I am highly inspired and immensely thankful for my life and the things I can do and do with it.
Ian x
p.s. Spare hug anybody?
I pick up a greatest hits CD by yes, you guessed it Michael Jackson, it's £7, it would be great in my car, boost me on my long trips to work etc, but nah, I talk myself out of it.
Two hours later 9.00 pm UK and 1.00 pm in L.A. I am back home ( I didn't mention the nearly bought CD thing) and my wife tells me that one of her colleagues has managed to get tickets to see a MJ concert in London, I say fuck it, lets us try and get tickets, put the cost on a credit card or something, the subject gets dropped and we go to sleep very soon after, oblivious.
You can guess the rest.
My brain and emotions are fragile and fucked up enough from a massive year of psychotherapy training, I now feel even more warped.
Bizzarely though I am highly inspired and immensely thankful for my life and the things I can do and do with it.
Ian x
p.s. Spare hug anybody?
Hello boys and girls, sorry for the blank blog yesterday glitch after glitch you see.
I havn't posted lately because I get paranoid about writing the same old, same old.
Thought I'd share with you though an amazing experience that I had the other day though....
...I was born with a curved spine which over the years affected my left foot
more and more, I walked with crutches for 17 years although after terrific surgery in 2000 I walk un-aided now.
All this means I have to wear "special shoes"
and I am very grateful for these indeed, but I can't just go to a shop and buy shoes, I know, so what, but it would be nice.
However, the other day Mrs.Forcefield suggested I try on one of her Crocs, ......theres no point I said, they will just come off as I walk, she insisted and well, well, well, it didn't come off even if I tried to shake it off!
Amazing! I have found other footwear that doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable or come off!
So, I am now the proud owner of..........
I know this might sound trivial but it's been a really big deal for me!
I'm off to buy a third pair after I get paid!
Well, til next time, be real won't you!
FF xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I havn't posted lately because I get paranoid about writing the same old, same old.
Thought I'd share with you though an amazing experience that I had the other day though....
...I was born with a curved spine which over the years affected my left foot
more and more, I walked with crutches for 17 years although after terrific surgery in 2000 I walk un-aided now.All this means I have to wear "special shoes"
and I am very grateful for these indeed, but I can't just go to a shop and buy shoes, I know, so what, but it would be nice.However, the other day Mrs.Forcefield suggested I try on one of her Crocs, ......theres no point I said, they will just come off as I walk, she insisted and well, well, well, it didn't come off even if I tried to shake it off!
Amazing! I have found other footwear that doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable or come off!
So, I am now the proud owner of..........
I know this might sound trivial but it's been a really big deal for me!
I'm off to buy a third pair after I get paid!
Well, til next time, be real won't you!
FF xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My Dad always used to say "Forcefield (I was young FF back then) you don't know when to keep your mouth shut "
He was right and still is.
Why am I saying this? Well, the gig, in Houston, yes Houston TX, might, be, on!
I couldn't contain it see.
Got message late last night, confirmation next few days apparantly.
Anybody got any tips on staying calm?????
FF x
He was right and still is.
Why am I saying this? Well, the gig, in Houston, yes Houston TX, might, be, on!
I couldn't contain it see.
Got message late last night, confirmation next few days apparantly.
Anybody got any tips on staying calm?????
FF x
Well last Thursday was a momentous day, the for sale sign finally went up outside my house!
I was going frikin' ape shit with joy!
It has taken some effort ship-shaping the house up to put it on the market, but it's done now thank goodness.
Funnily enough I feel that the for sale sign is more than just a notice that you can buy this house, it feels like a message to the world that I'm moving on, moving up and moving out of this town even in this economic climate.
Hope that doesn't sound ridiculous.
I can't wait for the change of scenery and environment, I am a little worried that I'm moving to an area that is mainly countryside although I think the therapeutic qualities will out weigh anything else.
I have 12 days clear from work from next Weds onwards and I am aiming to have a purge on my second semester work, it will be around 18-19,000 words but in some ways that will be easier than the 13,000 from semester one and I do feel really encouraged by passing the first semester.
There have been so many transitions lately that I'm not sure how I've held eveything together although I do believe that we are much stronger, resilient and capable than we think we are.
Anyway, time to get dressed up and drink, relax and reflect.
Empathically, FF. xxx
I was going frikin' ape shit with joy!
It has taken some effort ship-shaping the house up to put it on the market, but it's done now thank goodness.
Funnily enough I feel that the for sale sign is more than just a notice that you can buy this house, it feels like a message to the world that I'm moving on, moving up and moving out of this town even in this economic climate.
Hope that doesn't sound ridiculous.
I can't wait for the change of scenery and environment, I am a little worried that I'm moving to an area that is mainly countryside although I think the therapeutic qualities will out weigh anything else.
I have 12 days clear from work from next Weds onwards and I am aiming to have a purge on my second semester work, it will be around 18-19,000 words but in some ways that will be easier than the 13,000 from semester one and I do feel really encouraged by passing the first semester.
There have been so many transitions lately that I'm not sure how I've held eveything together although I do believe that we are much stronger, resilient and capable than we think we are.
Anyway, time to get dressed up and drink, relax and reflect.
Empathically, FF. xxx
Cool, found out today that I passed my first semester in my Psychotherapy training! 13,000 words in five assignments all passed and one was marked with a B which is not bad at Masters degree level!
I wanted to share this 'cos I havn't half ranted on about how demanding the training has been.
It's given me a well needed boost to complete semester two.
Other news, I mentioned recently that I want to put together an electronic duo, well I'm meeting a singer on Saturday so I really hope that goes well.
Still waiting to see if a potential June gig in Houston for another music project is gonna come off, although I had better find my passport before anything else!
OK, sorry I don't write all that often, I get preoccuied that I'll just be writing the same old shit.
Anyway, have a wonderful weekend!
Love, FF. xxx
I wanted to share this 'cos I havn't half ranted on about how demanding the training has been.
It's given me a well needed boost to complete semester two.
Other news, I mentioned recently that I want to put together an electronic duo, well I'm meeting a singer on Saturday so I really hope that goes well.
Still waiting to see if a potential June gig in Houston for another music project is gonna come off, although I had better find my passport before anything else!
OK, sorry I don't write all that often, I get preoccuied that I'll just be writing the same old shit.
Anyway, have a wonderful weekend!
Love, FF. xxx
No comments on my last blog! Mother effing charming! My paranoia is through the roof!
Only kidding, don't comment then, see if I care!
Came accross this again yesterday sorry if you've already heard it, edit the God bit if you're atheist.
Lovesssssssss FF. xxx
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us
It's not just the same of us
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others
Powerful 'eh.
Only kidding, don't comment then, see if I care!
Came accross this again yesterday sorry if you've already heard it, edit the God bit if you're atheist.
Lovesssssssss FF. xxx
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us
It's not just the same of us
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others
Powerful 'eh.
So, justification for not writing anything here for ten days, I have nothing interesting to say....!
Although the longer you leave it the harder it seems to get (ahem) so anyway you guessed it my training is still rock hard definately not for the meek, I am still writing loads of music and lyrics ( like upto 6/7 complete songs per week) and can you believe it our house will go on the market soon.
I know that there can't have been a worse time to try and sell your house in the history of the world but hey we're gonna try.
So the training, the commuting, preparing to sell the house has really dominated things I freaked out ten days ago and had to drink Leffe
with rum chasers to just get some perspective on things, after four or was it five I resolved that I can do this (pass the course etc)
Oh, one thing I'm looking for a female singer for a electro duo idea I have. I'm so sure that the idea is a winner, I've advertised for months with only 5 or 6 replies and, well, call me paranoid but I'm sure that when I tell them how old I am they dis-engage.
If I'm right I think it both bloody charming and quite sad really.
However, if I don't find somebody soon I think i will do it myself although teaming up with
Tubesound could be on the cards, we'll see.
Right, if you havn't already sensed it this blog is ending soon.
Here's a quote I love and believe to be true..."When you have gone so far you feel like you can't take one more step, you've only gone half as far as your capable of"
Love:Force xxx
Although the longer you leave it the harder it seems to get (ahem) so anyway you guessed it my training is still rock hard definately not for the meek, I am still writing loads of music and lyrics ( like upto 6/7 complete songs per week) and can you believe it our house will go on the market soon.
I know that there can't have been a worse time to try and sell your house in the history of the world but hey we're gonna try.
So the training, the commuting, preparing to sell the house has really dominated things I freaked out ten days ago and had to drink Leffe
with rum chasers to just get some perspective on things, after four or was it five I resolved that I can do this (pass the course etc)
Oh, one thing I'm looking for a female singer for a electro duo idea I have. I'm so sure that the idea is a winner, I've advertised for months with only 5 or 6 replies and, well, call me paranoid but I'm sure that when I tell them how old I am they dis-engage.
If I'm right I think it both bloody charming and quite sad really.
However, if I don't find somebody soon I think i will do it myself although teaming up with
Tubesound could be on the cards, we'll see.
Right, if you havn't already sensed it this blog is ending soon.
Here's a quote I love and believe to be true..."When you have gone so far you feel like you can't take one more step, you've only gone half as far as your capable of"
Love:Force xxx
