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FistFuck My skin is chewy.

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Thursday

JANUARY 24, 2008 @ 08:02 PM

My NiteRunner is out of town. The advertising company he works for is doing some sort of a retreat at a ranch in Bandera, Tx. They are supposed to do some sort of activities to help with whatever and then at night there is a bar there that they apparently all go drink at. Needless to say I am not doing well. I have a hard time trusting men... every man that i have known in my adult life has cheated at one point or another. Including my ex-husband who cheating on my quite a few times. NiteRunner is ofcourse the exception... he has never cheated on anyone... (plus he is a college graduate and extremely intelligent and talented!

) but what worries me is I was only the second person he had ever slept with (the time before was only once and in high school) and I am his first real girlfriend... so i have to be kidding myself to think that he would end up with me... right? What guy ends up with their first real girlfriend? He works in a company of women... i think its like 4 guys and like 30 women... yup. He claims they dont want him because he is young (22) and they are all older... needless to say i explained to him that older women (shockingly) do like younger guys! zing!

Well its 10pm now... im guess they are probably drinking at the bar. He didnt want to go at all... and he told me he wasnt going to do the bar thing... but i havent talked to him since 9:30 AM

.... so i guess who knows whats going on. He said he would call me back and i guess i dont want to bother him.

I will probably delete this blog later... enough of my self-pity. why cant i trust men????

btw... go comment on my shit!
My newly rejected set went up.... im rather fond of this one... please show it love!!!!

rpg

Regina, SK

April 2005

JAN 24, 2008 08:32 PM

I don't know what to tell you. I certainly understand why you have a hard time trusting men, based upon your history. (((((hugs)))))

I've been on these corporate retreats......99.9999999% of the time, NOTHING at all happens. In some companies, fraternization between employees is against their code of ethics and both parties could be fired. Might want to check this companies code of ethics?

Revolutionary

Las Vegas, NV

December 2002

JAN 24, 2008 09:04 PM

<3 new set.

trocc

Chicago, IL

March 2003

JAN 24, 2008 09:16 PM

hello, lady... my guess is you needn't worry yourself too much about the situation. chances are high that he wishes he was with you instead already.

to what do i owe the friend request? had you been psychically aware of me looking at that new set of yours?

aldremech

Tucson, AZ

July 2006

JAN 24, 2008 09:26 PM

I have had trust issues for too damn long myself, having been cheated on in most of my relationships. I have faith though that eventually someone decent will show up and prove me wrong. I think you already have found your decent person.

Your new set is so beautiful. I am saddened by it's rejection

Aeryka

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

JAN 24, 2008 09:29 PM

too bad in illinois you cant smoke in them anymore. me and friends used to sit there till the wee hours of the morning smoking, playin cards, talking, bullshitting, eating food, and occasionally getting in trouble.

james13

Dallas, TX

August 2005

JAN 25, 2008 01:22 AM

With all that has happened to you with men in the past being worried is understandable, but you have to remember how you two came to be together and have faith in him. You have a decent guy there and you just have to trust that he is the right person just as you did back in March.

Love the new set very much.

thejohne

Jacksonville, FL

October 2006

JAN 25, 2008 05:50 AM

don't sweat it, the past is the past. you gotta accept what is until proven otherwise.......plus, he's got a good one

TatianaDanielle

Germany

November 2007

JAN 25, 2008 11:35 AM

I think its beautiful too

Infinity

Wyckoff, NJ

June 2004

JAN 26, 2008 04:10 PM

I wouldn't worry much about him - he doesn't seem into the idea of going to the bar so he's prolly not going to want to stay there and would leave early or something. It's certainly difficult for you to not worry about it due to past events, but over time your trust in him will grow...

Till then try not to worry about it too much.

sodome

East York, ON

November 2003

JAN 27, 2008 09:25 AM

He HAS 'ended up' with you.
Success!! Do you give yourself credit for the successes? For the fact that you found each other, and that you've already had good times together?

Is the point really to be able to say on your deathbed that you kept him with you and you only (and that therefore you won)? By that kind of measure, there's no celebration until you get to the finish line. Wouldn't it be more satisfying to enjoy time you have together without measuring the duration of your relationship against some always-retreating perfect goal?

I get that you've come to expect the men you're with to break their commitments. That's sad.
It'd be sadder if you got so caught up in waiting for the failure that you didn't let yourself notice anything else...

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