Argh! I am cursed by the financial gods of credit. I just opened a letter from my credit card company (which shall remain anonymous) with the following opening:

It is never easy to bring unpleasant news to one of our valued customers. However, upon one of our periodic account reviews, we have determined that it is necessary to lower the credit limit on your Wells Fargo credit card account. Your new credit limit, listed above, is effective immediately.

Blah, blah, fucking blah! So after soiling myself upon finding my credit limit slashed to nearly a third it's total value, I finally gathered my wits and thought that there must be some kind of mistake... Well it took me a while to figure out why my credit rating had just taken a destructive hit akin to a full cannon broadside from a captured Spanish war galleon manned by bunch of scurvy pirates, lusting for blood and treasure...

A STUDENT LOAN

Ok, first, let me tell you that this loan is well over 10 years old. The funny thing is that I haven't been paying (nor have I been required to pay it) for quite some years now. My simple (and understandable) reason is that in some form or another I've been able to differ the loan at no interest because I've been enrolled in some form of education. It's really quite simple to defer, you simply enroll in a class and presto, the loan is instantly suspended in a hermetically sealed time capsule, with no paperwork required, in effect it ceases to exist... Well sort of.

Over the years I've moved around a bit, changed phone numbers, gotten a hair cut and even managed to pay off a 5 year loan for over $10,000. For some dumb reason, I thought I'd take a break from my 20 year plan towards earning some sort of "Renaissance Man" degree and instead try my hand at earning a little extra dough while I sort my life out a bit. Well, unknown to me, the spell of suspension on my loan had been broken when the evil demons of financial woe cracked the seals protecting it only to anger the slumbering god of credit. The heavens may have quaked and the earth may have split over over the credit god's wrath over my delinquency, but I heard no such rumblings. So upon the 100th day of my defaulted loan, I now realize the error and magnitude of my ignorance, only too late...

Yes, it was my fault, I should have called my lender and kept them up to date as to my whereabouts, my phone number, my dogs name, my shoe size and favorite color (blue, no wait, red... AAAAAH!). To be honest though, I didn't even think about it. Nope, I completely forgot that I owe some fucking computer account number in New Jersey or Texas some binary sequence of ones and zeros.

The amazing thing is that I find out (the hard way) that my credit from a completely different company is dramatically effected by an old student loan. Obviously financial institutions share their information about me with one another (so they can each have their turn in screwing me), but apparently I am completely out of the loop when it comes to this information. Why, on gods microchip-embedded earth, am I the last to know? You'd think after, say, the first 30 days, I'd get a notice from my credit card company stating that I'd defaulted on an unrelated loan so I won't get royally screwed in another 70 days. Good looking out for the customer Wells Fargo. Thanks a whole fucking lot. Stupid stage coach and horses. Now a days you've got to look out for a different type of bandit waiting to rip off your earnings. The funny thing is that they're really shooting themselves in the foot with this one. Now they can't expect me to make anymore charges and therefore earn more in interest from me. Bah! Credit, who needs it anyway?

Oh woe is me... Well I still have my health (but no health insurance)... I've still got my car (paid off now but ready to die soon)... Well I've still got a roof over my head (but I hopelessly live at home, yeah, as in the home I grew up in)... OK, so maybe I do need credit. From the looks of things, I'm pathetically close to disaster without it. I suppose I could always run off to Canada and hide, but then I'd just freeze my butt off... Mexico? Hmm, no they don't take any immigrants in Mexico and my Spanish is almost as bad as my Swahili...

RABBITS!!!

Hey! It's the 1st of the Month and my grandmother once told me that if you say "rabbits" when you wake up on the 1st of the month you'll have good luck... Oh Fuck, its the 2nd and I've already been up all day. Oh well, somethings never change. I'm always late. I was born late and I'll be late for the rest of my unatural life.

Here's a classic...



..sniff...The tears at the end get me every time. Poor little guy.

Oh ....

God has a sick sense of humor

Well, what can I say... I guess that I feel a little funny coming back to visit SG after a several week hiatus. Some might say I've been a bit preoccupied, but to be honest I think that's an understatement. My life has changed direction in just a few short weeks and I'm happy to say its finally headed where I think I should be. It may come as a surprise for some (I sure was), but I'm no longer "on the market"... Yep, thats it. The For Sale sign is down and I'm no longer looking for buyers. Im still amazed that after such a long period of time, finally someone has reached out to me and has become my best friend. For those of you who may want to know more, I still can't say, but what I can say for sure is that it just feels right.

Well, I finally made it back in one piece (sort of). Ah Canada. There was ice and snow as far as the eye can see (not too far in the middle of Alberta, it's pretty flat), the air was crisp and cold, the wind brutal and unforgiving... But I didn't want to go. Instead of being back, I wish I could just hole up and hibernate for the winter. On another note, Congratulations PiratePete & WhiteWidow on their marriage! Now I have an new sister and a whole new familily... Here's to you 'kids'. You both were so happy during the wedding and I'm so glad you found one another. There's just one thing... I'm really jealous that you're in Vegas right now. I'd rather be there then here. Let's hope all the time you're spending together is very 'productive'...

As for me, I wish I could find the words to express the rollercoaster I've just found myself strapped into. The funny thing is I don't wan't off. I sort of wish things could be a bit different for me, but sometimes you just have to go with the flow instead of trying to fight back the river...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (I should be sleeping)...

But no, here I am up past 2:00 AM (really I just finished packing for Canada). Well, I think I've got almost everything in order, but there are a few things that I don't think I'll manage to get done before I have to leave. To be honest, I'm as nervous as I am excited right now, even though I'm not the one getting married! I'm going to miss my faithful dog Yuri while I'm away, but thankfully I've got my good friend Dave and his wife Anna to watch over him (and all of the other furballs) while I'm away.

I'm hoping that everyone has a wonderful time at the wedding, and I'm praying I don't make an ass out of myself. I have to come up with something really special to say to my brother Pete and my oh-so-soon-to-be sister-in-law Candace but I have no idea just what I'm going to say yet... I'm sure everything will end up fine when the time comes for me to do the "best man speech". I keep having visions of me screwing up just like in the movies. Well, if it goes bad, maybe people will laugh, then at least I will have made someone happy (instead of loathing me). What am I saying!?! I've got to get this out of my head for now, I usually think better after a good nights sleep anyways... If I ever get one. That's it, bed time, must go... Goodbye SG. I'll miss you all until I get back in about a week. (Well, actually I'll be seeing some of you very soon!) Until then, take care!


After thoughts: what am I so worried about? Just take a deep breath, now...

Uuuuuuuuuuugh... I'm sick. My head feels hot and like it's swimming in molases, my throat feels like it's being squeezed whenever I swallow and my stomach has been churning all day. The nausea is terrible, it comes in waves and and everytime I burp (alot) if feels like I'm gonna . Top it all off with the shivers, headaches and dizziness and you've got one sick puppy. It's safe to say I probably got both the flu and a cold at the same time. I just hope I get over them both soon.

Great, I forgot about the sneezing. Evertime I sneeze it feels the back of my skull is getting blown out as I give myself whiplash. At least my eyes aren't watery and my nose is staying dry for now, but that could change at any minute... I need a vacation to somewhere nice and warm with fresh, clean air... Canada here I come.

I hate being sick. I usually try and deny the fact and try to "will' myself better, but this time I'm waving my white flag of surrender. OK, I'm sick, come on antibodies, do your magic thing and zap the baddies... I'm counting on you!!!!

Sigh, so amid the chaos of work I have nearly reached the point of being overstressed. The good news is I found something that's going to take the edge right off of my weary mind. It's the NEW STRESS-BUSTER 6000 (complete with razzle-dazzle), and it's going to whip me right into shape. Yes, this space age contraption is silky smooth and is made from the highest grade aerospace materials with enough sexy contours to make a Tiger purr.

So, without further ado, I give you a glimpse of my brand new silver machine!*

(*Training wheels not included)

Cue the music!

...Ok, I CAN explain this. I'm fairly certain that I was a psychedelic rocker during the early 70's in my last life (just before I was 'reborn'). It's not for everyone, but then again, I don't care.

Now I can stop driving and all those people stuck in traffic can just kiss off.

And now for something completely different:


AND IN OTHER NEWS...
Yuri has received a temporary reprieve from his pending visit with the vet... The poor guy has NO idea what's in store for him... (A 'bucket' on his head). I didn't have the heart to do it just yet but he's getting towards 6 months so I'm going to have to take him in soon.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!


Fwew. Now that I've got that out of my system, it's time to relax and think happy thoughts...

OK, I'm becoming a zombie and I hate it. I roll out of bed to go to work and everyday I feel a little less alive and more like an automaton. Well, now that I've just spent the last several weeks compiling a database and single-handedly conducting the store inventory during regular business hours over the last couple of days (emphasis on the word hand - more on that later...) Well, like a good worker bee, I've shirked my irresponsibilites and decided that I don't work quite hard enough for my boss, so after skipping my last couple of days off so we could make sure the system works for this weekend, you'd imagine I'd be ready to take off for the weekend, right? Yep, you can bet I'll be relaxing, sleeping in, doing absolutely nothing and loving every minute of it... That is if I hadn't agreed to come in again tomorrow for more of the same. Never mind that we'll be short handed in the shop since were supporting a local mountain biking event at the same time (so that means more customers then usual... GREAT. Ok, so what's all this business about hands? Well, for starters, all the typing (especially 10-key numeric pad) over the last month and a half (or has it been 2 months?) has really taken it's toll on my weary wrist. It really aches, and it hurts to flex it. The sad thing is that it's embarassing to complain about. It's not like I can say something like. "Oh yeah, well I was driving and bending rebar for an 8000 square foot foundation for a business down in Los Colinas" or "Yep, my wrist just started hurting after the first 8 miles of barbed wire I had to string, but after about the 16th mile or so, I just sort of got used to it..."

Ok, so being a stiff wristed wuss aside, I don't think I can handle much more of the whole data business anymore. What's been going inside my brain is even worse then my wrist. I literally feel like a zombie and I've started to see numbers and a database grid superimposed upon my retina while I blankly stare at the walls, hynotized by the texture of the spackling... DROOL...

Well, I can't wait to get the hell out of town for a while. I just might have to take off three days next week (in a row) just so I can go somewhere and decompress for a bit. At least I'll have some extra cash for the overtime, just in time for the big event this December (when I'll take the best break you could ever ask for in retail - during holiday shopping season!) I just hope the poor bastards will be able to manage without me... On second thought, I hope they crash and burn... (I think I might also down load that virus so I can get all the fractions of a cent routed to my bank account like they did in Superman Three...) Ok, so far that's two references to Office Space (did you catch the first?). Now I know what I'll be doing tomorrow (after work)... Watching one of the best movies ever made! Ok, so it's mediocre as far as movies go, but it's still funny as hell...

Speaking of which, how about those elections this week? WHOO HOO! I'm glad that something finally went right, er left, for a change in this country. Those crooked politicians and faux leaders (that call themselves President, Vice-President, et al.) finally got the reaming they so richly deserve. I really hope that this is just the beginning, hopefully soon hearings and indictments will be bareling towards them faster then you can say "War Profiteer" or "strategery".

Aw, did your country lose faith? BOO HOO!

Ok, is it just me or is the new Halloween themed SG logo just a little too creepy?

So, I hope everyone has plans for the big night, I for one am going to break tradition and skip going to a Halloween party I've been to for almost the last 4 years... It's not exactly the same crowd of people anymore, and even though it was a huge group of people, if didn't feel the same without any familiar faces. So, despite my killer self-inflicted make up job that was turning heads, I felt silly and left to go home early. I was a little bummed out, but realized that my social tastes have changed along with my behavior. Today, I'd much rather prefer a smaller, more intimate group of friends to the typical block party beer fest I that I used to just end up getting drunk or stoned at. Not that there is anything wrong with doing that, it's just that I tend to go a bit over the top and go beyond my limits. I guess that's why my drinking has tapered off... The cool thing about not drinking as much is that it becomes a more celebratory event when I do and I get really buzzed after just one or two. (So if you think about it, it's kind of a plus). Of course there are other things that I've stopped doing along with these changes and now I'm feeling kind of left out. Oh well, I guess that's just what happens when you take a step back to evaluate your life (damn it!). I'm starting to sound like some of the uptight, holier-than-thou (hypocrites) that abound in my little city... On second thought, maybe I should go out and have some fun for a change...