Good Asshole Fuckface morning to you! It’s the day our Lord Jesus Christ declared Asshole Fuckface Roundup day! You know, Asshole Fuckfacing is not something...

It has begun. The shockingly stupid among us have started their chant. You will be hearing it for a long, long time. “Look at the Obama supporters crying.”...

Obama is going with tax cuts. Well, that didn’t take long. Obama’s already working his compromise promise –– except right now compromise on the economy...

Well, here we are again. It is a new year and there are still Asshole Fuckfaces running around, doing horrible things to good people. I will continue to...

For those of you who haven’t been following, Obama chose shocking asshole and homophobe Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration. Many have...

Saturday. This is the day the Lord set aside for good people, like myself, to point out and mock horrible people, like Steve Guttenberg. In churches and...

So long newspapers. You guys were great. I really appreciated all you did. Where would I be without you? Huh? I’d be one stupid asshole. And where would...

Well, the Republicans sure did fight for their beliefs last week, didn’t they? Quite an impressive move standing up for CEOs during the first bailout, then...

Asshole Fuckfacing had a good week. The greats of Asshole Fuckfacery would be very, very proud of all the horrible shit that went down. Some weeks I have...

The Republican Party is floundering like a gay penis in a vagina. They really have no idea what to do. Some want to go more religious conservative, while...

Senator Hillary Clinton will be the new Secretary of State beginning in January, which means her seat will open up and a new clown must be chosen for the...

Well, well, look who came crawling back to the Asshole Fuckface Roundup. Last week, you screamed, "I can't take it anymore. Why are people so horrible?"...

It took a while, but Ronald Reagan finally destroyed America. The myth of Reagan, told during many a conservative circle jerk, has recently been crushed...

Chalk up a big win for the terrorists. Not only did they execute a heinous plan with shocking effectiveness, but it also went on for days. Literally, for...

Now that you’ve crammed a shocking amount of turkey into your talky hole and visited with your delightful family, it’s time to get back to reality. Of course,...

This is the day we Americans come together to celebrate thanks and stuff. In 1619, English settlers arrived at Berkeley Hundred, a settlement 20 miles north...

Will the Republican crying ever stop? It is pathetic to still have to listen to some Republican child whining about the perceived positive media treatment...

Asshole Fuckfacing is upon us! Thrusting and pounding on our precious innocence every single day! We must cleanse ourselves with a thorough reading and...

I’m going with depression. It will certainly be worse than anything I have witnessed in my lifetime. I am currently 77 years old. My neck skin actually...

It’s time for America to get its bailout on again. Detroit has turned into a giant bag of ass and we need to do something about it. They want 25 billion.