Holy shit I haven't posted in this thing in forever. Well, I just bought my first DSLR camera online today. Fucking awesome. Canon Rebel XTi nigga. Crazy excited to start using it (once it gets to me, anyway).

OH BOY ITS MY BIRTHDAY! I am now officially not a teenager anymore. It's quite weird. I'm a pretty immature person and I probably won't ever completely mature no matter how old I am. I feel some kind of social pressure to be an adult though. Lately I've been organizing myself and thinking about my future which is completely out of my normal. Anyway! Off to begin festivities such as drinking (still illegally) and having sexy times.

Holy shit. It's so weird talking to people from your past. There was this guy on the internet when I was 15 that I was very very much in love with. We talked for a year and then ended up meeting. We lived on opposite sides of the country so it was a pretty big deal. I fell for him so hard when we met that I for the most part stopped talking to him as soon as I got home because I couldn't stand not being with him. It was pretty depressing.

Anyway, I just started talking to him again very recently. It's been almost 4 years since we met in real life and he has done so much shit with his life. I just found out last night that his current girlfriend and him are expecting a baby. I am so fucking weirded out by this. I really can't explain how mind blowing it is. You'd have to know what it feels like. What if I had done something different and actually kept things going with this guy? Would I be in the same position with him as he is now? Oh god this is making me think too much. It didn't work and he has his own life. Just, wow.

I need to find a way to make money. I'm feeling an itch to get something pierced or tattood but money has just been the biggest issue lately. I have no idea what to do. There has got to be some way to legally earn some money other than my shit job.

I am in quite a pickle right now. I recently got my first tattoo and, as I was warned, I want more and more and more. I'm also interested in maybe getting my septum pierced just because someone brought it up recently and I thought about it and I'm considering doing it now. This all sounds good and fun.. however. My boyfriend isn't really the kind of guy who likes that stuff which is weird because I absolutely love tattoos and piercings. I told him I wanted to get my septum pierced and he flat out said no to me and that it was ugly. What the shit am I supposed to do? I care for my boyfriend, but if he's going to be in the way of me expressing myself am I setting myself up for something bad? I don't know what to do

Oh god first post. Alright. I've been meaning to make a Suicide Girls account for awhile now but I never got around to it. I'm all about the alternative ladies getting their sexy time in the limelight. Anyway. I'm Amanda and I'm fat. That mostly explains everything about me that you really need to know other than the small details. I take pictures at the Picture People for a living. I absolutely love my job, but want to get some real Photography training and move onto my own stuff. Right now just working and making money so I can find a school that is good for me so I can break out into the photography field.

Not quite sure what else to write here right now because I'm tired and my brain is dead. It's almost noon and I've been dreading going to work since I woke up, which is outstandingly dumb and gay because I don't have to be in work till 5! I am a complete butt. Alright, time to crank up some loud music and get to living. Peace.