age: 28 (Jun 05, 1983)

MEMBER SINCE: February 2005

occupation: i work with children.

crush: i accidentaly sat on my balls a few weeks ago, but they werent crushed too badly.

gets me hot: kitten whiskers tickling my butt. i just love animals that much!!

most humbling moment: any time i drop my pants.ZING!! my penis and testicles are less than adequate.SHAZZAM!!

fantasy: i wish i were god, or at least just one of his children.

makes me sad: the 24lb tumor hanging from my forehead. im big into fitness, so jumping rope with this huge sack flopping around on my face is brutal. ive broken my nose 8 times and lost three teeth. not to mention the agony of trying to find a decent sweatband that fits.

into: myself,the homes of strangers,midgets,midgets with hook hands, midgets with hook hands and big arses,big arses crapping out hook handed midgets.

body mods: missing a few toenails from a horrific foot fungus(smells like baked yams(drop me a line if you know what it might be)).

i lost my virginity: still waiting ladies...a pasture of ass hair and skin tags awaits your exploration.please mind the colostomy bag though, its a devil to clean.

makes me happy: an ether rag, roll of duct tape, the element of surprise and a good alibi. if any of the fore mentioned would lead you to belive that im a rapist, relax, i just have a hard time talking to women, and if thats a crime then lock-me-up!