Goddamn it started getting dark early tonight. It started around four-thiry. Four-fuckin'-thirty!! It just doesn't make sense to me. We "fall back" only ONE hour but it starts getting dark FOUR hours earlier. Does not compute. This daylight savings time is a piss poor investment.

Call me weird, but it just dawned on me today that I have NEVER used an entire chapstick. I've either, lost, thrown away, or melted into my jeans pocket (doing laundry) each tube I have ever gotten my hands on. I have absolutely no recollection of ever using up that last little bit from a tube. It's completely stupid, yet utterly mind-boggling.

I don’t drive too much these days. Got into a little trouble with L.A.’s finest a little while back and got my license suspended. Apparently you’re not supposed to drive around with expired tags…AND smoke a doobie at the same time. The state of California seems to frown upon that. And the judge didn’t buy into that whole “smoking makes me drive better” bit. But on Santa Monica Blvd, there’s this electric billboard that keeps count of all the smoking related deaths in America. Have you all seen this yet? Apparently we’re going to count them all together now, one by one. I’ll be honest; I’m not really interested in doing that. I’d rather go down to the Promenade on an unexpected chilly day and count nipples or something. But what’s really nuts is when you actually see it change. That's a bummer man. I was driving to work one morning and some poor bastard’s life was taken right before my eyes. Now I don’t KNOW this person. He could have been some Swahili tribesman who had been trading the beaded anklets he made for his weekly carton of Newport’s. I’d never meet him or anyone that knows someone who knows him. But I do know this, the sign worked. I did feel a little bit bad for ole number 94,578... Things have changed since then. Now every time I pass that freakin’ sign I can’t keep my eyes off of it. I WANT to see it change. Matter of fact, I’m struggling to keep my eyes on the sign AND bumper to bumper traffic. “Come on somebody die! Come on! Die! Die! Die!”

I have decided you simply can NOT play Uno with only two people. It just doesn't work. Skip you, Skip you, Reverse back to me, Draw Two - still me, Skip you, Reverse back to me, Skip you, Draw Four, um red - UNO!!!

Nuh-uh.

God the days are just rollin' on by. There's about a half dozen things I wanted to do today and I didn't get to because I had to work. I think my only problem with going to work is that it's too damn time consuming.

I've decided to make a conscious effort to not be such a potty mouth if I can help it. I'm not starting any "swear jar" or anything thing coo-coo like that. I'm going to just try and reduce my usage of such words like "damn", "shit", & "fuck". "Asshole", I may retain only because it applies to so many chuckleheads here in LA. And while were on it, I don't think "Jesus Christ" should be considered a blaspheme. I mean, that one just sort of rolls out a little too easily. Now "Jesus FUCKING Christ", now THAT'S a blaspheme. You're really going out of you're way with that one.

You know those guys that dress up like gigantic hoagies and stand outside of Subway? The ones that stand out on the curb and wave to passing traffic in an effort to wrangle in some of the afternoon crowd. I wonder if anyone has ever gone in to the Subway and said, "What's that guy made out of? Whatever it is, he looks fucking delicious. Gimme one of him..."

I just walked down to the bakery on the corner for a little morning coffee. I'm thinking the VERY FIRST homeless dude that used the sign "Why Lie? I Want Beer" probably made a few bucks with that one. I mean, I know the first time I saw it, I laughed. But then everyone started doing it and at this point I find that those types of signs piss me off a little. And now that brave, pioneer bum-guy is right back at square one.

Weird. I just learned that my cat's favorite movie is Ice Age. It just happened to be on tv and she sat right the fuck down in front of the tv and stared at the screen for a good 10 minutes. Which is odd because I actually watched Toy Story the other day and she wasn't havin' any of that. And Toy Story's a MUCH better movie.

After watching The Two Towers a second time around, I have officially come to the conclusion that if I were an archer, I think my FIRST arrow shot would ALWAYS be with a FLAMING arrow. I mean why wouldn't you want to? You don't even really have to aim. THEN while your enemy is running around frantically trying to estinguish his left arm, you can finish him off with your SECOND arrow.....but I guess of course... you COULD just go for the throat with your first arrow, but that'll probably only work if you're like number one in your division....