I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live

I'm so down these days...my cousin and roomate is really sick, in her body and in her mind (anorexia, boulimia and other things..), i don't know how to help her, i don't know how long we'll stay in this flat...What are you supposed to do when somebody's dangerously depressed and when she tried everything to get better already? I can't look at childhood pictures anymore, i 'll never see her as she used to be i guess...
My sister Amartya was here this weekend , as usual after 5 minutes it felt like she never left...but sure, we managed to fight
Don't want to work, don't want to think, i just feel like sleeping, resting, smoking, i don't know, lay down and do nothing........

THIS movie

Hey guys
Last night i've seen this great movie:


if you can you should definitly go to see it, about life in east germany in the 80's...just a good movie.
Anyway i should be working now, instead of spending my time being on the net,reading Poe, going to movies, and smoking...i just feel so lazy sometimes...
In 2 days my Amartya will come to visit me , together maybe we can organise a plan to make her evil roomate disappear...

we'll see if we can find something...

Why the fuck do i always have so much trouble to take one little decision?
And when i finally do it, i have this little stomache ache telling me "you've done the wrong thing.."