I might quit this site soon. I hardly ever come here.
I'm doing BDSM porn videos now and our dungeon has its own interractive website. So I'm spending a lot of my time there. Not many people here want to hear about BDSM, which is a BIG part of my life right now, so there's no point.
I'll probably throw up a photo to make this more interesting. This may be my last entry.
I don't know what keeps me here...

It's not 1damon because I get to see him soooooon!

Picture added.

The first time I broke and reduced someone to sobs.

I have a regular masochist now who I freakin LOVE. Besides being a very sweet, thoughtful, creative (he's always making new evil toys for me to use on him and he also does cartoons of me), submissive man, he lets me do and try anything my little sadistic heart desires. Actually I wouldn't call him a masochist, so much as a sadist fetishist. He doesn't really get off on the pain, but rather on making the sadist happy. But he can take A LOT. Friday night's session started with some over the knee spanking, to warm him up - followed by corporal and a heavy caning (about 50 hard strokes) - followed by a whipping with my new single tail ( a first for him) - followed by ball kneeing and kicking in high heels - followed by hot wax all over his cock, balls, and nipples (a first for him) - followed by cigarette burning on and around his cock and balls (first for both of us) - and the for finale, he produced an exacto knife, saying how he knew I'd been wanting to try cutting and how he thought a V (for Varla, my Mistress name) right above his cock would be appropriate. I was already flying really high at this point and with about a second of doubt, picked up the knife and got to work. (Yes I took all the necessary safety/health precautions, I just didn't feel like mentioning that part.) Then I took pictures. (The white stuff is leftover wax, ok)

It was beautiful and fascinating. I watched, mesmerized, as crimson pooled in the lines. He said later that one of his favorite parts of the session was watching the funny little smile on my face as I did it all. Each new time we meet I am going to do another letter, until I finish my name. Not bad for someone who used to have a fear of blood.
And I'm still flying high today.
I must be sick in the head

Oh and I got a new single tail whip! I'll be whipping the flames off candles some day. You think I'm kidding? Move over, Catwoman.

Oh my. Hungover doesn't even begin to describe how I feel today, after last night's festivities at the Black&Blue Ball. Not only is almost my entire body sore, but I've got like 15 massive bruises on my legs. I really don't remember exerting myself that much (only a few beating here and there), and I definitely don't remember doing any strap-on, which would normally account for bruised knees and shins.
In any case, I finally got a chance to meet the lovely petbot. I was pretty sauced at that point and remember molesting the poor girl, and not being able to stop myself. The girl has curves like you wouldn't believe, and encased in latex they are a sight to behold. I think she officially turned me into a latex fetishist. She also helped me break in my new nylon cane, which is now my new favorite toy. So thanks, petbot for being such a good sport, and such a hot little submissive! I'm still drooling. Also, thank your for me. He was so very generous to share you with me, and to let me do pretty much anything I pleased.
Hmmm so I got quite a few leg/foot massages. I met a couple other people I've been corresponding with online and hadn't yet met. Met a few other people who apparently knew of me very well, but whom I've never spoken with before. It was new and a little flattering. I peed on some random sub in the bathroom stall and made an awful mess. I watched many of the other Rapture Girls in action. They were all so beautiful and enchanting to watch!
All in all it was a fun night. I would have liked to dance or gotten more into the celebration of it all, but subs are clingy little creatures and demand a lot of attention. I don't mind too much. Who can complain about being doted on and waited on hand and foot? I should have had them buy my drinks (10$ each!!!), but I still feel strange about having a stranger spend money on me. I'm still more Sadist than Domme.
Ummm... oh, apparently vanilla boys like latex too! I got a lot of comments on my dress, from men off the street, as I made my way to the club.
What else... oh yes, I made my own hat and choker. I was very happy with the results because it was my first attempt at making accessories and they came out even better than when I imagined them.

Here's a picture I snapped for 111111111damon right before heading off to the ball!



6/3/06. Added: A candid from the Ball. You can't see the two subs massaging my feet and and the one massaging my hand. no wonder I have a sparkle in my eye

I am craving pain. Receiving of.
A few days ago it was spanking. And I actually got one! Mistress Psyche gave me her birthday spanking. Yet it was a short one that left but a temporary redness... And now I'm craving tattoos and the pain that comes with them. That lovely pain. I know some of you know what I mean.
Could it be, er, masochism...

I have been more stressed lately and I think it relates...

Still exploring. Might as well make notes along the way.

But really, nothing beats a hard spanking by a beautiful, Dominant woman. Really. No REALLY.
I need one now.

I was finally showed the magazine...and...it wasn't me For a second I thought it was, so I can see how he thought so as well. Good news is I'm not blanking out on as much stuff as I thought. So, next party I'm still getting sloshed heh. And I still want to be in a magazine!

I want to learn to pole dance! Something tells me I'd be very good at it. In elementary school, while others were becoming four square and tetherball masters, we spent all our recesses on the monkey bars. I was a pro. I was the only one to attempt and learn the suicide drop. The only one to attempt and learn backward flips...with one leg and two. I owned those monkey bars. I bet I could own the pole. Too bad I don't know of any poles to practice on.

I have a few opportunities for cool photoshoots (not to mention all these ideas in my head) so I really need to suck it up, dust off the camera, and get to shooting.

Apparently I was spotted in a magazine...Toes and Hose. I've never heard of it and a google search turned up nothing. The person who told me said it was a picture of me having my feet worshiped while smoking a cigarette. Now, I'm not a habitual smoker. I've never done a photoshoot with trampling and smoking. I only ever smoke when I'm drunk. It could have been at a party. I am also apparently starting to blank out on stuff when I drink. I didn't throw up the last couple of times, but I blanked out on stuff. Normally I just throw up. Anyway, I'm DYING to see the magazine. I don't think it's me. The person swears it is.

I have a friend that wants to eplore BDSM and wants me to abuse him. He keeps bringing it up. Since he is approaching ME about this, I call that "free play." He says that I can practice on him. And do anything but kick him in the nuts. heh heh heh. <---sadistic laughter. I'm buying some medical needles and I'm cramming as many as I can fit into his nipples. I've done piercings on four people, but I'm still getting over a fear of needles and want to practice until I LOVE it. I can imagine his yelps now and I'm grinning to myself.

Lets see...
The back is sore, the abs are sore, and the knees are bruised...oh that's right, I fucked someone in the ass again.
Remember kids, the polite thing to do is to clean yourself out before anal sex. No one likes to bugger dirty ass. Well I know I don't. E-N-E-M-A

So what are your favorite names for butt sex?

R.I.P. Gordon Parks

It's fast approaching nooooo. There's no way to run or hide. I had forgotten about it briefly.

Here is my favorite trampling pic. Gives you a small idea of the amount of trampling this guy can take. He also showed me how to use his tummy as a trampoline... I can get some pretty high jumps on it, high heels and all. Wheee

A couple of you may recognize him.

Every day I come here and am reminded of how utterly lame this site is. Then soon after I am reminded of how awesome some of the members are. Plus I have my group that I committed myself to, despite knowing I wasn't happy here. There are no alternative sites. There are new ones popping up each day but they appear just to be clones of this one. *yawn*
"Should I stay or should I go now?"

On another note, 111111111damon is visiting and staying with me for three weeks . We have been looking for victims we can tie up and torture and take pretty pictures of... but the search continues. You'd think more people would jump at the chance