Thanks for all the comments.

Well, in two days I'll be in San Fransisco watching Manson perform. I'm looking forward to it.

Time to go out and have a little fun.

I do feel a little better today. I spoke with my ex and that made me happy. I still miss her a lot.

It's not real easy for me to put my thoughts into this.

I've kinda been in a bad mood recently. Not too bad, but enough for me to know it. I'm having thoughts I don't like. It's hard to tell who I am any more.

I can't understand my own thoughts. How would any of you? I want to ask for help, but I can't get myself that far. My friends got mad at me before. They would surely be furious now.

Suggestions, Help, swift kick to the head?

I'm a good man, left in a world that doesn't think I exist.

I went out one night with a friend. There were two women sitting at a table near us that we thought were very attractive. I wanted to approach them but couldn't. So I went and talked with the waitress and made arrangements to pay for their meal. And I did. As they left, they came up to me and asked me why I would do that. I told them I just wanted to. And when they persisted I told the trueth. Saying I was too afraid to ask for their phone numbers. one of the ladies offered to give me her number which I did not request. And said she looked forward to hearing from me. It was a fake number.

A lot of women complain that they can not find a nice guy. Two women did just that. Finding a nice guy only to treat him like shit for being nice. I never asked for a single thing. A thank you would have been fine enough.

Woo Hoo!! It's the weekend. And I'm sitting at home

This shall change tomorrow however. I'm not sure how, but I will find a way. Suggestions welcome.

I finaly got my computer working again. Now I have 160 gig's on two drives. I still have a lot more software to install but atleast it's working.

I started my new job yesterday and it's going good. I like it. It's a lot easier and not as stressfull.

I need to go for now. i'll say Hi later.

Back to work and I'm already hating it. There is one salesman that I cannot stand. He's just rude and has done some things to me that have made me lose respect for him. I will be so happy come Thursday. I thought about telling him to f*ck off... But... I'm not sure. I might say something to him when I leave. I'm really looking forward to my new job. Yay!! I'm not sure when I will get my first check though. Well, I'm off to bed.

Another day off work. I love it. Work has been driving me nuts recently. Only one more week to go. Then I'm free. Well, at least from Pepsi. Do you think I should sue Pepsi? Several people have told me I should sue them for the way I was treated. They told me I couldn't have a promotion after I was hired for it. Said it was a rule and then couldn't show it to me in writting. What do you think?

Life has become a little more interesting. I did get a second chance with the girl I spoke about. And things were good, but. I am going to change my status back to single today when I see her. ....... Too many thoughts. I need to be single for a while I think. Maybe that might straighten out my head.

And for the good news. I got a new job!! I will be selling Red Bull in two weeks. Woo Hoo.

Damn. Why do I have to be so nice and polite? I was with a woman tonight and could stop thinking about kissing her. But I never did. I was sitting there talking to her, and I couldn't help but stare at her skin. looking at her neck and chest and her beautiful face. She was very beautiful. I wanted so much more from here but I couldn't bring myself to it. It just felt wierd. I'm not the kind of guy that goes out looking for some one to bring home. And I know this woman too. We went to school together. Why do I have to be so shy?!? I know I'll see her again. Maybe time will help me. well, I'm off to bed. Hopefully the beer wont bother me in the morning. LOL. I did have fun tonight. I look forward to a second chance.

Yet another day off. It feels so good to relax.

On another note I still feel a little stupid. I still miss my ex and it's been three months since we broke up. Hmm... Trying to think is not easy. I'm not afraid to date someone else. It just feels like all of it requires too much effort. And I haven't met anyone I like. I guess I should try to talk to people more. Being shy suxs. Oh, well. Enough for now. I'll go figure out what I can do tonight.

I'm really happy right now. I finaly got ahold of the guy I want to do my tattoo. He liked my design and said he could do it in two hours. So I'm going to get it done next month.