ZPO has it. No matter how bleak things may seem at any given point in time, life can take a radical turn to the positive when we least expect it. It's not all random, of course. Learning from past mistakes and making better decisions does help, but it's never too late to improve on that score. Pain and tragedy are a natural part of life. To me, it makes no sense to allow negative events of the past to cause me to deprive myself of the chance for something amazing to happen tomorrow.
I'm with eccentricoldguy. The little things are keeping me going. Get out of the habit of thinking about the future or the past too much, and enjoy the little stuff. It adds up surprisingly fast. (Secret: I think it's how almost all "happy" people get by.)
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours." | Atlas Shrugged
I've followed your posts over the last few years and know you are a unique, wonderful person. Be persistent, take care of yourself, and just be. All will be well.
making art, looking at art, writing, reading, good beer and good food, puppy kisses and rabbi faces, the beauty of nature and the love of friends, the smell of a flower on a hot morning, trees in fall, traveling and interesting people.