Forever is only a year or two
I’ve noticed a whole lot of infidelity in the news of late. I don’t know what that says about us as gossip guys and gossip girls but it’s everywhere right now. If you put on the television they are talking about Tiger Woods, Jesse James, John Edwards and plenty of other philanderers. If you are in line at the supermarket or drug store you’ll see the faces of those involved plastered all over the magazines and “news” weeklies. Publically, people say what these men are doing is wrong and they should be condemned for it. In private hoards of guys are in awe at how much tail these celebrities have bagged and envy their lifestyle. I heard a few guys talking about Tiger the other day and both were sympathetic to HIM! They thought he was getting a raw deal. He had how many mistresses? I think the number was 15 at last count. Now I don’t really care what these celebrities do with their lives but when they are role models to kids and are all over my television trying to sell me things, I’d prefer if they weren’t complete douchebags. What’s more annoying than the sparkling smile of a heartless jerk?
Speaking of annoying, at first I was annoyed with the media’s craving for bad celebrity behavior in lieu of real news but now I’m really annoyed with what seems to me as the increasing glorifying of infidelity. I know it’s not reported as such but what I think is happening is a lot of people are seeing this stuff all over the news and are not disgusted by this behavior anymore. Moreover, I think a growing percentage are approving of it. I’ve heard and read people talking about how they wished they could be Tiger or many of these other guys. It’s amazing how desensitized we’ve become to what used to be utterly deplorable behavior. My how times have changed.
I realize cheating has been going on since before the toga times but I’m afraid that before too long it’s going to be thought of as a “cool” thing to do, if it’s not already. I’m not against being with lots of people, but for Pete’s sake, don’t get married and do that. Don’t get seriously involved and then do someone wrong like that. If you are single and want to juggle a dozen relationships, more power to you. I could never do that but if you can and want to, enjoy yourself. I don’t feel like anyone should be involved with more than one person at a time, but that’s just me. I hate to say it, but I am old fashioned that way.
Speaking of which, do you remember watching television when we were younger and they always made a big deal out of “going steady”? A guy would give a girl a pin, his jacket, or some little trinket to let her know she was his only girl. Do you remember when people looked at getting married as more of the sacred institution it was meant to be? It astonishes me how frivolously people jump into marriages these days. I know people who’ve gotten married within mere months of dating. I know even more people who’ve gotten engaged within a few months of dating. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong because I’m not in your shoes but to someone analytical like I am, I can’t believe it or understand it. How can you know someone that well after a dozen weeks? The statistics back me up as there are now more divorces than ever. As of now, nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce and more than that, marriages on the whole have declined over the years. So basically less people are getting married, and more people are divorcing.
Why has this occurred? I think it’s a byproduct of our lifestyle. Go to the supermarket and see how many different breads you can get. Do you remember when your choices were 4 or 5 types of bread? Now you can get 30 different kinds! We have a ton of choices out there when we are making the most minor decisions. The fact is we have a ton of choices in many aspects of our lives and I think that freedom impacts our thinking in other areas. I mean, we live in buffet times. We have so many options that some people want to try them all, or as many as they can. If they don't they feel like they may be missing out on something. This can develop greed, selfishness and overindulging. People like me who often finds one thing I really like and stick with it are deemed boring. Perhaps people feel the same way about their choices for sex, mates or relationships. They want it all. That's wonderful for you but please don't deceive or prey on those who want it the other way. Some people's meaningless "fun" ruins other people's serious lives.
Marriage seems as unimportant now as it has ever been. I’m not the religious sort who has some biblical definition of marriage, nor am I a social conservative who doesn’t want gays and lesbians to marry but one thing I agree with them on is that I hold marriage to be a beautiful, special and sacred thing. That’s what I feel. I think it’s the highest compliment you can give to another person. It’s an investment and you are going all in. It’s telling someone that you want to give the rest of your life to them. It’s unselfish, heartfelt and the ultimate promise. To me, it’s life as art. I think of a great marriage like I would a piece of great art. I look upon it the same admiration and respect. With all these divorces and the infidelity it’s like someone is running through the art museum drawing evil mustaches on all the artwork. Now it seems, forever is only a year or two.
Perhaps this bothers me too much. I’ve certainly been called an idealist on more than one occasion. Maybe I’ve seen too many old movies this year. Perhaps I am a dying breed. I just want I do to mean everything I do should mean instead of I think so, or I do until something better comes along or I’ll give it a try. As one of my great mentors once famously said, do or do not… there is no try. See, the 900 year old little green alien with the pointy ears gets it.
I’ve noticed a whole lot of infidelity in the news of late. I don’t know what that says about us as gossip guys and gossip girls but it’s everywhere right now. If you put on the television they are talking about Tiger Woods, Jesse James, John Edwards and plenty of other philanderers. If you are in line at the supermarket or drug store you’ll see the faces of those involved plastered all over the magazines and “news” weeklies. Publically, people say what these men are doing is wrong and they should be condemned for it. In private hoards of guys are in awe at how much tail these celebrities have bagged and envy their lifestyle. I heard a few guys talking about Tiger the other day and both were sympathetic to HIM! They thought he was getting a raw deal. He had how many mistresses? I think the number was 15 at last count. Now I don’t really care what these celebrities do with their lives but when they are role models to kids and are all over my television trying to sell me things, I’d prefer if they weren’t complete douchebags. What’s more annoying than the sparkling smile of a heartless jerk?
Speaking of annoying, at first I was annoyed with the media’s craving for bad celebrity behavior in lieu of real news but now I’m really annoyed with what seems to me as the increasing glorifying of infidelity. I know it’s not reported as such but what I think is happening is a lot of people are seeing this stuff all over the news and are not disgusted by this behavior anymore. Moreover, I think a growing percentage are approving of it. I’ve heard and read people talking about how they wished they could be Tiger or many of these other guys. It’s amazing how desensitized we’ve become to what used to be utterly deplorable behavior. My how times have changed.
I realize cheating has been going on since before the toga times but I’m afraid that before too long it’s going to be thought of as a “cool” thing to do, if it’s not already. I’m not against being with lots of people, but for Pete’s sake, don’t get married and do that. Don’t get seriously involved and then do someone wrong like that. If you are single and want to juggle a dozen relationships, more power to you. I could never do that but if you can and want to, enjoy yourself. I don’t feel like anyone should be involved with more than one person at a time, but that’s just me. I hate to say it, but I am old fashioned that way.
Speaking of which, do you remember watching television when we were younger and they always made a big deal out of “going steady”? A guy would give a girl a pin, his jacket, or some little trinket to let her know she was his only girl. Do you remember when people looked at getting married as more of the sacred institution it was meant to be? It astonishes me how frivolously people jump into marriages these days. I know people who’ve gotten married within mere months of dating. I know even more people who’ve gotten engaged within a few months of dating. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong because I’m not in your shoes but to someone analytical like I am, I can’t believe it or understand it. How can you know someone that well after a dozen weeks? The statistics back me up as there are now more divorces than ever. As of now, nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce and more than that, marriages on the whole have declined over the years. So basically less people are getting married, and more people are divorcing.
Why has this occurred? I think it’s a byproduct of our lifestyle. Go to the supermarket and see how many different breads you can get. Do you remember when your choices were 4 or 5 types of bread? Now you can get 30 different kinds! We have a ton of choices out there when we are making the most minor decisions. The fact is we have a ton of choices in many aspects of our lives and I think that freedom impacts our thinking in other areas. I mean, we live in buffet times. We have so many options that some people want to try them all, or as many as they can. If they don't they feel like they may be missing out on something. This can develop greed, selfishness and overindulging. People like me who often finds one thing I really like and stick with it are deemed boring. Perhaps people feel the same way about their choices for sex, mates or relationships. They want it all. That's wonderful for you but please don't deceive or prey on those who want it the other way. Some people's meaningless "fun" ruins other people's serious lives.
Marriage seems as unimportant now as it has ever been. I’m not the religious sort who has some biblical definition of marriage, nor am I a social conservative who doesn’t want gays and lesbians to marry but one thing I agree with them on is that I hold marriage to be a beautiful, special and sacred thing. That’s what I feel. I think it’s the highest compliment you can give to another person. It’s an investment and you are going all in. It’s telling someone that you want to give the rest of your life to them. It’s unselfish, heartfelt and the ultimate promise. To me, it’s life as art. I think of a great marriage like I would a piece of great art. I look upon it the same admiration and respect. With all these divorces and the infidelity it’s like someone is running through the art museum drawing evil mustaches on all the artwork. Now it seems, forever is only a year or two.
Perhaps this bothers me too much. I’ve certainly been called an idealist on more than one occasion. Maybe I’ve seen too many old movies this year. Perhaps I am a dying breed. I just want I do to mean everything I do should mean instead of I think so, or I do until something better comes along or I’ll give it a try. As one of my great mentors once famously said, do or do not… there is no try. See, the 900 year old little green alien with the pointy ears gets it.
