Today I applied to a new University, in a new province. Let's hope I get in.

I've been listening to Eve6 a lot lately, that usually means I'm coming out of a rut. You guys might get to see more of me soon. Sorry I've been away, haven't had any desire to do anything.
Right now I'm figuring out my life, it's a stressful place to be!

So I just came from a meeting with my new tattoo artist, and I must say, right now I'm a huge fan! Not only is he a great artist who has far exceeded what I wanted for my next piece, he's helping me fix my old piece. Not only that but he seems like a great guy and someone I will be comfortable with getting a lot more work done.
I'll be sure to share whatever else I get for it. As for now we're testing to see if we can brighten up(or cover) the black in the old piece. So excited!

I also think he's going to try to push me to try to be a suicide girl... haha and I'm weak, and I've already contemplated it heavily... so...

Every day I am away I want to hold you a minute in my arms

I've been away for so long, and the last few times I've been here have been brief and distant. I'm sorry for any of my friends who have been missing me. I've just been really backed up with school work and TRYING to find some way to pay my rent.
I'll probably be making more regular appearances soon.

I want to pick up and run away and leave this all behind.

Fuck you you damn arrogant selfish drunken mother fucker. How DARE you excommunicate me from your life act like it's all okay and then when I finally find peace and happiness come and tear that all apart. How DARE you call me and get mad at me for being in your dreams, tell me how you miss me when all I ever did was help you, all I ever did was be there for you. How DARE you you fucking piece of shit ruin my happiness after all I have done for you? You deserve your pain. I want to attack you so you can feel all the agony I feel every time I think of you. I hate you. I hate you so much. And what makes it worse is how much I still love you.

/rant

Employed. Just finished my first day on my own in the store.
Enjoying the job, really chill, I have tons of time to write and do homework!

Today I made the decision. I'm going to dread my hair.

Text message I just got:
My reservation for seeing you is because I'm enlisting this month. I don't want to fall in love with you again.

Which prompted this short poem:
//Harder than Heartbreak//
the reason we're ending:
because you're enlisting


And got this message in response:
You're breaking up with a man/woman because he's enlisting? hahahahaha you're the stupidest person ever. i bet you'll play it off as "oh so sad" and tragic on your part also. cunt.

So I had to reply:
interesting...
perhaps you should learn a little bit more about situations before you jump to any conclusions. I'm not in a relationship, and thus could not possibly be breaking up with someone. This poem was a direct response to receiving this message from my ex-fiance:

My reservation for seeing you is that I'm enlisting this month and I don’t want to fall in love with you again.

Which comes a week after we started talking again. Therefore, what is ending is the potential for us to be together, not a relationship.

But thank you for your riveting and intelligent response.



I don't want to live on this planet anymore.