I have never posted anything serious on any blog or really been a big blogger in any way. I can't help but vent about my current situation, one reason is that I don't have any real close friends. Strangers & the alias based identity of the internet provide a nice outlet....

My wife has been very depressed for a long time & is currently contemplating ending our marriage. Like any man I have my own failings as a husband & this has been a giant wake up call to address these issues. I really feel like if we make it through this we will be twice as healthy & prepared to tackle life together.
I have told her that my current mental state is close to that of someone who has a near death experience... I have a renewed appreciation for life. This sucks because part of this means that when I look at her I absolutely melt, I love her more than ever.
I both dread & look forward to the times when I see her. I dread it because I don't know what is going on in her head & I look forward to it because she is a great person in every way imaginable. I actually respect her for going through this life crisis, it is part of what makes her a good person. She doesn't just float through life, she is almost too intelligent & perceptive for her own good.
Anyway, I am very depressed. I told her the other day that I couldn't even fathom that I haven't kissed her for going on two months. Wish me luck on getting the next "first kiss".