I still don't have a job or life as of this moment, if there's anything to redeem this scenario it's that I have a history of burning chicken giblets.

You see, when I purchase a whole chicken and cut it apart, I boil or fry the heart, liver, and gizzard to give to my cats, as I do not like these bits and my cats don't like them raw. Trouble is with the ADD I have now forgotten that I had them going on the stove at least a half dozen times and burnt them. Tonight I was watching Serenity and heard this odd hissing and spitting sound coming from the kitchen. This of course was my chicken giblets having been left on the stove for about three hours.

Not having a life has also afforded me the opportunity to discover that one can cook with tea lights. Just put them in the burner of a gas stove and use them instead of gas. It takes a long time to cook with them, As in at least 75 minutes or so. Also you need to use a wide flat pan, not a tall saucepan, to capture all the available heat from the tealights. Problem that eventually develops however is that you will build up a layer of spilled paraffin filled with black crud underneath the burner, and eventually what happens is that when you're using the actual gas the spilled paraffin melts and the odd things that settle in it catch fire and you get jets of flame shooting up from underneath your cookware, which is pretty exciting but rather hazardous and stands as a recommendation to either not cook with tea lights or else to make a point of scraping out any spilled paraffin that settles in the bottom of the burner.

IF you've read this far, you clearly don't have a life either. I'm very sorry.