No update in ages... No wonder I've never been into blogging.
I had an odd experience the other day... While heading to work, I got really horny and felt the urge to masturbate, a very strong urge to just go into a field across from where I was and strip and sate my urges... I knew it was crazy and I had to hold my backpack in front of my bulge for a while till it passed.
It's never something I've done, and still haven't... but perhaps it was a sign to analyze less and follow my urges more. I am a raging mass of surpressed and unfufilled desires inside, maybe.
I had an odd experience the other day... While heading to work, I got really horny and felt the urge to masturbate, a very strong urge to just go into a field across from where I was and strip and sate my urges... I knew it was crazy and I had to hold my backpack in front of my bulge for a while till it passed.
It's never something I've done, and still haven't... but perhaps it was a sign to analyze less and follow my urges more. I am a raging mass of surpressed and unfufilled desires inside, maybe.
By popular demand, I am overcoming the strong force in the universe (the slack force) and updating my journal!
Lets see... I should get new glasses and I definitely need new shoes. Im a conservative sort of fellow, but the basic sort of Nike sneaker I like, a simple nylon one, is no longer on the market, so I have to change, and change is always hard. Do I find something new, for a new look, or just something as close as possible? Same for glasses frames. Maybe try narrow Emo style ones, though the closest I come to Emo is Emo Phillips songs.
I was dumped from the SG-AZ group, which I understand... even before recent turmoil in my family life kept me from posting much of anything anywhere (which has thankfully passed), I was never able to even think about getting all the way across the valley to Phoenix for any of the get-togethers. Are there any SG-oriented events or destinations in the Chandler region?
I havent done anything even remotely kinky in months. I should get a digital camera to indulge my exhibitionism, at least. It seems too extravagant for just that, and Im not much into photography otherwise.
Reading: The Cusp, a really big sci-fi transhuman novel and Phoenix and Ashes, a very interesting Cinderella tale in the WWI era with secret magic.
Watching: RE: Cutey Honey, the latest version of Go Nagais sexy heroine. Shes the only anime protaganist I can think of with a smart mouth, one who makes fun of her enemies the way Spider-Man does. Gundam SEED, and Gundam SEED Destiny (Watching the latter carefully, so as not to spoil the former).
Playing: Xenosaga Episode II. I pity the people who work in evil spaceships, since they must have to go through the same trouble the party does when they want to just go get some coffee... adjusting weights on elevators, sliding blocks to make bridges, going up and down a dozen travel chutes... how does anything get done?
Lets see... I should get new glasses and I definitely need new shoes. Im a conservative sort of fellow, but the basic sort of Nike sneaker I like, a simple nylon one, is no longer on the market, so I have to change, and change is always hard. Do I find something new, for a new look, or just something as close as possible? Same for glasses frames. Maybe try narrow Emo style ones, though the closest I come to Emo is Emo Phillips songs.
I was dumped from the SG-AZ group, which I understand... even before recent turmoil in my family life kept me from posting much of anything anywhere (which has thankfully passed), I was never able to even think about getting all the way across the valley to Phoenix for any of the get-togethers. Are there any SG-oriented events or destinations in the Chandler region?
I havent done anything even remotely kinky in months. I should get a digital camera to indulge my exhibitionism, at least. It seems too extravagant for just that, and Im not much into photography otherwise.
Reading: The Cusp, a really big sci-fi transhuman novel and Phoenix and Ashes, a very interesting Cinderella tale in the WWI era with secret magic.
Watching: RE: Cutey Honey, the latest version of Go Nagais sexy heroine. Shes the only anime protaganist I can think of with a smart mouth, one who makes fun of her enemies the way Spider-Man does. Gundam SEED, and Gundam SEED Destiny (Watching the latter carefully, so as not to spoil the former).
Playing: Xenosaga Episode II. I pity the people who work in evil spaceships, since they must have to go through the same trouble the party does when they want to just go get some coffee... adjusting weights on elevators, sliding blocks to make bridges, going up and down a dozen travel chutes... how does anything get done?
Well, it's Valentine's Day, never a happy holiday for me, due to my complete social ineptitude... never a sad one either, I guess, since I'm used to said ineptitiude. And isn't that much sadder? Plus other troubles had me late to work and late getting home. Bleh.
I went ahead and did something I've been thinking about for a long time... I put up a small set of photos of myself stripping out of my clothes in my folder and on the V&E group. It's a drop in the ocean among so many lovely naked people here, but a big step forward for me... I used to be very shy about nudity and my body.
But bit by bit, that's been changing. I'm doing a lot of things that I used to consider "dirty" or "perverted" in the last couple of years and liking it. I can't wait to see what's next.
When I joined SG not too long ago, I wondered if I would fit in with all the cool, "alternative" people who made up the site. I found that I share a lot of the same naughty interests as the fine folk here though, and while I may be weird now, I'm not alone.
My, another self-important rant... thanks for reading. And I apologize for the poor quality of my new front pic. I just can't get it cropped well.
But bit by bit, that's been changing. I'm doing a lot of things that I used to consider "dirty" or "perverted" in the last couple of years and liking it. I can't wait to see what's next.
When I joined SG not too long ago, I wondered if I would fit in with all the cool, "alternative" people who made up the site. I found that I share a lot of the same naughty interests as the fine folk here though, and while I may be weird now, I'm not alone.
My, another self-important rant... thanks for reading. And I apologize for the poor quality of my new front pic. I just can't get it cropped well.
I found myself ranting on the Plus-Sized Women group, having been upset at some of the comments the ladies made about how they feel about themselves, or about unkind words from others. I got on really on a passionate tear as I wrote, which is somewhat rare, so I decided to post it here too.
I do not enjoy looking at all the women who post sets here because they are PSWs, I do it because they, because YOU, are beautiful. I do not see myself as having any sort of fetish. You are normal. You are real.
The "ideal beauties" that you are compared against (including by youselves, sometimes), are not normal and not real. They are living special effects, created through intense, obsessive (and unhealthy) effort. Using them as a standard of comparison is about as valid as someone wondering why they can't swing from buildings as well as Spider-Man can.
Some of you are deeply hurt by random shouted comments from people... That makes me furious. But I've learned something. Those people DO NOT MATTER. I have had insults screamed at me from passing cars and passing people for doing such socially unacceptable things as A) riding a bike B) walking down the sidewalk C) waiting for a bus, and I'm pretty nondescript. Unfortunately, society is plagued with a vocal minority of mouth-breathing cretins who either have drank/snorted away any impulse control at all or are so pathetic that they can only feel big be belitting someone else. It is not you they want to hurt, and not because of your size. It is anyone, for any reason at all.
I do not enjoy looking at all the women who post sets here because they are PSWs, I do it because they, because YOU, are beautiful. I do not see myself as having any sort of fetish. You are normal. You are real.
The "ideal beauties" that you are compared against (including by youselves, sometimes), are not normal and not real. They are living special effects, created through intense, obsessive (and unhealthy) effort. Using them as a standard of comparison is about as valid as someone wondering why they can't swing from buildings as well as Spider-Man can.
Some of you are deeply hurt by random shouted comments from people... That makes me furious. But I've learned something. Those people DO NOT MATTER. I have had insults screamed at me from passing cars and passing people for doing such socially unacceptable things as A) riding a bike B) walking down the sidewalk C) waiting for a bus, and I'm pretty nondescript. Unfortunately, society is plagued with a vocal minority of mouth-breathing cretins who either have drank/snorted away any impulse control at all or are so pathetic that they can only feel big be belitting someone else. It is not you they want to hurt, and not because of your size. It is anyone, for any reason at all.
Merry Christmas all! I had a happy holiday together with my parents and brothers. I gave and recieved many wonderful presents... Hmmm. I hope this isn't too sugary for a SG journal entry.
I did have some pre-holiday stress and wondering though. "I'm only OK... should I be happier?" sorts of things.
I did have some pre-holiday stress and wondering though. "I'm only OK... should I be happier?" sorts of things.
I finally was able to take a picture of myself that I liked to use here! But it's the wrong size to fit in my pic on the left... well, it's in my photo section! It was fun to do it... I'll have to do more, circumstances allowing. It took a lot of tries to get just one decent one (so to speak). My hat is off to all the pro and am photographers who do sets here!
I finally was able to take a picture of myself that I liked to use here! But it's the wrong size to fit in my pic on the left... well, it's in my photo section! It was fun to do it... I'll have to do more!
Happy Halloween, belatedly. As per my usual social ineptitude and isolation, I stayed home to give out candy. Good turnout though, about 80 kids. No exceptional costumes. My brother in CA saw someone dressed as Hobbes the tiger with a little stuffed Calvin though, which sounds cool.
Up next, election day! Do your civic duty and vote for the red guy, the blue guy, the green guy or another choice! With enough turnout, hopefully we will only have one day of election coverage and can keep the lawyers at home!
Up next, election day! Do your civic duty and vote for the red guy, the blue guy, the green guy or another choice! With enough turnout, hopefully we will only have one day of election coverage and can keep the lawyers at home!
Hmmm, dating status on my profile. Interesting, and something that excites me, despite the unlikelyhood of actually finding anyone, and my many social drawbacks that get in the day of dating and other fun. Plus I can never sum up what I want or who I am very well, since I'm diverse and want to cover all the bases, yet am a perfectionist about it and like run-on sentances. I do get anal about such things though... have to work on it more, and stay optimistic.
I do get anal about such things though... have to work on it more, and stay optimistic.