Jisei no ku
Sit beneath the tree
The first sakura blossoms
Open under me
Sea of white above my head
In a week the petals fall
Sit beneath the tree
The first sakura blossoms
Open under me
Sea of white above my head
In a week the petals fall
Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned... (Introduction)
Father Murphy's hands trembled as he poured scotch into a tumbler. He downed it like water and filled the tumbler again. Then he sat down to write. This is what he wrote:
Father Murphy's hands trembled as he poured scotch into a tumbler. He downed it like water and filled the tumbler again. Then he sat down to write. This is what he wrote:
My name is Father Richard Murphy. I am the associate pastor for St. Josaphat Catholic Parish, in Lincoln Park, Chicago, Illinois. I am currently 28 years old. I've been Catholic my whole life. I was taught my whole life that priests acted as stand-ins for Christ. I never knew how accurate that statement was until I was ordained to the priesthood myself. Jesus had to bear our sins on the cross, and I find myself bearing the sins of my parishoners at this very moment. Every time I take a confession, the burden grows. I have asked God to remove this burden, and I have prayed to St. John Vianney to petition God on my behalf to remove this burden. So far, I have had no answer, and I am at my breaking point.
I have heard things that you would not believe. Such terrible things. It has caused me to no longer see humanity as the blessed creation of God but some infernal clockwork machine, bent on destroying everything beautiful in God's creation. I have heard such evil that I could not imagine even hell being capable of... I can bear it no longer.
In the entire Roman Catholic Church, there is one sin that is seen as the most severe. You must be a priest to commit this sin, because it involves priestly duties. Breaking the Seal of the Confessional is punishable by automatic excommunication, and only the Holy Father himself can lift it. The lifting of such an excommunication involves a heavy pennance, usually involving removing the penitent's authority to ever hear confessions again, and an extended stay in a monastary. In this journal, I intend to break that seal. Hell, I don't intend to break it as much as obliterate it. The reasons why will become apparent enough as I go along.
I have heard such terrible stories in the confessional. Such terrible stories. I don't know where to begin...
The priest put the glass up to his lips, but it was empty. He refilled it from the bottle he had on his desk, and then started writing again.
The Moirae, Part One: Clotho
The Spinner, with her distaff, spins the thread
Spins torment, disappointment, but pleasure?
Daughter of Nix spins no joy in the dread
Spinning my life, it seems at her leisure
Melancholy threads, continuing strife
Adversaries without, demons within
The Spinner of threads spins a weary life
Perhaps preemptive for whatever sin
The Spinner does not know of the thread's length
That is for another sister to tell
Nor would I guess she knows of the thread's strength
It's unlikely that any know that well
I sit in silence and hope for the best
The other sisters take care of the rest
_______________________
Yeah, I know it's a bit mopey and slightly emo (if you can call a poem that strictly follows the English sonnet form, uses the word "melancholy", and references Greek mythology "emo"), but it's my first attempt at poetry in five years, so give me a break, eh?
The Spinner, with her distaff, spins the thread
Spins torment, disappointment, but pleasure?
Daughter of Nix spins no joy in the dread
Spinning my life, it seems at her leisure
Melancholy threads, continuing strife
Adversaries without, demons within
The Spinner of threads spins a weary life
Perhaps preemptive for whatever sin
The Spinner does not know of the thread's length
That is for another sister to tell
Nor would I guess she knows of the thread's strength
It's unlikely that any know that well
I sit in silence and hope for the best
The other sisters take care of the rest
_______________________
Yeah, I know it's a bit mopey and slightly emo (if you can call a poem that strictly follows the English sonnet form, uses the word "melancholy", and references Greek mythology "emo"), but it's my first attempt at poetry in five years, so give me a break, eh?
So... I'm going to Chicago on Saturday night, and I'm taking Krissy with me. Krissy, if you don't know, is this girl I've known for six years. I've also wanted romantic involvement with her for six years. She's absolutely gorgeous, funny, nice, sweet, and anything else that you could ask for in a woman.
We're going to go to all the clubs, and not pay any covers because she knows everyone. My goal? To keep the assholes off her and to talk more about us, so I can figure out what she wants and if it is what I want.
Anyhow, I must sleep.
We're going to go to all the clubs, and not pay any covers because she knows everyone. My goal? To keep the assholes off her and to talk more about us, so I can figure out what she wants and if it is what I want.
Anyhow, I must sleep.
Wow...
I had this fucked up dream. Really fucked up. Really fucked up, and I had no control over it. I was dreaming that I was in Colleyville, TX, hanging out with a friend of mine who lives there. Now, I find this friend to be one of the most beautiful girls I've ever laid eyes on. Anyhow, stuff happened, and we ended up fucking. She complained about it being painful, but she squirted at the end of it. Then, I found out that she was 14, even though she had told me she was 18. I believe that at least one other person was in the room, watching. It may have been her sister. I don't know.
Yeah... Really fucked up dream.
I had this fucked up dream. Really fucked up. Really fucked up, and I had no control over it. I was dreaming that I was in Colleyville, TX, hanging out with a friend of mine who lives there. Now, I find this friend to be one of the most beautiful girls I've ever laid eyes on. Anyhow, stuff happened, and we ended up fucking. She complained about it being painful, but she squirted at the end of it. Then, I found out that she was 14, even though she had told me she was 18. I believe that at least one other person was in the room, watching. It may have been her sister. I don't know.
Yeah... Really fucked up dream.
w00t!!!
I got to hang out with my ex Cari. I'm still madly in love with her, and the last time we got to hang out sicne we broke up, she told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship. But this time, I think things are different... Firstly, she was making physical contact with me more often. She stayed in extremely close proximity to me. She also wore a short skirt and would bend down in a way that gave me a nice view of her panties and ass. She also insisted on going up a few flights of stairs first, which allowed me some nice views up her skirt. I don't think that this was accidental. I also don't think that her flirtiness was just being playful, because she knows that I still have feelings for her. I think she wants to get back together with me,
In other news, Megan III wants to get back together with me, too. I admit, I kind of led her on when I was a bit drunk, but that was over a month ago. We slept together twice, and then haven't seen each other since. She has a hectic work and school schedule, and I'm working whenever she has off. I considered both times we fucked to be flings, because we never actually discussed getting back together. So, in my mind, I'm still single. I need to talk to Megan, though, and explain to her that our schedules conflict too much, and that I can't do this.
I got to hang out with my ex Cari. I'm still madly in love with her, and the last time we got to hang out sicne we broke up, she told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship. But this time, I think things are different... Firstly, she was making physical contact with me more often. She stayed in extremely close proximity to me. She also wore a short skirt and would bend down in a way that gave me a nice view of her panties and ass. She also insisted on going up a few flights of stairs first, which allowed me some nice views up her skirt. I don't think that this was accidental. I also don't think that her flirtiness was just being playful, because she knows that I still have feelings for her. I think she wants to get back together with me,
In other news, Megan III wants to get back together with me, too. I admit, I kind of led her on when I was a bit drunk, but that was over a month ago. We slept together twice, and then haven't seen each other since. She has a hectic work and school schedule, and I'm working whenever she has off. I considered both times we fucked to be flings, because we never actually discussed getting back together. So, in my mind, I'm still single. I need to talk to Megan, though, and explain to her that our schedules conflict too much, and that I can't do this.
it's time for me to bitch and moan a bit...
I use a WLAN connection to get on the Internet. It's aggrivating, at times, because the signal is crappy, but that's not what I want to bitch about.
DRM. I fucking hate DRM. I hate it with a passion. Apparently, Blu-Ray and HD-DVD are going to have DRM in them that restricts what kinds of screens you can view them on. If your screen (or video card AND monitor) isn't compatible, then you're stuck watching it in DVD quality. I'll bet that the only reason that they are doing this is because the movie studios are strong-arming them into it. The killer part? It's a felony AND a federal offence to circumvent DRM. If I own a legal copy of a movie, TV show, or CD, shouldn't I be able to watch it or listen to it on whatever I want? If I can't afford to get a brand spanking new GPU and monitor to go with my Blu-Ray drive, then why should I be penalized? Fuck that shit. I'm going to boycott the MPAA, the RIAA, Blu-Ray, HD-DVD, Micorsoft (who I am already boycotting), Sony, and anyone else who is leading the charge in DRM innovation, and I strongly encourage everyone else to do the same. DRM is killing us, and it completely violates the principle of "fair use". If I want to archive copies of my LEGALLY PURCHASED media, who has any business telling me that I can't? I'm not letting other people have access to it. I'm arciving it in case the originals get lost, damaged, or stolen (which has happened before).
If enough people realize what bullshit DRM is, then perhaps we have a chance at getting the trend towards more restrictive and draconian (I'm looking at you, Blu-Ray) DRM reversed. Otherwise, Sony's XCP rootkit is only a grim foreshadowing of what's to come. Intel is starting to incorporate DRM into their chipsets, and Windows Vista (which will be released bundled with Duke Nukem Forever) will have mandatory DRM out of the box.
The Open Source community has gotten very good at circumventing DRM. I suggest that anyone who is looking for a viable alternative to Windows Vista (which, when it actually gets released, seems like it is going to be XP with more eye candy and an ungodly huge footprint) check out Gentoo or Ubuntu Linux. 3D desktop? Vista will have it, but Linux already does. And the 3D desktop in Vista is a resource hog, according to what I've seen of the "release candidates" (in quotes because they so far aren't even worthy of beta testing). Desktop search? You've got it. Sidebar? Yep. You can make Linux into whatever you want it to be with minimal work. I installed Ubuntu on a friend's computer, and he has had very few issues that he's needed my help on. If he does need my help, it's a ten minute phone call, or a remote desktop session, and *BAM*, the problem is fixed.
Windows XP has this problem of not liking being up and running for too long. So it crashes. My Linux machine runs for days on end before I turn it off. So far, it has never crashed unless I've made it crash by doing something stupid that requires sudoing.
Anyhow, DRM sucks, Linux rocks, and everyone should boycott the leaders in advancing DRM technology.
I use a WLAN connection to get on the Internet. It's aggrivating, at times, because the signal is crappy, but that's not what I want to bitch about.
DRM. I fucking hate DRM. I hate it with a passion. Apparently, Blu-Ray and HD-DVD are going to have DRM in them that restricts what kinds of screens you can view them on. If your screen (or video card AND monitor) isn't compatible, then you're stuck watching it in DVD quality. I'll bet that the only reason that they are doing this is because the movie studios are strong-arming them into it. The killer part? It's a felony AND a federal offence to circumvent DRM. If I own a legal copy of a movie, TV show, or CD, shouldn't I be able to watch it or listen to it on whatever I want? If I can't afford to get a brand spanking new GPU and monitor to go with my Blu-Ray drive, then why should I be penalized? Fuck that shit. I'm going to boycott the MPAA, the RIAA, Blu-Ray, HD-DVD, Micorsoft (who I am already boycotting), Sony, and anyone else who is leading the charge in DRM innovation, and I strongly encourage everyone else to do the same. DRM is killing us, and it completely violates the principle of "fair use". If I want to archive copies of my LEGALLY PURCHASED media, who has any business telling me that I can't? I'm not letting other people have access to it. I'm arciving it in case the originals get lost, damaged, or stolen (which has happened before).
If enough people realize what bullshit DRM is, then perhaps we have a chance at getting the trend towards more restrictive and draconian (I'm looking at you, Blu-Ray) DRM reversed. Otherwise, Sony's XCP rootkit is only a grim foreshadowing of what's to come. Intel is starting to incorporate DRM into their chipsets, and Windows Vista (which will be released bundled with Duke Nukem Forever) will have mandatory DRM out of the box.
The Open Source community has gotten very good at circumventing DRM. I suggest that anyone who is looking for a viable alternative to Windows Vista (which, when it actually gets released, seems like it is going to be XP with more eye candy and an ungodly huge footprint) check out Gentoo or Ubuntu Linux. 3D desktop? Vista will have it, but Linux already does. And the 3D desktop in Vista is a resource hog, according to what I've seen of the "release candidates" (in quotes because they so far aren't even worthy of beta testing). Desktop search? You've got it. Sidebar? Yep. You can make Linux into whatever you want it to be with minimal work. I installed Ubuntu on a friend's computer, and he has had very few issues that he's needed my help on. If he does need my help, it's a ten minute phone call, or a remote desktop session, and *BAM*, the problem is fixed.
Windows XP has this problem of not liking being up and running for too long. So it crashes. My Linux machine runs for days on end before I turn it off. So far, it has never crashed unless I've made it crash by doing something stupid that requires sudoing.
Anyhow, DRM sucks, Linux rocks, and everyone should boycott the leaders in advancing DRM technology.
So, my former roommate has been calling me demanding money.
I initially told her that I would pay half this week, half next week. But I've changed my mind. You see, I paid half of the security deposit. Now I no longer live there. She still lives there with a new roommate. So, either her or her new roommate owes me half of the security deposit. She can take out the money for my half of the bills from that. if I don't get the remainder, I am going to be a dick and o to court for the entire amount I paid for the security deposit.
I initially told her that I would pay half this week, half next week. But I've changed my mind. You see, I paid half of the security deposit. Now I no longer live there. She still lives there with a new roommate. So, either her or her new roommate owes me half of the security deposit. She can take out the money for my half of the bills from that. if I don't get the remainder, I am going to be a dick and o to court for the entire amount I paid for the security deposit.
Teh sex!!!!
Okay, so my prospects for getting laid have gone up since I've moved. I'm having my gorgeous friend Susie over tonight to hang out, and we're probably going to end up going for a soak in the hot tub. I know that she finds me attractive because I could smell her getting horny when I was massaging her feet that one night... Now, the hot tub is where 99% of erotic encounters occur in the erotica I read. It's probably not gong to lead to anything, to be honest, but one can always hope.
If that's not enough, I'm going to see my friend Linda next week. She's camping at Devil's Lake State Park in Wisconsin. We met at a conference, and I'm positive that we would have ended up sleeping with each other if I hadn't had a girlfriend. Well, I'm single now, and I find her to be incredibly attractive. So I'm going to go over there and see if we can't continue where we left off in South Dakota.
Also, this other girl named Irene, who lives in either Georgia or Maryland, wants to do me. She'll be in Chicago in three weeks or so, and I'm going to meet her at her hotel, where we'll probably fuck, and then drive her to Rockford, to the house. She wants to fuck in the hot tub, and she is up for anything... Yummy.
*raises glass* Here's to more booty!
Okay, so my prospects for getting laid have gone up since I've moved. I'm having my gorgeous friend Susie over tonight to hang out, and we're probably going to end up going for a soak in the hot tub. I know that she finds me attractive because I could smell her getting horny when I was massaging her feet that one night... Now, the hot tub is where 99% of erotic encounters occur in the erotica I read. It's probably not gong to lead to anything, to be honest, but one can always hope.
If that's not enough, I'm going to see my friend Linda next week. She's camping at Devil's Lake State Park in Wisconsin. We met at a conference, and I'm positive that we would have ended up sleeping with each other if I hadn't had a girlfriend. Well, I'm single now, and I find her to be incredibly attractive. So I'm going to go over there and see if we can't continue where we left off in South Dakota.
Also, this other girl named Irene, who lives in either Georgia or Maryland, wants to do me. She'll be in Chicago in three weeks or so, and I'm going to meet her at her hotel, where we'll probably fuck, and then drive her to Rockford, to the house. She wants to fuck in the hot tub, and she is up for anything... Yummy.
*raises glass* Here's to more booty!
SEPTEMBER 2008
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AUGUST 2008
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JULY 2008
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JUNE 2008