In previous times, my blog was a good source of me letting my thoughts out and kinda therapeutic so maybe, I'll be going back to my old ways being that certain situations has led me back here...its cool though.

I'm just looking forward to Christmas vacation. Just want to disassociate myself from work, bf, and other things that have been a drag as of lately. I know Im starting to keep my distance and its something I dont like to do but I feel, in order to get respect, I have to make them see, every action has a reaction...being nice doesnt get you anywhere, just getting taken advantage of mostly. Want to toughen up a bit which Itll naturally happen with time..

So going out with my girlfriends needs to happen..which Im happy they want to..
All of us are so caught up in our little world and we hardly had anytime for us to hang.
Anyways, how do you tell someone to cut down on their drinking?
Call me crazy but a 12 pack of Coors lite, to me is alot for 1 sitting...for 1 person.
Sure, we all have daily stress but thats no excuse..or maybe they have more problems that I dont even know about or wouldnt understand for them to do this 2 days outta the week on a weekly basis.
All I know its just causing some friction in the relationship, and damage is being done.
Im thinking about keeping distant and let him set his priorities on his own. Its too much for me to be involved with.
Havent had a complete year without some kind of negative hit..
I cant be the only one.

See how pans out..better be for the better.

Bad of me to neglect my blog...just haven't had much thoughts to drot down.
Still don't.
Trying to get over this flu...and I got somewhat paranoid at one point..bird flu, west nile virus, ..where did this sick feeling come from?...Just the change of weather here in NY..I hear it'll be 80 tomorrow and this whole week was around 60ish..what gives?...ah well...think the flu hits us once a year..atleast.

Girls can be out right stupid...Im one of them.

Hate the heatwave..2 days straight...sucks.


NOT much to write...nice and sweet Im keeping it.

Someone's pissing me off......................why dont they see how its affecting me?
And if they do see, why do they think im losing it thanks to their insensitivity?

I use to be tough as nails..whatever you say bounces off but as of lately..Im just taking things very personal and I sulk...think I have to get my confidence level way up and give the finger to the world..many do that and I envy them so..in due time, I can be what Im truly am..have the cojones and not give a shit what people do or think when it comes to me.

Time away makes everything alright. I guess.

Tomorrow is the graduation for the NYPD.
I will be there to see him and cheer him on.
He so deserves it.
A man that's so committed and confident is very sexy.

Atlantic City was ok...lost 40 bucks.
Went to the Ripley's Museum..13 bucks was well worth..Just dont make faces at this 1 mirror because on the other side people are mocking you..I didnt fall for it.
I wanted to join this duo on the boardwalk..but I have no experience in playing any instruments..it consisted of 2 old men with a busted guitar, amp and excellent drumming. Like a poor version of Blondie..ah well..

Beer is so and I mean so hard to find in AC...took us 2 hrs to locate a liquor store...it was outlandish. But gas was somewhat cheaper..good and bad of that situation.

My last year to be in my twenties.. ..not a big deal like some idiots have made it to be ..coworkers can be cruel..Im like fine beer I mean wine..I taste better with age. or I get better..either one is ok with me.
Is it ok to say I dont remember much from age 21 -25?
Its a blur.

Day 1 of work free week.

I wanted to sleep in but hell thats never possible as my body has its automatic alarm that just makes me jump up at 8:30am everyday. All I need is 5hrs of sleep and Im alright.
I wish it was much more but I dont work that way, so eh.
The weather is so unbelievable, makes this one go happy for no reason. Driving with all windows open whilst driver is illegally driving, I mean speeding through the pull over for emergency side of the highway is the shit. Dangerous but the rush is extreme..lightweight but still. I gasped but he reminded me, hey we'd still be back there..true!
James Dean came to mind...woah...you can test your car for so long,..although he mustve been intoxicated or not still...use caution I say, its a weapon.

My Easter was fresh..Havent been to mass since Christmas..pathetic I know but I have him in my heart so thats all that matters. Got my boy to go to..both lenient when it comes to it and he felt better. His cough miraculously healed. So divine intervention does occur.
Then off to have some big breakfast...I was hungry!...We reserved a table for 8..he was rushing me though cause he had a tire to change, car to get washed and some heavy studying to do. He gets me all rild up but I have to understand but it doesnt show that I do. Space is very valuable but with him I dont mind sharing...just when we have our tiny bouts..get the fuck away from me but inside Im like Nooo..dont. Females and Males have a huge communication gap..much as we try to work it, not possible. We weren't mean to comprehend each others doings, and whatnot. Oh yeah..ass looking is not right with me..even a ghetto chick's nasty ass in spandex. Can you fellas control your eyes? Although if I see vomit on the floor I will sneak a peek..so I guess this I can understand. HA!..Guess its relative..ass & puke.
Enough of that..which was the cause of a bad night, a week ago..I balled, had no control which pissed me off.. he didnt do nothing apparently, I threw some hurtful stuff, it made him realize, I was upset. Im just someone you dont fuck around with,..so if he stays after all that, he must love me.
I dont think anyone would tolerate my wrath but I had reasons and even sacrificed my 4 dollar peach smoothie with whipped cream on top to a tree, hoping some would richote back to him...felt good. I need that.
Everything is fine now..he knows where I stand. Had him on "probation" and just yesterday gave him back my key to my house for good behaviour. He aint a punk, just when it comes to his woman, respect is the ultimate. Thats all I want.
Im done teaching.


Anyways...dont know why all that came out but..it did.
Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Hooray its Wednesday!
Im on vacation starting 3 hrs ago.
I will be bored by the end of next week.
oh well...

Spring cleaning should be a blast.

Sucks when a nice juicy papercut gets all dry after applying a bandaid...then bandaid starts coming off and its been a long day..time to take that nice shower...washing the hair and a strand of hair a long one at that gets into the cut and goes in and out all the way through.
My toes curled.
Ok so saturday will be very busy so gonna start my day like a weekday and get my ass going...and of course when the bf has to do something/s as in errands, he expects me to string along..which I dont mind but we are only 5 months into relationship and yet people think we act like a married couple. If this is like married life, my goodness. Enjoy your independence. Dont get me wrong, its not that bad but you gotta share your time , stop being selfish.* mental note*
Lastly..he's a mets freak..I am not...I like baseball but damn he loves it. You know what they say about sport fans..you will take the backseat when it comes to the games.
So true..ah well you take the good with the bad you take them all..hmm isnt this a theme song to some 80's show..?