Man today I feel about 100..... did not have a good nights sleep. However I did buy my tickets to NZ today and we are doing a stop over in LA... Wicked cool... I am terrified of the flying tho.... think I am gonna need elephant tranqs or something..
I have so gotta go find some food.... but I just know nothing in the house is gonna be what I actually want to eat.. I hate that..
There was this little cat outside my back door last night (mind I have a huge, eat the kitties dog) and it was meowing like it wanted to come in... for ages!! Then it went into my garden and started to a) fight or b) fuck another cat.. and was making that scary cat noise thats like a scary child crying... man that freaks me out soooooo much. Actually my dog doesn't really wanna eat the kitties I think she just wants to .... erm play and make friends..
I let my dog out this morning n got distracted with booking tickets n FORGOT SHE WAS OUTSIDE lol.... she was all wet cos it rained!! But actually happy cos she likes the garden... but what a stupid thing to do huh? Was just so busy... man animal cruelty time..oh it was only for bout 30 mins tho.
It was so sunny here yesterday... I love the sun, shame I am gonna be visiting NZ in the fucking winter huh??? Bugger.... oh well...lol
Right I am rambling tooooo much today... I gotta get off n EAT!! Peace n hugs xxx

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FuCKING LOVE MY LIFE!!! Wow things have been so up n down but since I met the new man, lots of heartache n pain but... what can I say WOW! I suffer with anxiety.... anyone who knows what its like will understand that it SUCKS.. But have been taking a bit more care of myself and really working hard to beat this shit.. and the love of my life UNDERSTANDS... Its awsome... doing really really well... better than ever I think...
I sold my horse at the weekend so yes... I AM GOING TO NEW ZEALAND!! And taking the Mr to be with me... for a whole month... We are gonna be so broke when we get back but its now or never you know?? I am soooo sooo scared of flying... I am really cluostrophobic (cant spell!!hee hee) But will have my gorgeous man with me so if I start wigging out he can... I dunno, slap me or take me to the toilets and fuck me (sure fire way of easing an anxiety attack lol).... shhhh would never do that on an airline...lol God I am on a high today...
STILL have the sucky cold tho... gggrrrr hate it... but its getting better and I gave it to everyone else which always cheers me up... I like to share you know?
I have decided to take my final exams for my old course... last year was a BAD year and did not take them.... was so fed up and it just was not the time.... But now getting my life in order and rediscovering my spiritual side (eeeek going all hippy tree shite on your asses) .... MAN this is a rant huh? Right off to buy the gorgeous one SG membership... he he he it's his birthday next week!! Its not his main pressie but something nice he should get today... Like a pre-birthday surprise... I am so loved up it's sickening Well I hope evryong else is good and remember, enjoy life.. It's way too short... Love n hugs...

well I went out yesterday and ended up meeting someone for a beer at half 4.... finally left the pub at 12 wearing different clothes and woke up unable to bend my middle finger... typing is fun!! Lol..... .I have a cold and feel a bit miserable right now... oh well.... cant wait for the man to come home from work and make me dinner.... cuteness... I need warm hugs and hot lemon and stuff

Well I got seriously drunk on sun night.... again... it is becoming a sun thing I think... I am still a bit worse for wear today but heys.... I went to see therapy? sat night, and they were wicked as always... I am very very happy at the moment, life is good. I have the most amazing friends, they truly are special special people... I love living with my best friend, she rocks... I have lived by myself for a while and with boys, now it is so cool to live with a gir!! We get ready together n if i ask her oppinion she actually gives it.. lol although we have developed a hanger on boy, think he has taken up residencey, but I think he is allowed.... seeing as tho i am gonna be stealing his last name...shhh... he he he, life is a changing....

I'm back!!! I had a wicked time away.... I really really needed a break.. drank lots of cheap wine and saw seals!! Nearly died driving in spain! lol.... I want a seal... so cute... maybe I should just pin my doggies ears back, she kinda looks like a seal!! Well I am off now to buy hair dye and a birthday present for someone... Love n hugs xxx

Everything has been a bit busy n mad.... so sorry not been updating or replying much... hope your all still talking to me!!! Well off to france on tues... yeah I so need a break!! okies well now you have to tell me a) what a good song is right now for you? b) what you should do while listening to it...
Peace n hugs n love

My friend died yesterday morning.

Life is so short. Dont waste it.

I hope that wherever they are they are happier.

Well i am in good mood this week..... I am being taken away to France beginning of April, Switzerland in may and then off to NZ for a month in June.... Yeah.... some people love me, or something... trying to shoot a decent set for SG , damn its hard without resources !! lol
In other news... I have pulled a muscle in my leg... I will not tell you how I pulled it but it really hurts...!! lol and I keep falling asleep on my arms at the moment... like sorta tucked under my head or body... ouch..
I have realised a few things this past week:

1. Some people actually are nice.
2. Sometimes you have to tell yourself you do deserve something.
3. You cant make everyone happy, its a sad fact.
4. and you have to stop feeling guilty about 3. cos you only hurt yourself over and over again trying.
5. Once in a while you meet someone that actually does understand.....

Well I gotta go shower and make myself presentable... xxx hugs xxx

Just had my new David Mack inspired tattoo started today.... goes from back of knee to groin... just outline at mo... Its coolio... I love it.... and kinda felt good with all the shit thats been going on... like a little bit of me time.... lol Love n Hugs xxx Crappy photo in my pics tattoos if ya care x

WOW I have not updated for ages.... My internet has been DOWN!!! AAarrrggghhh...
Well I am starting my leg piece tattoo on thurs... eeekk..
Been a rough while, drank too much, been down, had panic attack, got too hyper, cried, laughed til it hurts and really hurt my knee!!!
Had a sweetie be nice to me which has been good and cheered me up, as these things often do... anyhoos I got a job interview tomorrow and I am cooking right now, ( a lovely meal for housemate xx) So I am off xxxxx Hugs xxxxxx