fuck
shit
cunt
poo
cock
dick
pussy
wet
cock
hard
suck
noone
and there once was a man
meh
bored
shit
crap
can i have a new body
please
shit
cunt
poo
cock
dick
pussy
wet
cock
hard
suck
noone
and there once was a man
meh
bored
shit
crap
can i have a new body
please
So yeh
after a shitty week
i have decided to turn my mobile off for the week
i need some peace and quite from allot of people after all this shit that has happened
i have to go for an MRI scan on my knees this week to see if i need surgery wich just sounds delightful in the funds department
i also have had allot of people basicly spit in my face with our friendships
i do allot of giving allot of time in friendships and it seems i dont get the same love back except 1 person
i have always been the one to pull out my wallet to shout drinks when i go to the bar but it seems im not worth a drink to some friends
i think i need a big reality check in my life with the people im around
so lets see how i feel after this week with some people
it might be a wise choice to ban myself from the net aswell
so as of today no more msn yahoo or sg chat for the week
i will check my profile but i wont be social
i know it seems that i am shutting the world off from me but i need to think about what is good for me and my well being im constantly getting screwed in the ass and not in the fun way if i was in prison i would be walking out with the widest and loosest anus.
i know im bitching and whining but hey thus is life and i did hide it for so many years until i had a mental breakdown i never used to complain but i guess i have to but i will never do it directly to anyone so be happy that i dont whine to others about my problems like allot of people i know.
oh well im on a rampage and i shall stop
lots of luv to all of you
ante
p.s i just have to add
i sent a txt message to all my friends about needing my own time and i recieved a reply from my so called best friend. "what ever have fun with that" wich is like a slap in the face when you know her. I think i need to re asses my friends in this city cause all i get is selfish respnces like my problems arent good enough for them that its all about them and never me. well im sorry my life isnt great but hey im trying to make it better.
after a shitty week
i have decided to turn my mobile off for the week
i need some peace and quite from allot of people after all this shit that has happened
i have to go for an MRI scan on my knees this week to see if i need surgery wich just sounds delightful in the funds department
i also have had allot of people basicly spit in my face with our friendships
i do allot of giving allot of time in friendships and it seems i dont get the same love back except 1 person
i have always been the one to pull out my wallet to shout drinks when i go to the bar but it seems im not worth a drink to some friends
i think i need a big reality check in my life with the people im around
so lets see how i feel after this week with some people
it might be a wise choice to ban myself from the net aswell
so as of today no more msn yahoo or sg chat for the week
i will check my profile but i wont be social
i know it seems that i am shutting the world off from me but i need to think about what is good for me and my well being im constantly getting screwed in the ass and not in the fun way if i was in prison i would be walking out with the widest and loosest anus.
i know im bitching and whining but hey thus is life and i did hide it for so many years until i had a mental breakdown i never used to complain but i guess i have to but i will never do it directly to anyone so be happy that i dont whine to others about my problems like allot of people i know.
oh well im on a rampage and i shall stop
lots of luv to all of you
ante
p.s i just have to add
i sent a txt message to all my friends about needing my own time and i recieved a reply from my so called best friend. "what ever have fun with that" wich is like a slap in the face when you know her. I think i need to re asses my friends in this city cause all i get is selfish respnces like my problems arent good enough for them that its all about them and never me. well im sorry my life isnt great but hey im trying to make it better.
I COMMING TO BRISBANE ON SATURDAY MORNING FOR 3 DAYS SO WTCH AND CONATCT ME HERE IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET A BLOTTO WITH ME
I dont know what the hell is wrong with me.
I am soooo depressed every day but yet i cant tell anyone directly.
Life isnt shit but its not great.
i started drinking again i couldnt do it. And the only person i can blame is myself.
I figured that if i could stop drinking while living in a place i hate so much would be such an accomplishment for me and could lead me to become a healtier person and quit smoking and continue my training.
But all i can do is get home crack open a beer or get a bottle of gin and not stop drinking for atleast 2-3 hours till i get so tired my eyes are stinging and i cant keep them open.
I also have stopped eating i havnt had a real meal for over a week now.
I dont like this.
I hated myself when i used to be like this and i dont want to turn into that person again.
I really need out of this place. I need peace and quite.
I hate this i know some many people are worse off than me and i should be grateful for everything i have and everyone i have (wich is a small handful).
I guess i miss being able to go donw the street and know so many people.
But i hope all this changes when that special someone comes here and i move to brisbane.
Im sorry all for this depressing blog but this is the only place i can actualy say anything. I dont know why i can ask for help but i have to some day before i hurt myself in a way that i cant fix it.
I hope you are all well.
I am soooo depressed every day but yet i cant tell anyone directly.
Life isnt shit but its not great.
i started drinking again i couldnt do it. And the only person i can blame is myself.
I figured that if i could stop drinking while living in a place i hate so much would be such an accomplishment for me and could lead me to become a healtier person and quit smoking and continue my training.
But all i can do is get home crack open a beer or get a bottle of gin and not stop drinking for atleast 2-3 hours till i get so tired my eyes are stinging and i cant keep them open.
I also have stopped eating i havnt had a real meal for over a week now.
I dont like this.
I hated myself when i used to be like this and i dont want to turn into that person again.
I really need out of this place. I need peace and quite.
I hate this i know some many people are worse off than me and i should be grateful for everything i have and everyone i have (wich is a small handful).
I guess i miss being able to go donw the street and know so many people.
But i hope all this changes when that special someone comes here and i move to brisbane.
Im sorry all for this depressing blog but this is the only place i can actualy say anything. I dont know why i can ask for help but i have to some day before i hurt myself in a way that i cant fix it.
I hope you are all well.
Well i have one month to get my shit together to pass the forklift test so i dont have to worry bout log books and get my ticket to nearly work any where i want in australia.
I hope i pass apparently due to some fucking idiots at work they have made the company that does our liscences to be harder to pass.
I need to pass this so i can move to brisbane and get out od sydney and not be as stressed.
It seems on what is being planned for brissie sounds so good the person i have been chatting with to get a place with seems like someone that i can really get along with and live with. You better not be a messy cunt daeos.
So plans to get all the stuff on my cat fixed and save save save for my move and tattoo's.
I just hope if i put the effort in to all of this it will all work out perfect.
Fingers crossed.
How are you all anyway ????????
I hope everyone that reads this is well.
I hope i pass apparently due to some fucking idiots at work they have made the company that does our liscences to be harder to pass.
I need to pass this so i can move to brisbane and get out od sydney and not be as stressed.
It seems on what is being planned for brissie sounds so good the person i have been chatting with to get a place with seems like someone that i can really get along with and live with. You better not be a messy cunt daeos.
So plans to get all the stuff on my cat fixed and save save save for my move and tattoo's.
I just hope if i put the effort in to all of this it will all work out perfect.
Fingers crossed.
How are you all anyway ????????
I hope everyone that reads this is well.
Well at the moment i am completely over everything in my life right now.
I don't know why i just could not be fucked with anything i wish i could just sleep and sleep and sleep maybe if i take a hole lot of these sleeping pills it will be good.
Well Blah
I don't know why i just could not be fucked with anything i wish i could just sleep and sleep and sleep maybe if i take a hole lot of these sleeping pills it will be good.
Well Blah
well peoples i have posted a thread for all you SG AU members about a party have a read and put your name down for it if you would like to join in the chaos
