So today. Im in a fucking bad mood. I don't care, I don't plan on going out of my way and being nice to anyone I don't feel like. So, be warned.

Im so angry today. So frustrated. so fucking tired of being broke. SO GODDAMN FUCKING ALONE!!!

I fucking hate it here. Jon has 2 jobs so I got to see him for a whopping 2 hours today. He won't be home until after im asleep and he left this morning at like 6am.

Well it turns out can't get a job because jon has two and won't quit one unless i go back into the pharmacy career. Well thats not an option because I would have to go back to school since utah has different pharmacy laws here.

So Jon's parents (we're living with them) said they'd help us out with anything as long as it would save them $$. Well I told them I was going to get this Job at HT, and then they tell me, "oh that's so cool", THEN they goto jon and say "oh well you're going to ahve to find someone else to watch PJ because we're not going to". So basically they'd rather have us living here longer, eating their food, using their utilities instead of me getting a job and watching the best baby in the world for 2-3 nights/week.

we're sleeping on jon's brother's bed. It's a fucking double. I get NO SLEEP and NO FUCKING ROOM. (if any of you have met my husband... he's a bit shy of 400lb)... but can we bring in our king size from storange..... no, of course not

They went to Lake powell (6 hour drive) Took all of the fucking food and left us $20. there's no goddamn food in the house and they know jon doesn';t get paid for another week and a half. Not to mention jon's sister is still here. But what did they do? they took her grocery shopping and she put her name all over her food so we can't eat it she made a point of that to tell us tht infront of the parents before they left.... well all except the fish felets and fish sticks which she knows im allergic to fish and she knows jon hates fish, she said we can have all we want of those.. Convient eh?

It's not like we use his parents, we watch the kids while they go on vacations, we drive them everywhere, im constantly cleaning something, i do their hair for free, i pay for their products, i cook, i don't complain, i water the flowers and help out in the yard as much as possible, i offer to do everything i can to help out.

Well apparently it's not enough.

Jon has been trying everything to make me happy today but all it does is remind me that hes going to be leaving to goto work again. God i fucking hate this feeling. I don't know how to fix it, or shake it, or just get over it.

Im so fucking angry. I need help, i don't know what with though. MAAAAN THIS SUCKS ASS! im so frustrated. god!