I need something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live.

Love QOTSA

This site is so tempting. Usually for a guy, he meets a girl on the net and realizes there a million miles away from each other. To me I just see hours. I can go anywhere I can indulge and I have but I restrain.

Sometimes I wish that the princess kept my kid and that one day he'd call in trouble with some tribe or militia and I would have to fly,boat,drive and run to rescue him. He could have turned up Hating his distant poor father. As he resides over that massive palace with all the animals that his grandfather loved roaming free. That probably would have been my last chapter if I had stayed with her. Even though she was "a" princess. She wasn't the one I'm meant to rescue. I think I'm meant to rescue a girl that's lost hope in love and I'm meant to rekindle it. Make her eyes shine with a soul overjoyed. Or at least cradle her when she's ill and kiss her on the forehead when she's upset.

Got to stop looking for love and just look at the pretty girls

BLARGH I think drummonkey50 got me in this mood

What can you do when your memories lie to you

I feel like an sg rebel. Im more interested in the fans,
Like the ones reading this in the small members breif screen. I see you!

It's so much more fun and interesting skimming through "normal" lives, reading poetry or lyrics. Looking at art, sculptures or how peoples determination and pure strengh of character has gotten them through incredibly difficult things.

Not saying that the sg's arent like this in fact they are spectacular, I suppose with 1,000 + friends Its just hard to talk normally and when you do. You feel all special and gooey, which puts them on a pedestal and then your wondering why they dont reply.

The site is inclined to do this and hopefuls probably feel pressured to get as much fame as they can. que' sera sera

I suppose I have focused on the social side of this website because im shy at heart. I'm getting desensitised to the boob's and nudey's until you know, they talk back and its like not that im shy in character. I just like the tease. sometimes I think im intruding on something incredibly private if im not looking at the pictures as a photographer or critic or art lover.

I want to be pretty active on here or at least I will try to be. Not because I have something cool or amazing to tell or something incredibly creative to display but just to find people like me in some small way stuck where I've been stuck or to learn from. I know how much the quiet hurts and its great to be able to be yourself without fear of criticsm (ish) Although im not going to be on here 24/7 because I got to go boarding for the new season!

ANYWAY, that sort of explains what im about. for the new guys that ive added, open that little black tag top right and you'll find it easier to keep in touch.

Thats it im shattered, Have to move aircraft tommorow and pile in some of that pay and a half overtime. Nights

This has been created because of a sensitive reaction to coffee COOOO KOOOOOFFF FFFF WOOOOOFFFF EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

with a hint o cube of sugar.

For a hyper reactive over thinking complex mess of a brain i withold in my cranium this actually helps me strain a decent level of normal thought out. .... ish

from now till i get kicked off the lappy im going to fish for friends adding many that appeal and most that allure.
Because quite sadly right now im typing to myself with is a self esteem point lower than talking to oneself because there is literal EVIDENCE archived and splayed over the internet. We're almost on the level of uploading bad personal pictures with photo-booked-face-shopped smiles. I say we I mean me and myself

Say HI if you accepted me !

So I sat down planning to write something, anything. I've thought of funny things sad things conflicted and inventive things. At the moment im just tired, through and through. I'm working to try and stop myself thinking not about bad things but about good and hope filled things.

I have ambition to be something fantastical, I want kids, and I want to tell those kids stories that are unbelievable. I suppose selfishly I want their eyes to shine with hope and wonder at the world to brighten mine again. I want to inspire them to a humanity that other people seem to shun or simply disbelieve in.

What I mean, when I say that I dont want to think. Is that when I float in daydreams, I become emerged and euphoric about the inventions and the theories spreading through my critical mind. Fast becoming refined and weathered, to all downfalls. At the end I have something bright and glistening.

Then I realise I cant share it. I dont have crafters hands, music doesnt pour from my soul. I cant transform with a yell a dream that I hope all should share.

I am hoping again and im striving against it. In reality I probably cant own the home that im hoping for or gently romantically entice that girl.

My house in my head, My girl in my heart I go to my bed to dream and depart.




Something entertaining from Ricky Gervais to get your mind off that drivel
Ricky G Rippin teh P

Fridays room search is sponsored by the word "Fungus"
I went to look at a room today It was pretty much in the same margin as the cheapest hostel i have ever stayed at. One tenant said as I came through the door

"sometimes when it rains the water pours down the walls"

at 300 a month not including council tax twas a little bit spensive
Afterwards I went out drinking with Mrs friend dodging frenzied flying forks as we behaved ourselves ignoring the overly-flirting waitress in the expensive restaurant Lols then drank cocktails till we started verbally abusing those younger peoples with absolutely no style because we are old :*(

I am once again staring at the banner at the top of this webpage for the sg iphone app, "seduce a suicidegirl" I have now realised where I am going wrong with seduction, I havent talked to any girls about comics!!!!!


As a prize to the people's that expanded this life-moan: SWAMP THING ! You Make My heart Sing!!! You make EVERYTHING alright (although thats the wild thing lyrics from the troggs it was parodied in the the cartoon )

Orignal tune:


"Monsters and MIDGETS"


Random tune with screaming girls ie. an SG version

I think I really like this ?? he says after the 5th time he has listened to it

Closed curtains. because the beautiful day made me unable to see my screen properly.

I got creatively minded last night. Reawakened the old inventors box attached to my neck. It entertains me, every so often I feel the need to just indulge in some theory.

I thought about an interactive "book" that is more an online plot using a combination of online actors and "bots" that text, email and responded to your questions and conversation. Leading you through a story. This is based on the limited imagination we use when understanding text (which is everywhere) and trying to expand on it. Just as the first pioneers of written fiction did.

I thought about a photoshoot to try and capture emotions and reactions in an audience when viewing shocking media. Almost as a small piece of research into the presumption that the differnt cultural backgrounds and ages become more or less sensitive to differnt scenes. It would involve inviting/bribing a wide variety of people to a gallery in which they are asked to view differnt pieces of art. At the moment of unveiling cameras begin shooting in an attempt to capture immediate responses and "covers"

I thought of some other stuff but i dont want to splurge, really have to restrain the idea diaorrehea. #

I've also made it to page 46 of the hopeful's section. Wasnt going to be this geeky but I couldnt view the new room I might move into. So I thought I may aswell be a good sg user and give a balanced opinion.

(I did get desensitised to the naked's and wondered why my mum was staring at my screen for about a split second I didnt understand the shock in her face

Wednsday, lost tuesday due to snow.

I'm shattered
Had to get up earlier to go to work in snow which was fun, if i wasnt late and running.. Then i Had a half day because we were almost snowed in and all the roads were blocked then i did have fun walking past all the traffic .

Walking round the last corner, thinking about rolling up a snowman. There to my delirious surpise were my brother and sister struggling with a massive baulder of snow.

We created a snow monster, 10ft tall 10ft!

I want to post a picture, but were having troubles with the camera it took about 2 hours and manual labour enough to knock out my brother and sister and some of the neighbour's and their parents although some of the knockouts were snowball induced. Its snowing again now

(Finally added some Actual pictures of me, feel free to run from your computer arrange the village mob and hunt me down with torches, Grrr)

So first day of work, EXCITING sarcasm (today my blog is a chore)

I say a chore, if it was that bad i wouldn't write because... I'm as lazy as everyone else. Its not a chore that is, but I'm starting to realize the dedication/Excess freetime people have in writing on forums and trying to keep up to date Eeek.
I mean WOW I got a bit geeked over on a tech post and ended up Splurging about a page on it. I feel like I couldn't keep away from the chocolate ice cream and now i cant hide my sticky chocolate face. I like it, although i find myself in that attention deficit place staring longingly at the comments icon.

SNAP OUT OF IT YOU N000000B.

- a thought on my unwise use of the word chore:
I feel a slight pressure to write this. I think it holds like a slither of hope, in-between the lines somewhere. Maybe this is the thing that girl reads or the first thing a new lifelong mate see's??. overthinking with my overmind

I want to appear as something, but I'm in a muddle as to myself as it is. So creating an alter-ego would be very schizophrenic (failed at that long word spelling) I know boring right. [Also massive inappropriate use of the psychological term, how very general perception]

Right as of NOW I'm going on a word splurge diet, I will space out my comments thin and skip through posts so as not to incur the wrath of the Geek and to also keep an element of sexy mystique (Also note my random style no apologies if you don't get it, you wont )

Forgive me SG for my lack of personalised bloggin diarohea like spewing of words, on your fine pages. I am currently life changing by process of Moving from the Motherhome.

Fear, excitement and finacial crisis await the indecision and pot luck good rentaroom lottery i have partaken in. I will, as much as freetime permits unburden my woes and dreams unto this site but for now. I have to text Yuen YEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee about a viewing.

May this perilous journey be rewarded by virgins... *crosses fingers*