Mental Health is a BITCH....
Yesterday was another fun filled day. I spent it in the emergency room at Suburban Hospital freaking out something fierce. I finally just lost my shit...entirely. I've been unmedicated for the past 2 months due to the trouble I had finding a doctor up here that could see me sooner than mid-July. So, I finally start calling around again yesterday to see if there was anyone that would see me same day. Of course no one could. So, having HMO through MAMSI, the shittiest insurance ever, I call them to see if I can go to an urgent care center. But without having a PCP to refer me to one, I can't. And the PCP that I made an appointment with in mid July says he wont back me going, so I'll have to pay out of pocket. So then I really lost my shit, and called my mom, who told her psychiatrist friend, who then gets on the phone with me and tells me to pull off the road and call 911, and ask that they transfer me to the Psych Unit at Suburban, because I "sound like I'm in crisis." Of course I'm in fucking crisis, NO ONE WILL FUCKING HELP ME! Anyways, I get there and they want me to stay over the weekend to get myself together, but my insurance wont cover it because I'm not trying to kill myself actively. Hmmm....then the ER refers me to a psychiatrist, but she charges $275 an hour and doesn't file with insurance. So, I have 2 weeks worth of meds that the hospital prescribed me, and other han being really shaky, today is ok so far. No panic attacks yet, though I did just wake up. My question is this: why does everyone make getting mental health services so damn frustrating?!!! That's the last thing an unstable person needs. So to my HMO: FUCK YOU. You can suck my asshole, I'd be better off uninsured, then at least I could participate in the programs for those without insurance. I'm taking today off, before I do become actively suicidal. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yesterday was another fun filled day. I spent it in the emergency room at Suburban Hospital freaking out something fierce. I finally just lost my shit...entirely. I've been unmedicated for the past 2 months due to the trouble I had finding a doctor up here that could see me sooner than mid-July. So, I finally start calling around again yesterday to see if there was anyone that would see me same day. Of course no one could. So, having HMO through MAMSI, the shittiest insurance ever, I call them to see if I can go to an urgent care center. But without having a PCP to refer me to one, I can't. And the PCP that I made an appointment with in mid July says he wont back me going, so I'll have to pay out of pocket. So then I really lost my shit, and called my mom, who told her psychiatrist friend, who then gets on the phone with me and tells me to pull off the road and call 911, and ask that they transfer me to the Psych Unit at Suburban, because I "sound like I'm in crisis." Of course I'm in fucking crisis, NO ONE WILL FUCKING HELP ME! Anyways, I get there and they want me to stay over the weekend to get myself together, but my insurance wont cover it because I'm not trying to kill myself actively. Hmmm....then the ER refers me to a psychiatrist, but she charges $275 an hour and doesn't file with insurance. So, I have 2 weeks worth of meds that the hospital prescribed me, and other han being really shaky, today is ok so far. No panic attacks yet, though I did just wake up. My question is this: why does everyone make getting mental health services so damn frustrating?!!! That's the last thing an unstable person needs. So to my HMO: FUCK YOU. You can suck my asshole, I'd be better off uninsured, then at least I could participate in the programs for those without insurance. I'm taking today off, before I do become actively suicidal. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
On the move...again.
Perhaps not immediately, but I have decided DC is only for me for another year or so. I'm moving back to Boston as soon as I possibly can. I LOVE my job, and my co-workers, but jesus christ this town only offers so much. I lived in Cambridge briefly (4 months) and it was the happiest I've ever been. Plus, Angell Memorial Veterinary Hospital is in Boston, and that is my dream employer. So, it looks like I'll only be settled here in DC for another year, year and a half tops. Part of me is terrified of picking up and moving again, but I have not explored all of my academic and career options, and Boston seems the best fit for me. I hate to say that part of my desire has to do with the rumor mill at work, but after so many people hear through the grapevine that you're a total slut, even if it is eroneous information, it changes the way you feel about yourself to a certain extent. And ya know, Boston has my kind of weather....cold and snowy in the winter, temperate in the summer. The fact that its full of liberals doesn't hurt either. I almost wish I could pick up and move next week, but it's too soon and I just signed a years lease, so, I'll have a DC summer, another DC winter and then be on my way, provided Angell offers me a job.
In other news, I got another raise....WOOHOO!!!!!!! but I'm still broke as shit.
ALSO, I'm having a party next weekend and have no idea where I'm going to get roughly 20 pounds of cheese and kegs that someone will deliver to a fourth floor apartment, so if anyone has any ideas, I NEED TO HEAR THEM asap....and I will love you forever. Anyone trying to call me on my cell should also know that being a broke bastard=no more cell minutes for me.
Perhaps not immediately, but I have decided DC is only for me for another year or so. I'm moving back to Boston as soon as I possibly can. I LOVE my job, and my co-workers, but jesus christ this town only offers so much. I lived in Cambridge briefly (4 months) and it was the happiest I've ever been. Plus, Angell Memorial Veterinary Hospital is in Boston, and that is my dream employer. So, it looks like I'll only be settled here in DC for another year, year and a half tops. Part of me is terrified of picking up and moving again, but I have not explored all of my academic and career options, and Boston seems the best fit for me. I hate to say that part of my desire has to do with the rumor mill at work, but after so many people hear through the grapevine that you're a total slut, even if it is eroneous information, it changes the way you feel about yourself to a certain extent. And ya know, Boston has my kind of weather....cold and snowy in the winter, temperate in the summer. The fact that its full of liberals doesn't hurt either. I almost wish I could pick up and move next week, but it's too soon and I just signed a years lease, so, I'll have a DC summer, another DC winter and then be on my way, provided Angell offers me a job.
In other news, I got another raise....WOOHOO!!!!!!! but I'm still broke as shit.
ALSO, I'm having a party next weekend and have no idea where I'm going to get roughly 20 pounds of cheese and kegs that someone will deliver to a fourth floor apartment, so if anyone has any ideas, I NEED TO HEAR THEM asap....and I will love you forever. Anyone trying to call me on my cell should also know that being a broke bastard=no more cell minutes for me.
Krang Gang vs. Moo Cows
Yet another exciting weekend. How can one gal get so lucky?
For once I'm not being sarcastic, this makes something like 4 great weekends back to back. But I digress...
It started as a good idea and just kept progressing to become the greatest camping trip of all time. That's right bitches, I went camping. Had I any idea that the Shenandoah River Valley was so effing gorgeous, I would never have moved to DC. My weekend went a little like this:
Spending $180 on camping shit Fiday after work. Then spent $170 on booze and food, mostly booze, mostly. Braved a torrential albeit amazing thunderstorm on windy mountain roads to reach our campsite by 10pm, when the rain stopped. Complete and total inebriation ensued, and the fire burned until 5 am, at which point it was time to go to bed. Woke up at 10am, hopped on a raft, and rafted for 6 hours. Most fun I've had since last weekend at the beach. Then, more inebriation, swimming with cows in a lovely river, and campfire to follow. Today we went antiqueing in Luray after dining at the fabulous Uncle Buck's, who makes the best biscuits and gravy this side of the Mississippi.
I finally got a years pass to every National park, and for a measly $50, woohoo!
I LOVE doing shit with my weekends. Next week is a bummer, I'm on call, but the week after I'm having a housewarming party.
I wish I lived on a raft.
Yet another exciting weekend. How can one gal get so lucky?
For once I'm not being sarcastic, this makes something like 4 great weekends back to back. But I digress...
It started as a good idea and just kept progressing to become the greatest camping trip of all time. That's right bitches, I went camping. Had I any idea that the Shenandoah River Valley was so effing gorgeous, I would never have moved to DC. My weekend went a little like this:
Spending $180 on camping shit Fiday after work. Then spent $170 on booze and food, mostly booze, mostly. Braved a torrential albeit amazing thunderstorm on windy mountain roads to reach our campsite by 10pm, when the rain stopped. Complete and total inebriation ensued, and the fire burned until 5 am, at which point it was time to go to bed. Woke up at 10am, hopped on a raft, and rafted for 6 hours. Most fun I've had since last weekend at the beach. Then, more inebriation, swimming with cows in a lovely river, and campfire to follow. Today we went antiqueing in Luray after dining at the fabulous Uncle Buck's, who makes the best biscuits and gravy this side of the Mississippi.
I finally got a years pass to every National park, and for a measly $50, woohoo!
I LOVE doing shit with my weekends. Next week is a bummer, I'm on call, but the week after I'm having a housewarming party.
I wish I lived on a raft.
Burned alive
Just got back from Virginia Beach from a friends birthday party and I'm about as red as a lobster in certain areas. Yay skin cancer!
I love Virginia Beach. It's like a rowdy raucous Austin. In the course of a 7 hour period I had roughly 15 alcoholic drinks, may have had more, just can't remember. Danced my ass off at Peabody's and went running around the beach naked. Good times.
The Funny thing about Va beach, is the crazy little signs posted everywhere that are #@#*!! with the circle around and strike through them. Apparently, public cursing is illegal there. That went over like a ton of bricks with me who curses like a sailor. I kept having to say fiddlesticks and various other subsidiaries of my favorite words.
Anyhow, I've had a whopping 3 hours of sleep n the last 48 or so hours, meaning I'm braindead as all fumanchu. There ill be pics added soon of the evenings festivities, but for now I'm out bitches
Just got back from Virginia Beach from a friends birthday party and I'm about as red as a lobster in certain areas. Yay skin cancer!
I love Virginia Beach. It's like a rowdy raucous Austin. In the course of a 7 hour period I had roughly 15 alcoholic drinks, may have had more, just can't remember. Danced my ass off at Peabody's and went running around the beach naked. Good times.
The Funny thing about Va beach, is the crazy little signs posted everywhere that are #@#*!! with the circle around and strike through them. Apparently, public cursing is illegal there. That went over like a ton of bricks with me who curses like a sailor. I kept having to say fiddlesticks and various other subsidiaries of my favorite words.
Anyhow, I've had a whopping 3 hours of sleep n the last 48 or so hours, meaning I'm braindead as all fumanchu. There ill be pics added soon of the evenings festivities, but for now I'm out bitches
TexMex should stay in Texas
WOW. Where to begin.
Finally made it down to Austin for a whole week and got damn near nothing accomplished other than hanging out with friends and family. It was akin to a mini vacation, complete with stress and good times. I saw some very Texas-esque places, like The Meat Bakery right across from a Chicken Buffet. Leads one to wonder: what the fuck is a meat bakery? And, how many different kinds of chicken do you encounter at a chicken buffet?
I'm not quite sure I'm even ready to write about this latest adventure. Brit1 was supposed to move up here with me, but at the last minute I chickened out. Commitment is decidedly not my bag at the moment. Being with someone for 5 years and having plans fall through has left me scared shitless of relationships.
I got to see my best friend Shep, she's 5 months pregnant and there isn't a cuter pregnant woman in existance. I cannot wait to be an aunt and spoil the hell outta that kid. Frightening and exciting all at once.
My brother gave me his digital camera, which rocks as DC has so much interesting architecture to peruse and capture.
I got back to BWI Airport and my car was dead. Some douchebag left the interior light on for 7 days straight, thus draining the battery. Sadly, I am that douchebag.
I have a headache, elsewise I'd blather on for far too long about completely irrelevant/boring crap. Hope all ya'll are doing well!
WOW. Where to begin.
Finally made it down to Austin for a whole week and got damn near nothing accomplished other than hanging out with friends and family. It was akin to a mini vacation, complete with stress and good times. I saw some very Texas-esque places, like The Meat Bakery right across from a Chicken Buffet. Leads one to wonder: what the fuck is a meat bakery? And, how many different kinds of chicken do you encounter at a chicken buffet?
I'm not quite sure I'm even ready to write about this latest adventure. Brit1 was supposed to move up here with me, but at the last minute I chickened out. Commitment is decidedly not my bag at the moment. Being with someone for 5 years and having plans fall through has left me scared shitless of relationships.
I got to see my best friend Shep, she's 5 months pregnant and there isn't a cuter pregnant woman in existance. I cannot wait to be an aunt and spoil the hell outta that kid. Frightening and exciting all at once.
My brother gave me his digital camera, which rocks as DC has so much interesting architecture to peruse and capture.
I got back to BWI Airport and my car was dead. Some douchebag left the interior light on for 7 days straight, thus draining the battery. Sadly, I am that douchebag.
I have a headache, elsewise I'd blather on for far too long about completely irrelevant/boring crap. Hope all ya'll are doing well!
someday I'll make sense
from these rivers that flow so violently
with no beginning and no end
I will do, everything I desire
and walk paths without the fortune teller
that keeps me safe beneath the covers
someday I will savor the day rather than rush it away
from fear and insecurity
and someday will bring certainty
from these rivers that flow so violently
with no beginning and no end
I will do, everything I desire
and walk paths without the fortune teller
that keeps me safe beneath the covers
someday I will savor the day rather than rush it away
from fear and insecurity
and someday will bring certainty
I still have a job. FUCK YEAH!
I should be sleeping.
What the hell should you be doing?
oh yes, and I finally learned how to "backup" my dvd collection. fucking exponentially rad. literally
I should be sleeping.
What the hell should you be doing?
oh yes, and I finally learned how to "backup" my dvd collection. fucking exponentially rad. literally
This past week, well, disasterous is the best way to describe it.
I prize punctuality. Perhaps it all started when I was a wee tot and my mother never made it anywhere on time, not even to pick me up from school. She was a busy lady, and I hated her for it. It never mattered why she was late, just that she was.
So I operate under the philosophy that you don't say you'll be somewhere at a certain time if you wont. This applies to work as well. Every day last week I was late. Then today, the most important day to be on time, I was late AGAIN. By three hours.
Fuck fuck fuck. I feel like Tweak on Southpark. I'm trying sooo hard but the pressure!!!
On the upside I had a kickass weekend. Went to Mayorga, a very Mojo's-esque coffeehouse. Bought some beans. Hung out with the crew from work, bbq'd some boca burgers, and drank way too much.
If anyone has helpful hints for getting up on time other than setting 4 alarms which is what I do already, I'd love to hear them.
And with that, I'm going to go eat my salmon and veggie dinner and hope I cooked it long enough
I prize punctuality. Perhaps it all started when I was a wee tot and my mother never made it anywhere on time, not even to pick me up from school. She was a busy lady, and I hated her for it. It never mattered why she was late, just that she was.
So I operate under the philosophy that you don't say you'll be somewhere at a certain time if you wont. This applies to work as well. Every day last week I was late. Then today, the most important day to be on time, I was late AGAIN. By three hours.
Fuck fuck fuck. I feel like Tweak on Southpark. I'm trying sooo hard but the pressure!!!
On the upside I had a kickass weekend. Went to Mayorga, a very Mojo's-esque coffeehouse. Bought some beans. Hung out with the crew from work, bbq'd some boca burgers, and drank way too much.
If anyone has helpful hints for getting up on time other than setting 4 alarms which is what I do already, I'd love to hear them.
And with that, I'm going to go eat my salmon and veggie dinner and hope I cooked it long enough
