So I'm single again, something about your current gf going into depth about the plethora of guys she's fucked really turns a man off.

I wish I could be like maynard james keenan, I have the short thing down but what I really need is to have this false sense that I'm the next messiah and that everyone should bow down to my mediocracy. It would would lovely to waltz through life as a C student who just believes that all his teachers were wrong in grading and that everything he puts out is life changing A+ material. In short, TOOL is ok, and will never be more than that. All the songs sound similar and there is no real range to the vocals or music. Fuck you Maynard James Keenan, your wine sucks.

to say that I feel jaded would be an understatement. living in the same town you grew up in is kinda sickening, you become almost a parody of yourself. I hope to god I get into grad school in Miami so I don't suffocate to death here.

P.S. I miss my dog

So I had to put my dog to sleep (eternal sleep, so essentially condemn my my dog to death) this past weekend and it absolutley broke my heart. She had a large tumor on her mouth and took a drastic turn for the worse this past weekend. Not only was she incapable of keeping food down or controlling her bowels or drooling but she also had a paralyzed larynx and was finding it more and more difficult to breathe. I was afraid that if I left her at home she may suffocate to death alone, that would be the saddest, most horrifying experience in the world. I had to take her alone because no one was around.

That same day I went to work to take my mind off of the situation. I had just started a new medication the day before and my body decided that it wanted me to have an allergic reaction to the new medication while I was at my new job. So both my arms started tingling, I became light headed and dizzy, my tongue became swollen and I couldn't breathe. An ambulance was called to pick me up from work and I spent about 6 hours under constant surveillance in the ER.

I had to do all of this alone, my parents were in Florida and I had left my cell phone at work. My insurance is not going to cover any of this so I'm fucked with some huge bills. Awesome B-Day weekend!

I turn 26 in less than half an hour, that's only 4 years away from 30, scarrrrrryyyyyyyyyy

I finished my grad school application and mailed everything off. Somehow I got a 1300 on the verbal and quantitative sections of the GRE's without studying. So I should hear back in like 2 months as to whether or not I am accepted for the spring semester 2011 at FIU. I'm excited about it all, I think it'll be one of the most gratifying moments of my life if I get accepted, especially since I'd be leaving Massachusetts in the winter to go play in the sun in Miami. Wish me luck everyone.

So I have no job now, being unemployed is actually kind of fun because in a sense I view life like a "choose your own adventure" book. So now I have a chance to change the rest of the book that is my life. I already decided that I've been underacheiving something fierce for the past 25 or so years and that I should maybe get my act together in the 26th year. One thing I always like to do when things look bleak and I know that change is afoot is to smoke a ton of pot and indulge in self pity and the watching of cartoons. So I've been doing that and with the incessant smoking and waking up at 3pm covered in animal crackers with chocolate milk stains on my t-shirts I've come to the conclusion that I need to go to graduate school.

My application for grad school is almost completed fully, I have the GRE's in about a week and I'm generally optomistic about how things are working out. That was until today when I decided to watch the syfy channel and realized that someone wrote a movie called "Dinotopia". This guy is way more successful than I am and probably has no problem paying bills and he wrote what may be one of the worst movies in the the history of the universe. This got me thinking about all those people out there who do nothing but create garbage (literally and figuratively) and are able to live comfortable existences. I've always tried to have integrity and stand up for my ideals and values but thus far have only been rewarded with unemployment and moderately priced automobiles.

I think I need to give myself a cool nick name to feel better about things. These are the nick names I've been throwing around: Hats (I would just start wearing a top hat everywhere), doctor claw, the protractor, or just plain Snake. Maybe this would help me get a job. I could post my new nick name as my birth name and people would be so impressed that they would throw jobs at me willy nilly.

Guy's, I don't care how witty, or charming or sincere you think your comments are on girls' sets, you are never getting laid as a result of them so just fucking give it up please. You can cram as many and other horrendously embarassing lame ass quotes as you want it is not going to work for ya. I don't care if you tell someone how "artistic" you thought their set was and how you incorporate quotes from famous people you stalked off their interests on their profiles, you aren't getting fucking laid. So please, just start posting funny comments or absurd comments because they are much more enjoyable for everyone on this site including myself. It makes me feel as if 99.9% of males have just become pathetic voids of human intelligence and imagination, in short, the guy's on this website all fucking suck.

Ok so I've taken to reading the craigslist personal ads for fun. Let me tell you, it's fucking hysterical and I love every second of it but there is one thing that I find somewhat peculiar. If you are a woman posting on craigslist look for some love you must really be striking out. Seriously, it is not hard to take a dude home from a bar. Even if you are sporting a few extra ell bee's and maybe have psoriasis, halotosis and gonorrhea for a trifecta or triumvirate of grossness there is some guy at any bar in the world right now who would fuck you. He'd probably even let you piss in his mouth if you asked politely. That being said, if you are posting on craigslist because you can't find a guy at a bar after he drank 37 beers and some gasoline and downed a bottle of tylenol cold and flu then you are the bottom of the barrel. With this in mind, BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS. You can't expect tall, dark and handsome lawyers with 32 inch cocks to be beating down your door because you posted a pathetic ad in the most pathetic spot that you could post a pathetic ad in, craigslist. I see the line "must be 6 ft. tall" so often and let's be honest, I don't think any of these women should be limiting their search criteria.

I'm a fairly realistic person and look I know ladies that 5'4 doesn't turn you on. No chick has ever said "Oh my god he was so short it was so hot, it's like I was in the lord of the rings movies fucking frodo baggins." But it is somewhat disheartening to me as a short guy that these slobs on craigslist have a superiority complex over me. Not even the ducks at the pond will let these wildebeasts feed them but they still think that short guys are just trash that should not even be considered worthy of licking their EE 9west pumps. Pitiful.

oh and I was recently hired and start work tomorrow. I'm going to attribute my getting hired to the fact that my hair is so beautiful. I was at this bar called the corrib in west roxbury (because you can smoke butts in the bathroom after 1am and until close) with some girl on saturday night that I had literally met a few hours before (she's the sister of a girl I worked with) and some random drunk dude of about 40 years old comes up to us as we are talking and says this "I'm sorry to interrupt you guys but you are the best looking couple in west roxbury." When some random dude comes up and throws that out that is gold, there was literally no possible way in the world that I wasn't getting laid after that. I should pay dudes to say shit like that for me at bars. I wanted to turn to him and say "I just met this bitch like 3 hours ago!" but then I would have ended up at my house with a dry penis so I played it cool.