Damn rain.
I had hella cabin fever yesterday, make plans to leave work early and skate today. Set up a time with a photographer. The weather is great all day and then an hour before I want to skate it rains and gets everything wet.
It's not my damn week.

We had some photographers from a local paper come out to the warehouse on Friday June, 26th to have a bit of a photo shoot as we skated. Got some pretty damn good shots from Heidi. She gave me as many photos as she could so I had to start an album of skate photos.

This is the first time in 5 years that I have allowed someone to take photos of me skating or have even possessed photos of me skating

Enjoi

I just started thinking today at lunch how strange peppers are.
They develop this awesome hot/burning flavor as a defense mechanism to avoid being eaten.
Now, humans grow them specifically to eat them because of said hot/burning flavor

why don't they stop being spicy & save themselves

I set up a deviant art account this weekend to get all of my art on the web. I've only been able to load a few of my photos and paintings but I'm working on getting more into my gallery.

Check it out
http://the-black-heart.deviantart.com/

I went to an art gallery this weekend and saw work by a local artist named Martie Warner. She lives in the sticks of Nebraska and does some of the best work I've seen. She introduced my to Encaustic painting and I fell in love instantly. I spent the rest of my weekend thinking of it and gathering supplies to have a go. I took my first crack today and posted a photo of some bamboo that I painted in the wax. Check it out in my photos, let me know any thoughts.

So another father's day has come and gone. I am one of the unlucky masses to have two dads. I have a sperm donor who planted his seed and then split and didn't try to raise me again until I was 18 and he saw my first tattoo and got a dad like. Then I have my real dad who is actually my step-dad who put in all of the work. My "dad" is the one who raised me since I was 6. He saw my first goal in soccer, taught me to shave, spent most of the year in a car driving me to another soccer tourney and sitting on either frozen bleachers or scorching sun. He is the one that dealt with the cops when I was in trouble, took me to the hospital when I would bail on my skateboard and even the one who held mine and mom's hands when the doctor told them that I wasn't coming back to life. He paid for college, helped me get the hang of things, kicked my ass when I really screwed up. To sum it all up, he is the one who REALLY loves me because he did it all even though I am not his real kid. This weekend my sperm donor came into town and acted all parental at my nephews baseball game. My dad(step-dad) was there, as always, just being dad. It killed me inside to have to be chatty with Jeff(sperm donor) and not be able to tell my dad all of the nice things that he never hears from me but I really mean to tell him. I place nice with the other side of the family for my brother and half-sisters sake, but I die a little inside every time. I try to look at things like the zen practitioner that I am but I hate having to treat my dad like that and I hate that Jeff feels that is the way it should be. You would think that after 20 years of doing this dance I would be very good at this, but it wasn't until college that I began speaking to the sperm donor again and my dad and I got really close. All I can do is live my life and try to be understanding but I don't want to hurt my dad.

this is probably the softest I have been since I was about 9 years old. I care for my dad and appreciate him more than he will ever know. There are no words to describe it.

HOW FULL OF SHIT IS THE "PRESIDENT"

So, after nearly 20 years of schooling I have finally graduated from college. I am now on the perverbial precipass of the future. I am now facing the problem with do I "sell-out", shave my mohawk and cover my tattoos to get the job/insurance that I "need" or do I continue on my chosen path and continue adorning my body with art and expressing myself as I choose. Throw into the equation the fact that I am moving in with my girlfriend and now there is the possibility of not just fucking my life up, but another persons and decisions aren't as black and white as they once were. Ah....I long for the simplicity of 16 again where my biggest decision was where we were going to skatboard that night and who to hang with on Friday. I will finish my sleeve even though my mom and my inner self is screaming reminding me that I have to pay back student loans and pay for a move to a new city in a month. Oh well, I continue to live my life one day at a time and try to avoid thinking too far ahead.

I am being forced against my own will to tell everyone about how beautiful my girlfriend is. Her name is Stephanie and she is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I think that she is the hottest girl that I have ever seen and the most talented artist in existance. I have a strict reputation of being a emotionless hardass and for some reason this woman found her way through my thick skin and actually makes me happy. You can see a photo of us in my pics section, but she's mine so no touching. I'm the one who did nasty things with her on the couch while her flatmate was away, also on her flatmates table. SOooooo hot


Thanks Panda Bear

Today as I was leaving campus I bought a homeless man, who is always begging for whatever people have, some juice. I was walking past our union and saw him watching some religious fanatice wave their "Fags go tot hell" banner while ranting and raving to the disdain of the open-minded. I went into the union and bought this man an orange juice and what followed was the most intelligent conversation I've had in five years of dealing with academics. This stinky, ratty, disheveled bum sitting outside the doors of my fair university had more knowledge, wisdom, and insight that anyone on that campus, present company included. He hit the nail on the head when he broke down these poor confused biggots rant for what it really was and was able to logically and clearly tell me what was wrong with it and why it won't work. It made me feel very good to have a conversation with this man and to see that while the people in power make the rules, have all of the money, and control most outcomes, it's those who have the least that actually have the most. This man was able to see clearly and understandably because he had nothing and his only concern was being. This is the knind of knowledge I hope to attain. I've tried for years now to find it in meditation and buddhist teachings and scripture, I just need to let go of everything. I have a new friend now who said the smartest thing that I have EVER heard:

"If I tell you that the fucking bridge is out and you choose to continue on, it's your own damn business. I can just point you in a direction"

-His name is Abe-