Nice to finally be home!! I am very happy to say that i am now home at last! I didn;'t know i had missed it here so much until i finally got back. So i hope everyone is still doing well, or better then well . . . . i hope you all are doing awesome!

Well it is about that time to go (finally) I got my train ticket the past friday (8/1/08) and i will be leaving for home sept 3rd. I can't wait to get back to where all my family is at. It is going to be fucking great to be home! The sad thing with this is now i am just sitting around counting down the days till i leave haha. I will put something up when i get home just to let whoever comes to read this (which i can honestly say i doubt is very many people haha) that i finally got back!

Well i know it has been awhile since i have out anything new, but that has been because thing have been up and down ride a carnival ride for me. Found out my dad has a weak heart (and here i am broke and can't make it home to see him) and had massive fluid buildup on his legs, but a good thing is that he got a good therapist that has help him get it under control. And then of course i have my x wife calling me now (i could die happy if i never hear her voice or see her again) and then to top it all off my roommates girlfriend told him he has till spring to be in Seattle or she is leaving him. So i come home from work to have him tell me that he needs me to leave because he can save more money if he pays all the bills . . . . . (yeah i said the same thing, wtf??) But even something good came out of this as well i have till the end of August before i have to leave and only have one bill to pay because like he said he can save more paying them on his own. So i get paid three times in August ( ) so i will have four paychecks by then and the good thing to come out of this is that after i get my last check i am done it is time to pack up and head back home. (north georgia) I can't say i will miss much about this state after i leave. (montana is where i am now) I can't wait to be able to start again new!

Well that was nice . . . i went camping this past weekend and that was so much fun! Three days with no one but myself =) My stress level has went down a great deal and now i feel like i can breath and think again! I hope all my friends had a great weekend as well! I had forgot how nice it is to just get away from everything and everyone for a few days. Sadly i have no one to go with me on this trips though. =( But it was still a well needed trip of that i am certain.

Well it was a pretty crappy weekend for me. But on a better note i am hoping to be heading up into the mountains again this coming weekend, so it will be nice to just get away from everyone. It crazy how when i get a chance to just get away into the middle of nowhere i can come back with a whole new out look on what is going on in my life. So i am really looking forward to getting to go on this trip, i can handle the everyday stress for a while but after a while it starts to drive me crazy. And then everything else that is going on is not helping at all, i had finally thought that i was going to get caught up on bills with this last check i got but when i got my check on friday it said i grossed about 700 dollars but was only getting 400 after taxes. I was getting pretty pissed off about all this by the time i made it back to my work place. I went in and talked to them about it only to find out that some detective agency that is about 200 miles aways from me had issued a court order to garnish my wages for some bounced check from my x wife. I had some bounced but only three to five where they hit my back a day before i got my pay in the account, but the amount they are saying i own them is in the thousands. So now i am thinking ok just how many checks DID my x write that i didn't know about, ad they can't and won't go after her cause i was the main person on the account and she has not had a job in over two years. So i called to see if she could help and well i won't go into details lets just say it was a wasted 20 mins of my day, so i was thinking well when i get that second check from bush i will just take that check and a check from work and head back home so i can be around family. Now this was just the cherry on top of the cake to me, so yesterday the plane that carries the mail to the town i live in crashes and burns to the ground. So you know it would seem that if some of us don't have bad luck we would just not have anything at all.

You would think i would just get used to it by now. i have tried dating girls from freaking 18 all the way to the same age as me. I am sick of people saying "oh your relationships don't work out cause you go for teenagers" Well guess what asshole, it don;t seem to matter how old they are, how nice i am, how good i treat them. You would think i would just either be single and say fuck it, or just not care. But i do, i do care, maybe i care too damn much.
First real relationship: Same age as me, 4 1/2 years. Status: Dumped
Second real relationship: Two years younger then me, 5 years. Status: We both decided it was better to break up
Third relationship: Three years younger then me, 1 year. Status: x wife.

I have only had dated a total of 8 people, and there was a time span of at least 6 months to a year in between each. Each person i have been with has found some reason to leave me. And if they can't find a reason then they will just dig and dig until they do find a reason then throw it all up in my face. i am just too old to play childish games. And it seems like i have just been wasting years of my life in these last relationships.

The shortest real relationship (by real i mean not being in the third grade,or the stupid school yard games of having a friend say my friends what to date you) i have been in has been about a 4 months. It was long distance so i can understand why it didn't work.

As sad i it is to say this . . . either i am setting myself up to just be hurt, or people just don't care anymore. And sadly it has changed my outlook on a lot of things that have to do with having other people around me. It is almost like now if someone ask me about dating the only answer i have is along these lines "why would you want to date me? Just so you can rip my heart out and stomp on it a few times . . . . no thanks, i'm good" I HATE feeling like i can't even trust people.

Ahhhh sorry had to get that out of the way haha. I feel like i can't breath anymore, i have been so busy that it seems like days are just disappearing and i don;t even remember them. I have so much to do and so little time, i got into The art institution in Atlanta for culinary art (cooking for anyone who may not know =) )So i am trying to get all my stuff done because i have online classes first but then i have to be down in Atlanta. That is about a 1100 mile drive i am going to have to make to get down there by the next quarter.I am happy and scared to death all at the same time haha, so just wish me luck and when i get done with school who knows maybe i will be able to go see other places beyond the ole u.s. of a haha.

Well i have been doing pretty good for the most part, i work nights and some people think i am crazy for that. But some of you may know what i mean when i say i HATE day shift. To me is like having to drag myself out of bed and all i want is to go back to sleep. My job is not a cake walk either that is for sure, i work with mentally handicapped people and some times i get the pleasure of them get all pissed and having behaviors. What are this you ask, well spitting in your face, hitting you in the head, biting you if they get the chance, and there are others but i don;t really think anyone wants to know about those. But when i started it was pretty easy going, now days it is like working with a bunch of ten year olds, and i don;t mean the clients . . . no they are who they are, i mean the co-workers. Everyone wants to bitch and whine about everyone else, and refuse to talk to the person about it and then it turns into he said she said bullshit. It is getting old, almost as old as the fact they change my days around all the freaking time. I will get my days all in order and get some good sleep and then when i look at the schedule and then they have screwed with my days again. Like before i worked 10 pm to 8 am mon - fri got out of work friday morning at 8 am and had the whole weekend to do what i needed. Well it was that way for almost three weeks and it was nice, then i looked and they gave those shifts to a newbie and then started bitching cause the work wasn't getting done. and now come to find out the person they gave my shifts too quit this morning. Kinda ironic, I have been working for this place for . . . . well it was 8 months on the 17 of march. An i have been through hell for about 4 of those 8 months. In 8 months i have seen 6 people quit, and one guy killed himself. Don't know about that one i don;t think it had much to do with work but who knows. I am just ready for a change and the sad part is the job i have is one the top paying jobs in this town, at a whopping 8.50 and hr. Blah i need to get back to Tennessee 8.50 an hr is McDonalds wages there. But anyway i think i have vented enough haha thanks to all the people who put up with me!

OK i am about ready to scream and start throwing wrenches. I have tried and tried to get my freaking truck up and running and it all seems to go good until i need to move on to the next part, then i get it and guess what . . . . not the freaking part i need! LOL going crazy here so a future note to all you lovely people out there . . . . . . i would advise against letting you x drive your vehicle unless you are really really . . . . . really sure it will come back in one piece. Just don't want to see anyone end up like i am . . . 2500 bucks in my truck and i still have parts i have to get!

OK i am now sitting at work . . bored out of my mind. On the work computer even though they tell us we are not suppose to be on it. haha oh well what they don;t know don't hurt em! Can't wait for the weekend even though i am sure i will be spending most of it working on my truck or my car. But oh well it needs to be done., just wanted to blabber on here i guess haha night to all!