Alright, so it has been a little bit since I have blogged. I felt as if I should tonight. I'm not sure if anyone reads these blogs. There are a lot of members and a lot of blogs so mine would be easy to miss. I'm not gonna stop blogging just because no one reads these, but it would be nice to know that someone does. Anyway, I just went out on a night walk. This is something I try to do often once the weather starts to warm up a little. It was good for me, it gave me a breather and time to relax. However, I noticed how dark my neighborhood has become. I could go out there and simply vanish without a trace. I kid of course.

So, if anyone has been reading my blogs they know about the situation with that girl I really liked. If you don't know the story, but are reading this, read my last few blogs to get caught up. There is no need for me to retell the story. I do need to put and update on it however. It's something that I am pretty much completely over, but from time to time it still hits at me and bugs me. So, she started ignoring me again and to make a long story short the only reason she hung out with me anymore was to get close to my best friend. She immediately stopped talking to me, started talking to him and then started dating him. She knew I had feelings for her. I told her and every time she needed someone, I was there. I ran to her at the drop of a hat without a moments hesitation. I always tried to make her feel better, I always tried to make her happy. Yes, there was a part of me that was trying to start dating her even though I knew she had liked someone else previously, that had ended. After everything, the reason I really did everything was for her, to make her happy and such. It wasn't something I had to do, but I did, for her. However, I was easily ready to accept if she didn't feel the same way and I would be just fine if she just wanted to be friends in the end. However, what I was not fine with was her using me to get with my best friend. He knew I liked her too, but he's a jealous sack in the end. He tried to get with my other friends girlfriend at an anime convention last year, knowing she was taken. So that was a dick move for him to do to me. He's a cool guy and all, but he's not ready for a relationship, he's not mature enough for one. If you have ever seen the movie High Fidelity, he's kinda like the male Charlie. What he says might sound funny at first, but in the end you realize it's all useless BS.

So, I talked to them about it. He wouldn't answer me but I got her to. I told her straight up how I felt and how I felt I was wrong. However, I fairly gave her a chance to explain her side. In the end we basically decided to try and remain friends. Just a few days ago, he texted me and we talked a bit and decided the same thing. I do hope that we can all be friends in the end and I know the relationship won't last. However, I am not gonna welcome them back with open arms. Yes, I will welcome them back, but they will be on a short leash. They will have to work hard to regain my trust. The thing is, if they aren't willing to work hard, then they don't really want to be my friend again anyway. If that's the fact in the end, I don't need to waste my time with them. So we are slowly working on trying to rekindle everything, but it's going nowhere so far. The good thing is, it helped me find out who my real friends are. I really found out that of my coworkers actually care about me and realize I am a good guy. They know I handled the entire situation like an adult and they respect me for that. I am now trying to find a new group, because they were the only ones I ever hung out with. Now it's hard to for me to really do anything with people. I am probably taking a creative writing class at a community college next semester. That will help me meet more people that are into the same kind of stuff that I like and hopefully help me to make more friends. Well, I guess that is it, I don't have much else to say. If anyone is reading this, thanks

Well, tonight is not a good night.... If anyone read my last blog, they knew what I was going through and knew that I was planning to ask this girl out. She still wouldn't text me so we never got to hang out. I tried again today and she finally texted back. She mentioned she had gone on a date last night..... I was crushed. At that point I knew I had to tell her how I felt, and did. I could only text her because we obviously weren't hanging out anymore. She did take it well and I told her how I felt but also told her that I wished her luck with this guy. They went on a date last night, but nothing is official. She really likes him, but isn't sure if he likes her in the same way. I meant what I said. I am far from in love with her or anything, but I do wanna see her happy. She did say she wanted to be friends, at least there's that. I told her I would love to be friends. But, it still sucks. Finally feeling something for someone and believing they may actually feel that same way only to find out they like someone else. Not to mention it being right around the time you were trying to admit those feelings and ask them out. I really don't know what is going to happen from now on. It will probably be even longer before someone can break the wall and cause me to have feelings for them.

Needs advice and people to read this blog!!!! One of my most important yet!!!
So... SG's and SGers. I think... yes, indeed I do believe I have a crush on someone. It has been such a long time since I have had a crush, it kinda crept up on and surprised me. She recently moved to my area and joined a local group I am in. The group is for people who like, anime, comics, video games, you know, "geeky stuff." Well anyway, she was introducing herself and I started talking to her. I was just meaning to be her friend, help her around the area and such, never even thought I would grow to "like". It wasn't until we started hanging out that I started to realize something. She likes video games, she likes anime and it seemed she really enjoyed spending time with me. She would come over to my house and we would play some L4D2. We had pizza one night at my house then I went over to her house one night, played some L4D2 and watched The Fourth Kind. As fun as all that was, very fun, the thing I enjoyed most was just talking, chatting it up. It didn't have to be about anything in particular, didn't have to be an important discussion. It just made me smile and made me happy to talk to her. I wanted to make sure however, that I did like her before I made my move. It has been a long time, I am a nice guy and the last thing I wanted to was to make a move then a month later find out I was wrong about my feelings.

I finally figured out asking her out was the way I wanted to go. But that's when things changed. I wanted to get to hang out with her again, ask her in person instead of just over a text or over the phone. But her behavior started to change. There were little things she said that made me wonder if she wasn't crushing on someone else... I can get paranoid, not having the worlds best luck with women. I knew I could easily be wrong and I brushed it off. Then there were other things. She didn't text me as much as she used to. At first we were constantly texting, today.. she didn't even respond to me..... She hasn't been seeming to want to hang out as much. Yesterday she was busy, she had a job interview and stuff to do that day. I didn't mind that. She also seemed to really care about my well being when I was at a bar drinking. She offered to give me a ride home, told me to be careful and wanted me to text her when I got home. No one has done that for me in long time and it felt nice. But then today.. ((We did talk in the group chat, so maybe she has phone problems? Maybe her phone's dead and she lost her charger, maybe she has a limited text plan, maybe she just didn't feel like talking at all?)) but she didn't ever text me back. I'm really hope I am just looking too much into that. It's just this back and forth see saw of things that really make me wonder....

Anyway, I am off work again tomorrow. We lost an employee so I don't see many days off in my future. Tomorrow... I am going to once again ask her to hang. When we hang I am just going to be myself and try to get into that chatting mode that is just so fun and makes me happy. Then, I am going to gather up the courage to just tell her how I feel. If she is thinking of another guy, I at least have to try right? Put my effort in there. No one can say I didn't try. I really hope she can... and that she at least responds to me. It has been a long time since I have had a crush, longer since I have dated. This would be a great thing for me, and I would be happier more. My question to anyone reading this is do you have any advice, what do you think? Also, wish me luck. I know I won't sleep much tonight......

This will be a short blog to thank the girls of SG for giving me a happy end of the day on my b-day. It was on the 12th, and while far from a bad b-day, most of it could of been better. I planned to meet some friends at a Buffalo WIld Wings to celebrate. Some of them had good excuses, but some of them were just too cheap to come out. I still made the best I could of it, ate what I wanted then came home and just chilled. I logged onto the site later that night and browsed through a couple of the sets, all of you ladies are incredibly goregous and totally made my day. Thanks again!!!!

So, I was going to use part of this blog to talk about how picky I can be about the kind of woman I want to be with. It's not a bad thing, I just know what I want. However, when I was reading through my past statuses, I noticed I had already touched on the subject a few blogs back. So, I guess this blog will be about what I received for xmas and my Xmas in general.

This year was a good year, it was happier than most years, or at least more than the last few years have been. It's not that the last few years have been sad or anything, but xmas always seemed to come, then just slip by and before i knew it, it was over. This year, the family gathering was at out house and the family was actually tolerable as well. Most of the time, they drive me insane. This year, I have to admit I actually had fun spending time with them. This year, time didn't seem to go by as fast and I actually felt a little xmas magic. It wasn't as much as we felt when we were little kids, but it was more than I have felt in a long time.

As for my presents, I did well this year. I'm just going to go over the main stuff that I really liked. I got The Who's Quadrophenia box set! It's so awesome, the band is bliss and I am listening to one of the CD's from the set right now. I also got the rock opera, Tommy. I haven't seen it before, but now I will get to. I got this awesome Star Wars wall clock, yes I'm a nerd, but that's not a bad thing. Going off topic, but staying on the Star Wars topic I have to venture out to say that the new MMORPG The Old Republic is awesome! It is, by far, the best MMO I have ever played. Looks like WoW will fall into the past now. They did a great job with giving it the SW feel, and it's a must have for any fan who games and has the time and money! I got Persona 2 for PSP, Mario 3D land for the 3ds ((Which isn't all THAT great....)). That's pretty much it save for a few other gifts I don't want to discuss here. Not that I didn't appreciate them. Hopefully, by next year, I will have a woman by my side that I can love, and who can love me back for who I am. It seems that it's getting harder and harder to find that these days. Ignorance and stupidity is much too attractive to day it seems. However, that is a topic for another day. Well, that's it for tonight. Goodnight SG.

So today was a pretty good day for me, nothing spectacular, but good First off I went to see The Adventures of Tin Tin before work. I am going to share my thoughts on that a bit later in this blog. Then at work, there was this H&R block lady that was promoting their block doing taxes. She asked if anyone would take a picture with her, I did. She asked me to smile in the pic, which was no problem with her standing right beside me. Afterwards, she gave me a hug Finally, after work I caught the season finale of American Horror Story. Since then I have just been watching Futurama and browsing SG. So a good movie, a hug from a cute woman, and just chilling watching good tv and shows, along with goregous naked ladies. Good day, good day

Now, about Tin TIn. I loved it! Being someone who grew up with, and still watches the cartoons and reads the comics, I was afraid Spielberg would fuck up the movie. However, he didn't, I thought he did a very good job with it. As you might guess, he went on his own way with the story, rather than going exactly with the comics or shows. However, he did a good job with this and there was plenty of nice action and good storytelling. That's what Tin TIn is after all. Yet, to keep true to the comics, Spielberg put a lot of references to the comics in there. There names in the opening and such that only readers of the comic, or watchers of the show could catch. There were comic strips as well as animations in the background that used words and sound effects from the comics. Spielberg did a great job with the characters, giving the same life they had in the comics and cartoons. They all had their catchphrases, I squeed everytime Tin Tin said "Great Snakes" or Haddock said "Blistering Barnacles!". He kept the goofiness of the Tompson twins as well. Snowy was done quite well also, we can't forget him! Through the whole movie I fell in love with Snowy once again I don't want to say much more, lest I spoil something for those of you who haven't seen it. If you want to, or are on the fence, all I can say is go!!!!

Alright, another blog. I missed a few nights, but I am writing more than I usually do. Speaking of writing I recently started playing Alice: Madness Returns again and finished the game, good game. "What does that have to do with writing?" you may ask. Well, I want to ((and have been meaning to for a while now)) write my own Alice In Wonderland themed ((roughly themed)) story, start a role play online or both. As stated, it would be roughly based in an Alice In Wonderland theme, don't expect something to fall 100% in line with either of the movies, the games or Carrols novels. It would be my own tale using the same kind of setting, I mean, there's a lot you can do with that kind of subject.

The plot would focus around two people, Alice obviously and her lover ((Idk if I will make the lover male or female yet)). Anyway, Alice would once again seep into her own mind and her own madness. She would get lost in a broken version of Wonderland. ((Yes, I know that's the basic plot for the games but let me go on.)) Her lover would then, follow her into Wonderland to try and pursue, find and rescue her. The story, would constantly switch between between both of their stories. Alice's version would be much more demented and hint at where she was, so you could guess, but never be 100% sure. She would always be one step ahead of her lover. Her lovers story would be a lighter half, him not being quite as mad. He would follow Alices trail and you would find things in his parts of the story, that were found in Alices. Stuff that might of been left behind, and so on so you would know that he was close to her, yet so far away.

I'll probably post it here when I get the first part finished, which will hopefully be tomorrow or later this week. It should be fun, especially using the contrast between Alices story and her lovers.

Three nights in a row that I have written a blog?!!! I am really digging writing on this site. Maybe it's because unlike Facebook, I don't know anyone on the site and it has a better community ((for the most part)) than something like LiveJournal. So, what is my topic for tonight? Not so much of a brag on myself but a self induced confidence boost if you will.

I'm a nice guy, a real nice guy. I am a good person I'm sweet and kind, especially to the fairer sex. I'm not a dick ((unless of course you treat me like crap, then it's your own fault)) Even then, people that have hurt me in the past I still treat kindly, because I am better than that. I don't see a girl and think about all these things I would like to "do to" her. If she is one of the rare ones that can catch my eye, I think differently than a lot of others do. It's more of a "Hmm, I wonder what kind of person she is. If I were to get to know her, it could lead to something more than a friendship. We could hang out, I could make her laugh, we could cuddle, watch movies, game together, and so on down the list . I am a nerd and goddamned proud of it! Us nerds are awesome! I can offer great advice, I have always been good at that. I'm one of the best friends you can have, and the rare times I am dating, I rock as a BF. Girlfriend texts me, I'm playing a video game? Yes there is a pause button. Hell I do that for girls that are just friends. If a woman around me is down, I try my best to cheer her up. If one is in danger I do my best to protect them, like walking them to their car in a dark parking light after work and staying in front of them then watching to make sure they get in their car and out of the lot safely. Chivalry isn't dead with me! I know a lot of these facts are random and out of order but I just type them out as I think of them. I'm hysterically funny and have a great sense of humor... and I will stop the list there.

My point is, not just to myself but to anyone else that may read this blog. Don't doubt you are awesome, because you probably are. People will always try to put you down, make you feel worthless, make you feel like a loser and so on. The more people do that, the more it shows how badass you are! I mean why else would they want to bring you down? Remember that these people may feel inferior to you. It's hard sometimes, we have all been through it. I am almost 26 and I can count the number of girlfriends I have had on one hand. I'm not a "ladies man". I'm a nerd, I am short and look young for my age. I can go on and on with the list of things I may personally dislike about myself. But what I do is I realize something. The list of good things, far outweigh whatever may be on the bad list. If you are reading this and are dealing with the issue of feeling down about yourself, compare your two lists. If you still cant find a way to make the good outweigh the bad, talk to people you care about. They will add things to your good list you may not of thought of otherwise. Hell, ask me and I will go to you profile and find at least one thing to add to that list Goodnight everybody.

So, I am blogging two nights in a row! That's something that usually doesn't happen. I guess the first and probably only topic for tonight will be something I haven't discussed before. Often times something will happen and it will really remind me how different or "awkward" my taste in women, or my definition of beauty is. Awkward of course being out of the normal, generic idea of what beauty is, that most of the guys around me, if not all, seem to share. Not that I am complaining, I love my unique tastes I guess that's why a typical Playboy magazine doesn't do much for me, but a site like SG totally rocks my world. Anyway, a written example would be easier to understand than really just trying to "describe" it.

Today at work, my friend passed by this young girl turned his head around and stared while he continued to walk. I chuckled at him and told him he should be glad there was nothing in his way or he would of crashed right into it, embarrassing himself in front of the young lady he was so interested in. He turned to me, waited until she was well enough out of ear shot and says. "Man, did you see her! If I wasn't engaged I'd be going for that!" I just shrugged, shook my head and replied "Eh, she was ok" He then proceeded to ask me why I would say such a thing, how she could only be "Ok" So began my explanation...

"You see girls like that everywhere... seriously. Typical blond hair in a typical long style. Shirt much too tight, same with pants. You can tell just by looking at her that she is trying much to hard to show off, and to impress any guy she walks by. She's the guy that most guys will turn their head for, because she's the typical definition of what should be sexy. I'm not saying she's ugly, or that she's a bad person or anything like that. I am just asking, where is the uniqueness? Where is something different than so many of the other girls walking around? Call me crazy but I like my girl to have a unique look about her, I couldn't really explain it to ya man.. it's just something you have to understand on your own. I like a girl, that knows she's pretty, but doesn't have to go to extreme lengths to either prove it to herself or others. Hell, maybe I am just a cynical picky guy, but it's whatever. I know what I want."

Obviously those weren't the EXACT words spoken, but very close. Idk, when i was really young I liked that kind of girl, but for a long time now.. I just don't. Like I said, I'm not trying to put them down or trying to say they are ugly or anything. I don't think they are any less of a woman. I am also male so idk how it is to be a woman, and what they think when they go out into the world where they are around men. Idk what they think about their self image and yada yada yada. So I'm not trying to put anyone down. I just wanted to share that I guess, if anyone reads this, share your opinions.

Hm, so I was kinda bored and I figured I would make a new blog and update about... idk, whatever. So one thing, I took my hands on test in my Computer Upgrade\Repair 1 class on Thursday. The teacher said that he would assist anyone who might get lost or stuck, at the cost of five grade points. I got to a point where I couldn't do anything, but was sure I had everything right and eventually had to ask for help. My teacher walks in the room thinking it would be something easy to catch, something that I had personally screwed up with. Nope He checked all my cords, made sure everything was seated properly into its place and checked my BIOS. Of course, he found everything to be proper and in it's place. The fact that I was doing everything right and somewhat stumped the teacher was a feeling of accomplishment for me It may be the basic stuff for right now, but I am working my way up

Well, another thing, I saw the movie Take Me Home Tonight. I had heard a good number of bad reviews for it, so I just waited until it was on Netflix. I don't think it was a bad movie, nothing special or anything done too well. but one of those worth a one time watch through. It was kinda cool to see Topher Grace back in something ((He played Eric on That 70's Show. Eric was always my favorite character.)) and he played his party pretty well. It has some funny parts and a good message. In the end, there are far better movies out there like it, yet it wasn't as bad IMO as so many people made it out to be.

So, I guess there isn't really much else to say. Therefore, I will just end this as I usually do my posts. I don't think anyone reads these, but if you do then thank you for taking the time to read them. Maybe something exciting will happen soon that I can blog about. I might try writing a short story and posting it, or something like that idk. Hey, if anyone does read these is there anything you would like me to write about, or just whatever?