One of my best friends died today. He was sick, we all thought it was pneumonia but in fact it was pancreatic cancer. He went pretty fast, it was only a month since he first went to the doctor and found out. He didn't let any of us know until just last Thursday what was really wrong, there was no way to hide it anymore when they sent him home from the hospital with hospice care. I went to see him Saturday and he seemed 40 years older than he was. He looked old and frail, where as the last time I'd seen him before that he was home from the doc and talking about going back to work. I will always and truly always miss Bob, he was one of the funniest nicest people I'd ever known. My heart is heavy with his passing, it seems surreal that he's even gone.
So... I thought would be a good idea to upgrade my laptop to Windows 8. I did, and I like it, but then I realised I had no sound, my antivirus and Photoshop are also gone! It was Photoshop cs6 that I had installed when I ordered my laptop. Those of you who are photographers know how expensive this is! I mean, god damn, warn someone when this shit's possible. I still have all of my photography because I have it in a separate drive, so that's something. Oh yeah, while I'm bitching about Microsoft fucking shit up, on my desktop I had all of my music saved to my zune software, which they changed to Xbox music or some shit but since I wasn't made aware of this I lost all of that too! I tried upgrading and everything, nothing worked. Blah!
so, I've got pneumonia. It's been like 2 weeks and I don't feel like I'm getting better. I went to the doctor today and he said I still have it in my right lung, so he prescribed more antibiotics and drew blood to see if anything else was wrong. I have to go back for my followup Monday. I've been off work these past two weeks. Good thing is I save my time just for this kind of thing. I'm extremely bored. I'm tired of gaming, reading (five books, countless magazines) surfing the net, and there's only so much tv that one person can take! I want out! Aside from the doctor's office (although Brea is really cute there). My sleep schedule is all screwed up. I have been doing a lot of sleeping though so maybe I will be able to readjust when I'm better which I hope is soon. Doc has me off work til at least after Christmas, so its kinda nice for the holiday if I feel better by then.
Its raining out as I'm writing this, and its supposed to be turning into snow as we get into tomorrow. Yay, the first real snow of the season and I'm sick. Woe is me.
I try not to write downer blogs but blah.
Its raining out as I'm writing this, and its supposed to be turning into snow as we get into tomorrow. Yay, the first real snow of the season and I'm sick. Woe is me.
I try not to write downer blogs but blah.
Because NiaTheFae asked, here are some pix of my aquarium
This is what I started with. Live plants, but before fish:
And this is now,
This is what I started with. Live plants, but before fish:
And this is now,
It's been a busy HOT summer. Like record setting hot! I wouldn't mind so much but I work outside, so it has sucked! I've literally been drinking gallons of water every day! Remember kids, hydrate or die!
So, I was able to get myself a new vehicle all on my own. Went to a different dealer and guess what, no problems! They didn't understand what the issue was with the other dealership. The fucked up part? The truck I ended up getting was worth a lot more than the one I originally wanted! They had no problem getting me the loan, and I drove it home that night! Three days later I took my sis there and she got a car and got me out of the old account. I'll never cosign or do anything like that for her again, and told her to never even ask, (see previous blog)
Well, it wasn't all roses and butterflies. While I was on vacation, the stereo went out. I took it to a garage near where I was and they had to change out the amp and wiring harness, which was outrageously expensive. When I got home I went to the dealer because I had a warranty and they're in the process of re-embursing me, it just has to go thru a process...ugh.
So, now that I've been successful with my planted aquarium and my fish are thriving, I'm ready to go to the next step; a reef aquarium! The beauty and color and diversity of fish is amazing, so it's something I'm looking forward to diving into. (pun intended lol)
So, I was able to get myself a new vehicle all on my own. Went to a different dealer and guess what, no problems! They didn't understand what the issue was with the other dealership. The fucked up part? The truck I ended up getting was worth a lot more than the one I originally wanted! They had no problem getting me the loan, and I drove it home that night! Three days later I took my sis there and she got a car and got me out of the old account. I'll never cosign or do anything like that for her again, and told her to never even ask, (see previous blog)
Well, it wasn't all roses and butterflies. While I was on vacation, the stereo went out. I took it to a garage near where I was and they had to change out the amp and wiring harness, which was outrageously expensive. When I got home I went to the dealer because I had a warranty and they're in the process of re-embursing me, it just has to go thru a process...ugh.
So, now that I've been successful with my planted aquarium and my fish are thriving, I'm ready to go to the next step; a reef aquarium! The beauty and color and diversity of fish is amazing, so it's something I'm looking forward to diving into. (pun intended lol)
Everybody who knows me knows if they ever really are in need, I'll be there. Basically, I'll give the shirt off of my back.
For years, any time my sister has needed anything, I've been there for her. When she and her ex bought their house, they needed help buying the furnature, I got it for them with the understanding I'd get paid back. Never happened, not a dime. Later on in life, when she got her car repo'd, I was there for her and once again, I was never paid back. When she split with her husband, I'm the one who went and got all of her stuff and stored it until she moved back out of mom's. Then I took it all to her new place. She got on her feet and was doing well, but when she needed to buy a new car, she needed a cosigner. Guess who was there for her yet again? You got it, me.
My sister has been doing really good lately, She has a good job, she pays her bills, and she has a 23 month old daughter. (I so love my niece)
Here's where the fucked up starts. My truck is starting to have problems, so I wanted to trade it in. I saw a vehicle that I really like/want/need. I went to the dealer and gave all of my info, got the value for my trade, and was on my way or so I thought.
Remember me telling you about cosigning for my sisters car? Well it came back to bite me. Not that she hasn't been making payments, she has. The problem arose with the bank. Turns out when cosigned, they put me as the primary and her as the secondary, so it would appear that I am paying on two car loans, even though it would just be the one. The only way to get approved was to have a cosigner.
Are you following so far?
So, for the first time ever, I decided to call in a favor. I thought "No problem, after all I've done for her". Or so I thought. She "had to think about it leaning towards no"!
Are you kidding me? I told her the reason I needed it was because I did the same for her, The bank told them it was because of her car loan., and she hemmed and hawwed and made excuse after excuse,
"I don't think they will because I don't have credit" You have credit, you have been building it up by paying your bills.
"I have a daughter to think of" What does that have to do with it?
"I want to buy a house soon" So? I'll make all of my payments, it will have no effect on your credit for that (credit she claimed to not have earlier) or even make it better!
I just got tired of the excuses so I told her never mind. Just never ask me to do much for you any more.
I know she'll try the whole "Peyton needs" thing to get me to do stuff. Not going to work. I'm fed up. All these years, and I only ever ask for one favor, and get turned down? If she wasn't my sister I'd never talk to her again.
Am I wrong for being pissed?
For years, any time my sister has needed anything, I've been there for her. When she and her ex bought their house, they needed help buying the furnature, I got it for them with the understanding I'd get paid back. Never happened, not a dime. Later on in life, when she got her car repo'd, I was there for her and once again, I was never paid back. When she split with her husband, I'm the one who went and got all of her stuff and stored it until she moved back out of mom's. Then I took it all to her new place. She got on her feet and was doing well, but when she needed to buy a new car, she needed a cosigner. Guess who was there for her yet again? You got it, me.
My sister has been doing really good lately, She has a good job, she pays her bills, and she has a 23 month old daughter. (I so love my niece)
Here's where the fucked up starts. My truck is starting to have problems, so I wanted to trade it in. I saw a vehicle that I really like/want/need. I went to the dealer and gave all of my info, got the value for my trade, and was on my way or so I thought.
Remember me telling you about cosigning for my sisters car? Well it came back to bite me. Not that she hasn't been making payments, she has. The problem arose with the bank. Turns out when cosigned, they put me as the primary and her as the secondary, so it would appear that I am paying on two car loans, even though it would just be the one. The only way to get approved was to have a cosigner.
Are you following so far?
So, for the first time ever, I decided to call in a favor. I thought "No problem, after all I've done for her". Or so I thought. She "had to think about it leaning towards no"!
Are you kidding me? I told her the reason I needed it was because I did the same for her, The bank told them it was because of her car loan., and she hemmed and hawwed and made excuse after excuse,
"I don't think they will because I don't have credit" You have credit, you have been building it up by paying your bills.
"I have a daughter to think of" What does that have to do with it?
"I want to buy a house soon" So? I'll make all of my payments, it will have no effect on your credit for that (credit she claimed to not have earlier) or even make it better!
I just got tired of the excuses so I told her never mind. Just never ask me to do much for you any more.
I know she'll try the whole "Peyton needs" thing to get me to do stuff. Not going to work. I'm fed up. All these years, and I only ever ask for one favor, and get turned down? If she wasn't my sister I'd never talk to her again.
Am I wrong for being pissed?
I've been kind of neglecting SG lately, not sure why...
everything's going well with me, I'm getting a gym membership soon to get back in shape instead of being A shape. My doc told me I'm flirting with Diabetes, and losing 30 pounds will get me out of the shadows of it. I'm going to go at it as hard as I can, and lose more than 30lbs. I need to. I remember feeling a lot more alive before I packed on the pounds, and I want to feel that again.
I love all of you
everything's going well with me, I'm getting a gym membership soon to get back in shape instead of being A shape. My doc told me I'm flirting with Diabetes, and losing 30 pounds will get me out of the shadows of it. I'm going to go at it as hard as I can, and lose more than 30lbs. I need to. I remember feeling a lot more alive before I packed on the pounds, and I want to feel that again.
I love all of you
Going to the Dr. in the morning. I've been putting off the dreaded "40 year checkup" for 6 months. Went in two weeks ago for Pneumonia/bronchitis/laryngitis and the doc scheduled two appointments, one for tomorrow (labs) and one for next Friday (readings, checkup). I know I shouldn't worry, and for the most part, I'm not. There is a little twinge though.
I broke things off with my gf on the first of January, and have moved on. Not into a new relationship, but into taking care of me, getting my life back. I don't want to be with her because of how things were. The bad far outweighed the good, and the only thing of interest to her near the end was money/what I could do for her. There was no reciprocation. I'm happy and good now, but I have been dreaming about her as of late. They are those beginning of the relationship sweet dreams we have when things are new. This is confusing me, and I have been tempted to make contact. I don't know if my heart (loves too easily) is trying to outweigh my brain. I really have no regrets by splitting up with her, so why now, three months later am I having these dreams/feelings? I think it's because of my fear that I'll never find love. Or maybe I just need somebody...
On to better things, I've got my new aquarium! It's a 60 gallon tank, so it's a really nice size. When I originally bought it, my plan was to place it on a big oak table I have. Well, that wasn't a good idea, because the tank with all of the decor, water, rocks, and fish could weigh upwards of 700lbs! 700!!! So, I had to go back out and buy an aquarium cabinet. It damn near weighs 100lbs itself! I didn't get any fish yet, because I want the water in it to set up (losing the chemicals that the water dept puts into it) for two weeks, and then I'm getting live plants first, and then after a couple of days, the fish. I decided to go with fresh water because of ease of maintenance and cost, and availability of plants and fish. Bala sharks are the fish of choice, mainly because I like how they look and they are very clean fish. They swim in schools, so I'll probably pick up 7 or 9. I'm going to get other fish, but these are the only ones I'm decided on so far. When it's done I'll post pics!
I broke things off with my gf on the first of January, and have moved on. Not into a new relationship, but into taking care of me, getting my life back. I don't want to be with her because of how things were. The bad far outweighed the good, and the only thing of interest to her near the end was money/what I could do for her. There was no reciprocation. I'm happy and good now, but I have been dreaming about her as of late. They are those beginning of the relationship sweet dreams we have when things are new. This is confusing me, and I have been tempted to make contact. I don't know if my heart (loves too easily) is trying to outweigh my brain. I really have no regrets by splitting up with her, so why now, three months later am I having these dreams/feelings? I think it's because of my fear that I'll never find love. Or maybe I just need somebody...
On to better things, I've got my new aquarium! It's a 60 gallon tank, so it's a really nice size. When I originally bought it, my plan was to place it on a big oak table I have. Well, that wasn't a good idea, because the tank with all of the decor, water, rocks, and fish could weigh upwards of 700lbs! 700!!! So, I had to go back out and buy an aquarium cabinet. It damn near weighs 100lbs itself! I didn't get any fish yet, because I want the water in it to set up (losing the chemicals that the water dept puts into it) for two weeks, and then I'm getting live plants first, and then after a couple of days, the fish. I decided to go with fresh water because of ease of maintenance and cost, and availability of plants and fish. Bala sharks are the fish of choice, mainly because I like how they look and they are very clean fish. They swim in schools, so I'll probably pick up 7 or 9. I'm going to get other fish, but these are the only ones I'm decided on so far. When it's done I'll post pics!
So, I was gone for quite a while I suppose, and have been back for just over a month. I'm trying to reconnect with all of the friends I've made here, but so many have left, kinda makes me sad.
Have you ever gone back and looked at your older blogs? That's what I have been doing this evening and does it take me back. A lot has changed in the six years I've been here (on and off) with me, my life, the site, the girls... It seems there may have been some huge shift over the past year here that I missed.
I do still love it here, and I've been making new friends to fill the void the others made when they left. There are some who's accounts say "reactivate this account", but I don't know if they would want it reactivated. There are others who just left, "this person is no longer active" and some others who disappeared completely (PhoenixLeah for instance). I will always wonder what became of them, how they are getting on, etc.
Oh well, life goes on I suppose
