SURPRISE!!!

I know that I posted as recemtly as July but I felt I should post that I am canceling .my SG account. (it was due to expire next month.) If any one wants to keep track of me (not that they would) check my blog http://TheKiserSpeaks.com which I update more frequently but not much.

Wow, it has only been three months since I posted anything.

I actually have been avoiding this site since the end of June because it is so easy to get lost in it and forget everything else. I came up with the idea that I could blog for dollars. I mean why not I put SO many entries here I should get paid for some of it Unfortunately I can't seem to come up with anything to post. Which is really amazing since I always have something to say about everything.

I have been going through all my friends' blogs and the ones I have bookmarked and decided I am getting more senile then I imagined. I thought I stopped reading them around July 4th but some of the entries from June are totally "new" to me. I have been doing it in reverse order so the people who have posted most recently still need to be looked at. I needed a break so I thought I would write here in an attempt to get my writing genes motivated.

Oh, well, back to catching up on the people I <strike>envy</strike> love.

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."


When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

The Guys' Rules-------------------
>>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the
>>guys' side of the story.
>>( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>>We always hear "the rules "
>>From the female side.
>>
>>Now here are the rules from the male side.
>>These are our rules!
>>Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>>ON PURPOSE!
>>1. Men are NOT mind readers.

>>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>>We need it up, you need it down.
>>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
>>Let it be.
>>
>>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>>
>>1. Crying is blackmail.
>>
>>1. Ask for what you want.
>>Let us be clear on this one:
>>Subtle hints do not work!
>>Strong hints do not work!
>>Obvious hints do not work!
>>Just say it!
>>
>>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
>>question.
>>
>>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
>>what we do.
>>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
>>See a doctor.
>>
>>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>
>>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, ! don't
>>Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>>
>>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>>Don't ask us.
>>
>>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them
>>makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
>>
>>1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
>>done.
>>Not both.
>>If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>
>>1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>>commercials.
>>
>>1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>>
>>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
>>We have no idea what mauve is.
>>
>>1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>>We do that.
>>
>>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>>nothing's wrong.
>>We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we
>>know you will bring it up again later.
>>
>>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
>>you don't want to hear.
>>
>>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
>>Really.
>>
>>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
>>
>>1. You have enough clothes.
>>
>>1. You have too many shoes.
>>
>>1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>
>>1. Thank you for reading this.
>>Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>>
>>
>>But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>>
>>Pass this to as many men as you can -
>>to give them a laugh.
>>
>>Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

I stole this but I couldn't resist.

Waking up on Monday thinking it's Saturday SUCKS!

Okay, how is this for an excuse for not updating this blog: While filling out the profile section I entered an <a> tag and <img> that were too long so the HTML generated when I tried to look at my blog page got out of whack (That's a technical term.) so nothing appeared below the paper clip. (Edited to add: Don't try this at home. I had to get SG tech support to fix it.)

I have always said I can break any system I can lay my hands on. It's a great skill when people ask you to do testing but sometimes it bites me in the ass.

Anyway, the holidays weren't note worthy. It was a sparse Christmas. I stayed sober on New Year's Eve mostly because I had to go watch the neighbors fireworks and it was in the 40's. The reason I was obligated to go is that the neighbors will be moving soon and they made a big deal over having the biggest display they have ever done. So $800 worth of fireworks and an hour later I was finally allowed to return home. Cold weather gives me muscle problems so getting drunk isn't a good idea. Funny, but it took me all of my twenties and most of my thirties to figure that out. Getting a wheelchair stuck in a snow drift is too bad, unless you're alone.

Two thousand six didn't end well any way. All of my contracts dried up so I am back looking work/job/winning lotteries. Two of those I hate looking for. It's bad enough I have to pull my resume together but now I need to have multiple formats. Standard paper, a web site (since that is how I hope to make money) and then all of the job hunting sites. I will say I am impressed by the changes in Monster.com since I used it last in 2003. I might even find a job this time.

I'm also pissed at myself for ignoring my own advice. Never, ever, for any reason use credit cards. IF YOU CAN'T PAY FOR IT YOU SHOULDN'T GET IT!* I'm stuck between not answering the phone at all or telling them I have no money to give them. Since they call every day I do the former more than the latter.

Well, there is my update. It may not show but I am actually in a good mood. I'm feeling very optimistic about the near future. I have no reason to be. I just am.


*A house and a car are the exceptions, but only because ... I don't know why. They just are.