So I'm lounging about this big empty house nekkid, and I think "Hey! You know what'd be great? Tanning on the roof!" So I get the necessary gear together: book, iPod, towel, robe, climb up the ladder, hop out, and immediately feel stupider than I have since my first day of college.

You see, it's been sunny all day. and the roof is covered... with tar paper. After getting a wicked hotfoot, I came back inside, head hung in defeat.

Tomorrow, we try again. This time, with sandals, dammit!