like always, you guys are great and I always love and appreciate it when you reply and send me your beloved advice and opinions.

thanks guys!!! THANK YOU for everything!!!!

today is a new day and I'm feeling so much better....

I've talked to Both Bruce and the girl he invited.... I'm not sure where things will go from here, but I am happy that my normal self has been restored.

I took my huskies to the park yesterday evening and spent some quality time walking the wooded trails with them and then fought life and limb with them to spare the life of the unexpecting ducks at the mill ha ha!!!

It was a great evening and as silly as it sounds my dogs alway seem to know when I am down and give me that stupid dog grin that always makes me smile....

see what I mean

so yeah, not all of my dogs went with me to the park yesterdy LOL, I have a pack of wild devil dogs, but I still wanted to share the pics...

and as you can see.... don't you feel better now as well ha ha

They say history repeats itself... you would think that because of that I would have learned my lesson by now and not post blogs like I am about to post, but when my emotions get the best of me they seem to pour out and that's exactly what's about to happen....

All week long I have been working, working and waiting for my days off... LOL relief.... I know you know what I mean. The days away from work seem to go by so quickly and the ones where you are enslaved, well they pass so slowly it's like a cruel form of torture. Just what I'm being punished for I don't know.....

needless to say, I had plans to do something these next couple of days off work. Nothing insanely exciting, but some stuff I was looking forward to all the same....

So if there was a point, I would be getting to it about now.... I hate stupid human emotion.... I once read Alice Hoffman's book Practical magic, and in that book the last page had a quote that just struck a cord in me...
"there are some things Sally Owens does know.... always grow rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder... AND FALL IN LOVE WHENEVER YOU CAN... and that is exactly what I let myself do....

Everyone in life has their ups and their downs. Nobody's life is perfect, and I can't imagine anyone who has had a relationship that didn't sting just a little. Some more than others, but none the less, there's a reason for the song Love hurts....

And that is exactly what is ripping my soul apart right this moment.... well maybe that's a dramatic way to say it, but it sure is how it feels. I could spare you the detail, but chances are, the few of you who actually read this might as well know a little more about what the fuck I'm talking about......

They say not to wear your soul on your sleeves, well I guess I did and lost it. I knew from the start that Bruce wasn't right for me. I knew it from the second I laid eyes on him. He was beautiful... and I'm not sure why I put that in past tence cause he still is.... and the thing that I hate the most about that, is he knows it. There are people in this world that have talents, and I am always so envious of them. People who can draw, or sing, or dance, or write, or paint, people with amazing talents but people who NEVER appreciate them... Well Bruce appreciates his, but is too cocky and self centered to do anything with his talent.... his talent, just happens to be my weakness.... He's a musician, not the type that needs an instrument though, the type of musician that only needs themselves. He's an amazing singer... and one of the few people on this planet that has a love for music the way that I do. we connected immediately! we were inseperable!

I knew the second that I pulled the blankets away from me and asked him to crawl into the bed with me that I was making a mistake. I didn't care. I knew that he would hurt me, I don't know how, but maybe it was easy to see. Maybe I'm paranoid, either way, I was right....

I feel this enormous knot in my throat, a burning in the pit of my stomach and my heart litterally feels like it is being stabbed by a blunt object over and over. This blog, I guess is for me... a form of release because my pride won't allow me to call him. And some deep seed of evil inside me won't let me forget him.

The little shit, he's 8 years younger than me.... I was afraid of him from the start. He sang to me, he played with my hair, and he carried me to bed. He totally had me. I couldn't fight, I didn't want to, but I did. I tried not to fall in love with him.....

So now, 2 years later, I'm sitting here typing this blog on SG. I've still never accomplished anything here either. My reflections aren't very rewarding....

And Bruce well.... to make a long story short, decided to have a party this weekend and invite an old friend. A girl he went to school with.... and just so happened to forget that I existed...

I'm sure with time it will fade, but at the moment.... well at this very moment, I just wanna cease to exist.... and I think that maybe Sally Owens didn't know just what the fuck she was talking about.....

well. LOL I"m back ha ha... I didn't fall off the planet or anything.... just been busy as hell and working 3rd shift... I have no life anymore.... the last thing I got to do that was worth mentioning was going to the Mayhem festival a few weeks ago and seeing slipknot and meeting machine head.... now that..... THAT was a wonderful day!!!!!

thanks to everyone who wrote to me, I'm truely sorry I didn't get to respond sooner....

I'll have to start sending some e-love to make up for it ha ha....

who wants to go first ha ha....

FOR THE PERSON WHO KEEPS PUTTING THE TAG "WORST TATTOO'S EVER" ON MY SETS....

FUCK YOU....

YEAH, YOU HEARD ME....

July 21st....

That's when my newest set will be up for member review! I'm really excited and I honestly think this is my best set yet...

I just got back from Gatlingburg, TN. It's so beautiful down there. The Smokey mountains are gorgeous, and it was a wonderful way to spend Midsummer. Usually I travel to Beatyville, Ky and go to Crystal Crow's nest to camp for Midsummer or sometimes Beltane, but this year was different.
The moon was full over those blue hills and nature was vibrant. I even got to see a mama black bear and her cub. Having to come home and go back to work was the worst part LOL...
I really enjoyed my b-day this year though and got to shoot an amazing set while I was there. I've went over it so many times and I really can't see why this one wouldn't be accepted. So keep your fingers crossed for me and hopefully this will be the one...

Well, my set "Baphomet's Blessing's" is up now and I really hope it makes it... I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
I really appreciate everyone who has left comments on my set... you guys are great, and even though I lose my temper sometimes LOL, it's just cause it's something I really wanna do and rejection is never easy for anyone I don't care who you are or what you say...
I have another set coming up for member review on May 31st... Called "In Chains"... I hope you all like it as well...

WISH ME LUCK.... and most of all I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for all the friend requests and wonderful comments.... I do have just one more thing to add though....

I hate this, but LOL, the tat on my side is Marilyn Manson... It's the cover art from Smells like children.. ha ha... he may have green skin, but he's not the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz ha ha... so as much as I love the I'll Get you my pretty comments/emails LOL.... he's not Elphaba AKA the wicked witch

Wish me luck....

I have a new set called "Baphomet's Blessings" going up for member review on May 22nd... please check it out and leave me comments...

so what's the longest any of you have had to wait to see if a photoset is accepted or not... mine has been pending for what seems like FOREVER..... man I hope this one makes it...... wish me luck!!!!!!

my newest tat... I freaking love it, but no more tat's on the ribs LOL that was rough, yeah I'm a pussy, but fuck it hurt after about 4 hours. it was well worth the pain though cause it fucking kicks ass!!!!