If Elvis were still alive and in hiding, do you think he'd enter Elvis impersonator competitions for fun?

Now I know I'm getting old.

A friend called last night:

Friend: "what's going on?"
Me: "just reading the new Play Boy"
Friend: "oh"
Me: "the sad part is, I was actually reading it"
Friend: "that is sad"

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=24254269

Shake it if ya got it!

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

Remember, young padawan, no matter where you are, Gary the Retard is somewhere out there.

I was gonna leave due to inactivity but I've been using it lately so I'll stick around.

I'm leaving SG because I'm just never on it any more. Catch me on MySpace. I'll be glad to add any SG member to my friend list on MySpace. I'll be in and out of here until my account expires in early June.

Back in the late 80's and early 90's comedian Rich Hall was staring on a TV show called Not Necessarilly The News. On the show he had a segment called Sniglets which spawned a couple books. Sniglets are wrods that should be in the dictionary but arent. For example:

Bixplex (biks' pleks) n. Psychological block in which a person cannot choose which color of disposable lighter to purchase.

Crumbplumb (krum' plum) v. To attack a cereal box in an attempt to retrieve the prize.
Droot (drewt) n. A Dorito with an unnatural fold in it.
Mallmanac (mall man ack) -n The mall directory
Nurge (nerj) v. To inch closer to a stoplight thinking that will cause it to change quicker.
Snackmosphere (snak' moh sfeer) - n. The empty but explosive layer of air at the top of a potato chip bag.
Snargle (snar' gul) v. To lessen the visual impact of a horror movie by filtering it through one's fingers.
Woowad (wew' wad) n. Giant clumps of stuck-together rice served at Chinese restaurants.

I use mallmanac and snackmosphere to this day. Anyway....

I got 4 hours of sleep last night. At work I was a little slap happy so I thought up a couple Sniglets while chewing some Chiclets.

Chicshoot (chick shoot) - n. The little opening that allows only one Chiclet out at a time.
Chicklimit (Chik lim et) - n. - The amount of time it takes for Chiclets to loose their flavor. Typically about 3 minutes.
Chixpac (chiks pac) - v. Eating half of a box of Chiclets at once. (maybe it's an adverb, I forgot all the rules)
Bazoocrete (bazoo creete) -n. The old penny candy version of Bazooka bubble gum which only softened after 5 minutes in your mouth.